Who Fools the Foolkiller?

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The creative folks at Marvel Comics pride themselves on the fact that their fictional universe closely mirrors the real one--with the addition of superheroes, natch.

For instance, Spider-Man operates in New York City, not some imaginary "Metropolis."

And when the President of the USA is depicted, it's not Lex Luthor, but the real office-holder of the moment.

But the recent issue number four of the miniseries Foolkiller reveals a startling incongruity between the Marvelverse and ours.

Either that, or scripter Gregg Hurwitz and editor Axel Alonso have never ridden in an actual airplane before.

You see in this page the fat victim of the trained assassin enter a lavatory on a commercial flight. We'll give Hurwitz and Alonso props for mentioning that it's a tight fit. Nonetheless, enormous victim and killer somehow squeeze in together, whereupon the lav suddenly enlarges like a Tardis.

And then the killer drowns his victim in the potty.

Airline toilets simply do not feature basins of standing water. They operate with the push of a button and a sparse rinse of famous blue chemicals.

This killing, then, requires a larger suspension of disbelief than the existence of the entire Avengers, and will surely jolt any half-awake reader completely out of the attempt at realism.

That's just weird.

     Posted By: Paul - Fri Jan 02, 2009
     Category: Hygiene | Stupidity | Comics





Comments
What's even weirder is the guy calling for a doctor doesn't seem to see the fat lady's head in the toilet. He assumes a heart attack when it is clearly a drowning by murder.
Posted by Madd Maxx on 01/02/09 at 11:20 AM
It's a good thing for him that the victim put up no struggle whatsoever. Y'see, what he should have done was just follow her to the lav, snap her neck then return to his seat. Or, if it needed to look like an accident (highly doubtful) he could have followed her in and stuffed a chicken bone left over from the in-flight meal down her throat. He could have just come up behind her and wrapped his arm over her forehead and slip it in her mouth as he pulled back. I mean, if she's the kind not to resist when being drowned, she'd probably not resist being force-fed a chicken bone, right?

I have dozens of other tips for killing people on a plane, in case you're wondering.
Posted by kingmonkey in Athens, Ontario on 01/02/09 at 11:35 AM
Hey Kingmonkey,
He probably could have choked her with the airline food, but didn't want to spend $10 on a hot pocket. And you should probably lay low for a couple of weeks, Homeland Security is probably looking for you (Now that you openly admitted to knowing how to kill people on a plane).
Posted by Matt in Florida on 01/02/09 at 12:27 PM
Luckily, being Canadian, I only have to worry about the Mounties coming to get me. As long as I stay upstairs, their horses can't reach me.
I'm a travel agent, so I know all the airlines that still serve regular meals. It's all part of "Plan Epsilon".
Posted by kingmonkey in Athens, Ontario on 01/02/09 at 12:56 PM
VM--that's a noble attempt on your part to earn a No-Prize. But note how the woman is kneeling. Not generally a position one associates with using a wash basin!
Posted by Paul on 01/02/09 at 04:17 PM
That would explain the weird skylight ON AN AIRPLANE! Geez, Paul has made fools of us all.
Posted by Brent in trepid on 01/04/09 at 07:38 PM
I'm formally requesting an apology from management for this fiasco.
Posted by Brent in trepid on 01/05/09 at 12:31 PM
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