News of the Weird 2.0 (November 12, 2013)

News of the Weird 2.0
Angst, Confusion, Cynicism, Ridicule

Prime Cuts of Underreported News from Last Week, Hand-Picked and Lightly Seasoned by Chuck Shepherd
November 11, 2013 (part II)
(datelines November 2-November 9) (links correct as of November 10)

Double Embarrassing: Derek Codd, 19, busted himself, basically, by leaving his cell phone in the home he had just burglarized in Lake Worth, Fla., but then, just as cops were realizing that the phone they found belonged to the perp, Derek’s mom rings him up. South Florida Sun-Sentinel

Fine Points of the Law: (1) A Canadian national in court in Dubai on misdemeanor illegal-insult charges said, via his lawyer, that he merely told the Egyptian victim to [fork] off, meaning scram. It's [fork] you that is the insult, not [fork] off. (2) Michael Robertson, 31, standing his ground against upskirt-picture-taking charges, argued that he has a First Amendment right to take such pictures. Privacy only protects the "concealed," and what is “concealed”? he asks. The “concealed” part is under the drawers, and Michael didn’t go there. Gulf News (Dubai) /// Eagle Tribune (North Andover, Mass.)

You’ve been reading about [maybe last week from Patty!] the rural New Mexico cops who seemed relentless in overapplying anal probes to detect hidden drugs (and the medics of Gila Regional Medical Center more than willing to oblige them), but now there’s a second case. [ed. Have a look at these cases; they’re not supposed to happen in the US of A, and this is one of those cases where the only solution is probably to bankrupt Hidalgo County so that voters clean house.] KOB-TV (Albuquerque) [Eckert case] /// KOB-TV [Young case] ///

The crack journalists at seem to top off the story by announcing that the guy who pooped on two pubs’ pool table would be dealt with by “restorative justice,” but without running us through the options on that. Maybe the pooper has to pay some money. Maybe the pooper has to perform some personal service for the bar owners. But maybe . . just maybe . . the pooper has to lie there and let the bar owners lay logs on his face. The Cornishman (Penzance, England)


“Pecatonica School District Admits It Mishandled Incident That Led to Student Drinking Urine” --- Wisconsin State Journal

“Mandatory Protective Eyewear in Porn?” ---

“Man Charged with Tasing Wife Over Packers Bet” --- KARE-TV (Minneapolis)

“Nebraska Author Sues Texas Publisher Over Books Involving Werewolf Sex” --- Omaha World Herald

Editor's Notes

Updates on Newza da Weird stories:

NOTW M343 (11-2-2013): Those Norwegian knitters failed in one of their schemes, anyway. They aren’t very fast. They turned out a knitted sweater, from sheep-shearing to conclusion, in 8 hrs, 33 mins, or almost four hours’ longer time than the Australian record. Suspicion Confirmed--that Ozzies "know" sheep. Cornell Daily Sun

NOTW 2.0 (10-28-2013): OK, those skydivers onboard that private plane that crashed somehow didn’t survive, but these skydivers onboard that private plane in a mid-air collision dived for safety and made it. WCCO-TV (Minneapolis)

Austin American-Statesman columnist Ken Herman gives a shout-out to Yr Ed because a leading candidate for Texas governor, current attorney general Greg Abbott, is actually “Gregory Wayne Abbott”--only Greg doesn’t want anyone to know that. Austin American Statesman

From our friends at, what they say are the 6 “Most Bizarre [yet] Safe For Work Fetishes!" Spoiler: They are girls who get stuck in quicksand, girls who lick doorknobs, people who wear inflatable suits, nose-picking and snot-eating, sneezing (“nasophiles”), wool fetishes, and human furniture freaks. [ed. That looks like 7, but maybe I'm too, umm, "picky" in distinguishing nasal activities.]

And there was a hoax busted last week. Turns out a husband probably is not suing his wife for having cosmetic surgery to hide her ugliness from him and therefore bait-and-switch him into fathering her half-genetically-ugly child. Huffington Post and Snopes have the details. (No, you didn’t read it in Newza da Weird, as far as I can tell.) Huffington Post ///
     Posted By: Chuck - Tue Nov 12, 2013

cell phone- I bet when he gets out of the slammer he will keep better track of his phone. (track phone hee hee)

f/off vs f/u- Yet another reason I could never visit the middle east, my speech patterns would get me in trouble!

unreasonable search and seizure- So, not an isolated incident then. I think bankrupting the county is a good idea in this instance!

poop- The guy is lucky they did not just drag him out behind the bar and kick his ass.

special needs student- Someone needs their ass thoroughly kicked! My sister is special needs and our mom would have kicked ass and taken names if this happened to sis.

goggles- Here's where all porn goes CGI and there are no more live actors.

Governor Wayne- Well, as Governor of Texas he would certainly oversee the deaths of a number of people.

plastic surgery- I liked this quote from Daniel Tosh about it,"Plastic surgery makes a person's outside match their inside, fake."

Great week Chuck, thanks for the shout out!xo
Posted by Patty in Ohio, USA on 11/12/13 at 08:21 AM
Double embarrassed: the word is "burgled". We don't need *"burglarised". Yes, I'm a pedant. So suetificate me.

F*#! off: he's wrong, plain and simple.

Anal probes: "not supposed to happen" will not save you as long as you keep electing, rather than selecting, the police.

Knitters: you're getting your Downthere'ers mixed up. It's the Kiwis who are the sheepshaggers (and the Welsh, but they're up here). The Ozzies do it with drop bears, AFAIK. (Not kangaroos - they run too fast to catch.)
Posted by Richard Bos on 11/12/13 at 08:58 AM
Public corruption is amon crimes I really hate. Theu abuse power and public resources which could help thousands of people. I hope that the court will make a right decision.
Posted by Mary Lawrence on 11/12/13 at 01:27 PM
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