Weird Universe Archive

August 2008

August 21, 2008

Worst. Crackers. Ever!

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Posted By: Paul - Thu Aug 21, 2008 - Comments (20)
Category: Animals, Business, Products, Food, Inventions, Stupidity, 1960s

Six Faces of FATE

Please enjoy this imagery from one of the spiritual ancestors of WEIRD UNIVERSE, FATE MAGAZINE.






More in extended >>

Posted By: Paul - Thu Aug 21, 2008 - Comments (11)
Category: Art, Eccentrics, Forteana, Magazines, Paranormal, Pop Culture, Unsolved Mysteries, 1950s, Yesterday’s Tomorrows

Chuck’s Hand-Picked Overnight Weird News for Thursday

The giant boy who had all of his teeth when he was 4 months old
ABC-TV's Medical Mysteries show Tuesday night was about Brenden Adams, 12, who is huge, and doctors couldn't figure out why he grew so fast. Four yrs ago, they discovered a chromosomal abnormality (perhaps the only one yet found in anyone) that allows unrestrained growth. They slowed Brenden down a bit with massive testosterone therapy, but he's still a medical handful. [Ed.: They really can't explain the chromosome screwup? Here's a clue: He lives in Ellensburg, Wash., about 30 miles from the massive Hanford nuclear dump. Duh-uh.] ABC News
Comments 'brenden_adams'

It's good to be a British prisoner (continuing series)
Ian Brady, perhaps the most famous British murderer of the 20th century, is 70 yrs old and getting cantankerous. He complained that the psychiatric inmates in his prison hospital still qualify for £100/week gov't benefits, while prisoner-type inmates there are limited to £25. [Ed.: Let's see, £25, $50, $2600/year; hey, Alex; hey, Paul, I'm afraid Ashworth Hospital's more lucrative than Weird Universe!]
Daily Mail (London) // Wikipedia (Ian Brady)
Comments 'ian_brady'

The District of Calamity (continuing series)
The latest from America's most dysfunctional municipal gov't is that four police detectives with an open case on a man possibly seriously beaten and in the hospital failed to match up a missing-relative report on him for more than a month. (Bonus: The "ombudsman" that finally contacted the man's family was, er, the office of Councilman Marion Barry.) It was the worst of three incidents this year in which the gov't failed to notify relatives when missing persons showed up. Washington Post
Comments 'calamity_missing'

When a pervert thinks big
Jeremy Noyes, 30, Erie, Pa., a student at Lake Erie College of Osteopathic Medicine, was charged by the FBI with having child porn and planning to bring a New Zealand woman and her urchin to the U.S. to start a sex-slave society. He'd start impregnating the urchin when she was old enough, and she'd pump out the future slaves for him. Associated Press via MSNBC // TheSmokingGun.com
Comments 'jeremy_noyes'

Having that stroke was the best thing that ever happened to him
Britain's Ken Walters said that. He had been on a 20-yr downturn after a spinal injury, and then the stroke, and suddenly he acquired a great artist's hand and eye and now sells complex graphics to the EA computer game people. Doctors said the brain always scrambles around after a stroke to try to rewire itself and that Walters's wires somehow wound up in a better place than before (at least artistically, because Walters isn't revealing any other consequences of the stroke). Daily Mail (London)
Comments 'stroke_artist'

Update on Todd Bentley
It now turns out that preacher Todd Bentley (in NOTW M071 this week and noted in this space on Monday) is doing more than closing down his Lakeland, Fla., crusade. He needs to go heal, himself, after pulling a John Edwards with a staff member. No, check that: According to the ministry, it was just an "unhealthy relationship on an emotional level," with "no sexual immorality." National Post (Toronto)
Comments 'bentley_update'

Update on Bigfoot
Well, jeez, it's official now: The Bigfoot show last Friday in Palo Alto, Calif. (mentioned here) was just your run-of-the-mill scam job. Oh, Loren! You vouched for them! Say it ain't so! WeirdUniverse dot net is . . disappointed. Fox News
Comments 'bigfoot_update'

Your Daily Loser
A 12-yr-old boy in Tipton, England, clearly unskilled at life, was hospitalized with "18 percent burns" to the backs of his legs resulting from a fart-lighting contest with his cousin. (A gas can was close by.) Daily Telegraph
Comments 'fart_lighting'

People Whose Sex Lives Are Worse Than Yours
We acknowledge the unknown man who three times drove up to the window of an espresso stand in Parkland, Wash., recently, naked, or wearing a bra, or with panties on his head, fondling himself. The third time he came by, the by-now-annoyed barista tossed a cup of boiling water on him. And all he said was, "Ooooh, yeah." KIRO-TV (Seattle)
Comments 'barista_boiling'

Your Daily Jury Duty (I)
[no fair examining the evidence; verdict must be based on mugshot only]
Former Kentucky gubernatorial candidate Otis Hensley Jr., 52, might just be misunderstood, in that he may not be the kind of man who would try to entice 11- and 13-yr-old girls (but leave the facts out of this!) Lexington Herald-Leader
Comments 'otis_hensley'

Your Daily Jury Duty (II)
[no fair examining the evidence; verdict must be based on mugshot only]
Danny Dukinfield, 47, might be guilty of following a schoolgirl home (while he was wearing a woman's girdle and skirt). Or, maybe he didn't do that. Arizona Daily Star
Comments 'danny_dukinfield'

