The News of the Weird Blog
Angst, Confusion, Cynicism, Ridicule
Hand-Picked and Seasoned by Chuck Shepherd
Sunday, February 3, 2013
© 2013 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
Berlin: The upper Parliament passed Germany’s first anti-bestiality law, and it wasn’t easy, in that the “zoophiles” are organized (“Zoophilic Engagement for Tolerance and Enlightenment”) and busy educating Germans that human-animal sex is entirely consensual and that their own “partners” always get moist/erect. Major point: How can Germans allow the slaughterhouse but denounce “romance”? New York Times
Soweto, South Africa: Bands of middle-class-and-below teenagers prance around town in designer clothes, dropping wads of cash (ripped from their parents), then sometimes trashing the duds for fun. They are izikhotanes, and they gross out many people who are apartheid-survivors. “This isn’t what we struggled for.” BBC News
Bettendorf, Iowa: Sherwin Shayegan [NOTW M258] has apparently relapsed. He’s hanging around college and high school locker rooms again, either asking for, or tricking boys into giving him, piggyback rides. Deadspin.com /// Grantland.com (Sherwin Shayegan profile)
Seoul: Defectors report that North Korean women genuinely (not jealously) dislike large chests. One said she added chives to her diet because she heard it prevents gazongas from developing. Global Post via Fox News
Kensington, Australia: Prison researchers re-discovered the phenomenon of jerry-built inmate penile implants. Not every inmate goes for it, of course, but the incidence is high enough to be study material. Conclusion, according to TheAtlantic.com, after synthesizing the research: The prisoners are risk-takers, anyway, and they get bored in prison, and this seems like an exciting thing to do. (Implant materials:
silicone, sutures, buttons, dice, deodorant roller balls, melted toothpaste caps, "sticky tape") TheAtlantic.com
Burbank, Calif.: Jorge Sanchez, 35, shoplifted 24 quarts of motor oil by strapping them to his body and dashing out of the Costco. (Bonus: Security guards couldn’t catch him, even though, when spotted, he still had 15 quarts strapped in. Dude’s in shape!) Turns out he’s in the auto-servicing business, and oil is just too expensive to even buy wholesale. KCBS-TV (Los Angeles)
Memphis: Evidence is coming out in the massive cheating scandal by schoolteachers, paying people to take standardized qualifications tests for ‘em. The major ring was busted when the same impersonator showed up for the morning test and the afternoon test at the same site and both times was wearing the same pink baseball cap. New York Times
[In America, you're presumed innocent . . until the mug shot is released]:
Chattanooga: Laura Morgan was charged with the fatal beating of her 73-yr-old live-in guy, using the butt of a shotgun. But our dainty Laura actually loves men (for a price, anyway), plus she uses a wheelchair, plus she has no legs. Couldn’t be Laura. WBIR-TV (Nashville)
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