The News of the Weird Blog
Angst, Confusion, Cynicism, Ridicule
Hand-Picked and Seasoned by Chuck Shepherd
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
© 2013 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
Awesome: These four grown-ups, since high school and for 23 yrs now, play an all-consuming game of “tag” among themselves every February to see who becomes “it” for the year (the last one tagged as the month expires). Since they live in different cities, this is not simple. Creativity flourishes, and relaxing during February will be costly. Wall Street Journal
Smoking Kills: The pair are not dead yet, but maybe soon, after they lit up while on top of oil storage tanks at 3 a.m. Dallas Morning News
Seaford, England: To raise money for repairs, St. Peter’s Church, built in the 12th century and apparently eerily quiet inside, is selling 30-minute CDs of that sound of silence. (And if you listen to it with noise-canceling headphones, you time-travel [rim shot!].) World’s Greatest Newspaper
Broward County, Fla.: Bless labor unions’ hearts. The union did its damnedest, but transit driver Larry Moore, 62, is finally out. Nineteen disciplinary actions (some bad driving, some for getting in passengers’ faces), 9 chargeable accidents, on the verge of firing in 2008 but given one more (zero-tolerance) chance (after which they gave him 7 more zero tolerances). Two weeks ago, he took the opportunity to “retire.” South Florida Sun-Sentinel
Lake City, Fla.: Derek Lee, 24, home-invaded a women’s jewelry party, but despite a gun still lacked street cred with the women, who thought it was a party gag and that the gun was a toy. As Derek’s anger built, the hostess arose: “In the name of Jesus, get out of my house now!” The others joined. “Je-sus! Je-sus! Je-sus!” Derek fled (and wouldn’t you?). Lake City being a small town, he was soon arrested. WJXT-TV (Jacksonville)
Cottages Row, England: Either the Least Competent Dog--or a canine thrill junkie--was zapped when he lifted his leg and let a lamppost have it, but there was an electrical short, and a flash, and the dog fell back, shaking. But then (recall an old Steve Martin shtik!) he went back again, same leg, same lamppost, same result. Sunderland Echo
[In America, you're presumed innocent . . until the mug shot is released]:
Louisville, Ky.: The charge was merely trespassing on federal property, but the U.S. Constitution still prevents the railroading of men who might be innocent, like, maybe Greg Parker, Earl Allen, and James Tully. (btw, Earl might want to see somebody about that neck.) WHAS-TV
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