More Things to Worry About on Thursday
Another Texan will walk the last mile tonight for just being an accomplice (waiting in the car) whose partner killed the victim in a robbery, and the appeals court and pardon board have officially shrugged . . . . . In what could be Texas's sister prison system (Afghanistan's), more than half of all female inmates are there only because they "had sex" even though it was from rape (Bonus: Most are serving around 20 yrs!) . . . . . A self-described "anti-feminist" New York City man sued Columbia University for putting all that feminist claptrap into impressionable students' minds (Bonus: He declined to tell a reporter his age because revealing that might hinder his chances of picking up younger chicks around town) . . . . . A new dimension in "jury nullification": "Awwwww, we don't wanna be on this jury" (result: mistrial) . . . . . The town of Thetford Mines, Quebec, canceled its annual chicken massacre contest, which is like the ol' cow-chip bingo contests, but you chop a chicken's head off and take bets on which square of the grid it dies on . . . . . Upping the ante on the sloppiness of the gov't's "no-fly" list: "James Robinson"'s on it, even the James Robinson who's a commercial airline pilot authorized to pack heat in the cockpit. Today's Newsrangers: Jessica McRorie, Joe Littrell, Mark Neunder, Scott Langill, John Holsinger, Bob Pert, Jerry Whittle, Dan Bennett
Comments 'worry_080821'

Editor's Notes
(1) Where are all those global-warming scientists when you need them, y'know, the ones that say their computer models know exactly what will happen 50 yrs out? All I know is that as of about noon Eastern on Sunday, Tropical Storm Fay was preferred-modeled to directly hit Tampa Bay around 2 p.m. Tuesday. Not only did Fay do-sa-do around Tampa, but the first drop of rain of the entire week here fell at 6 p.m. Wednesday. (2) August malaise schedule, again: Chuck's Hand-Picked Overnights coming up tomorrow, and next Monday and Wednesday, and after that, we'll see.
Comments 'editors_080821'

Posted By: Chuck - Thu Aug 21, 2008 - Comments (0)
Category:

August 20, 2008

Poo-Pourri

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There are no words for this.

Posted By: Paul - Wed Aug 20, 2008 - Comments (13)
Category: Business, Products, Domestic, Hygiene, Excrement, Inventions, Scatology

Sonic Boom Simulation Chamber

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During the 1960s NASA sponsored research into the effect of sonic booms on human subjects. This was in response to growing concern about "the nature of the boom phenomena" as supersonic aircraft were flying with increasing frequency. Shown in the picture is one subject (unidentified) about to be locked inside the "Sonic Boom Simulation Chamber."

I like the juxtaposition of the prim-and-proper woman and the massive audio system. Unfortunately there aren't any pictures of what she looked like after being repeatedly blasted with simulated sonic booms.

The image comes from NASA Contractor Report CR-1192, "Relative Annoyance and Loudness Judgments of Various Simulated Sonic Boom Waveforms."

Posted By: Alex - Wed Aug 20, 2008 - Comments (2)
Category: Science, Experiments, Technology

The Portland Acupuncture Project

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Artist Adam Kuby wants to heal Portland -- by using acupuncture. He would literally stick giant needles into the ground at various sites around the city. He writes:

Think of the city as a body the way traditional Chinese medicine does-- not only as a physical entity but also as a system of energy that flows in distinct pathways called meridians. The energy, or Qi, needs to be in balance. If a person's Qi is out of balance, disease can set in. The same could be true for a city. This project explores the junction between art, regional planning, the environment, asian medicine and the health of a city. A single 23 ft tall acupuncture needle was inserted at the South Waterfront for the month of March. A city-wide installation of many such needles is possible in the future.

Kuby has a bunch of photoshopped pictures on his site showing what his project would look like, should it ever be completed.

Some of his other art proposals are interesting. For instance, I like his "Cliff Dwelling" idea, which would involve adding an artificial rock ledge to the side of a skyscraper as a nesting place for peregrine falcons. People could watch the birds from inside the building, but unlike a zoo the birds would be free while the humans would be confined. (Thanks to Cranky Media Guy)

Posted By: Alex - Wed Aug 20, 2008 - Comments (1)
Category: Art, Medicine, Regionalism

The Weirdest Tattoos

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This is surely a book that will appeal to the WU crowd. A compilation of the worst tats ever inked. If this sample is representative, we're in for a treat.


Posted By: Paul - Wed Aug 20, 2008 - Comments (16)
Category: Body Modifications, Tattoos, Stupidity, Books

Cornman

When every legitimate superhero property has finally been brought to the screen, perhaps we'll see a remake of CORNMAN.

Posted By: Paul - Wed Aug 20, 2008 - Comments (12)
Category: Food, Humor, Parody, Movies, Science Fiction, Superheroes

Hurricane Fun

I joked earlier on the blog about waterspouts lifting a swimmer off to Oz.

Well, yesterday down in Chuck Shepherd country it practically happened.

Posted By: Paul - Wed Aug 20, 2008 - Comments (7)
Category: Flight, Hospitals, Nature, Weather, Sports, Stupidity

Super Cows

These cows have to be seen to be believed. I wouldn't want to be in their sights should one of them decide to attack. Though it doesn't look like they could move very fast.

Posted By: Alex - Wed Aug 20, 2008 - Comments (0)
Category: Science, Cows

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Who We Are
Alex Boese
Alex is the creator and curator of the Museum of Hoaxes. He's also the author of various weird, non-fiction books such as Elephants on Acid.

Paul Di Filippo
Paul has been paid to put weird ideas into fictional form for over thirty years, in his career as a noted science fiction writer. He has recently begun blogging on many curious topics with three fellow writers at The Inferior 4+1.

Chuck Shepherd
Chuck is the purveyor of News of the Weird, the syndicated column which for decades has set the gold-standard for reporting on oddities and the bizarre.

Our banner was drawn by the legendary underground cartoonist Rick Altergott.

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