Weird Universe Archive

November 2010

November 15, 2010

News of the Weird / Pro Edition (November 15, 2010)

News of the Weird/Pro Edition
You're Still Not Cynical Enough

Prime Cuts of Underreported News from Last Week, Hand-Picked and Lightly Seasoned by Chuck Shepherd
November 15, 2010
(datelines November 6-November 13) (links correct as of November 15)

Woman's Best Friend, Plus Bunga-Bunga, Leg of Greyhound, and Dachshund Sausages

★ ★ ★ ★!

Dildonic Euphemisms: In this Illinois police report, it's known as a "rigid feminine pleasure device," but in Alabama, it's a "bona fide medical, scientific, educational, legislative, judicial, or law enforcement" instrument (because if it's for "pleasure," it's illegal). And now, in Huntsville, Ala., you can buy it from the drive-thru window. The Smoking Gun [police report] /// Huntsville Times

"'Bunga-Bunga' Batters Berlusconi": [Nope, I don't know, either. He picked it up from Khaddafi. Something like an "orgy." Something to do with "Ruby The Heartbreaker." All I know is that a lot of Italians are embarrassed.] Newsweek

Don't Even Consider Seeing Someone Behind My Back!: (If she just thinks about doing it, even though she doesn't do it, he can legally have the marriage annulled.) Daily Telegraph (London)

Wrath of the Teaps: The wisdom of having a self-governing republic is being tested in Scottsdale, Ariz., where the Tea Party people are at war with the Fountain Hills Town Council over . . curbside trash pickup. The Teaps demand their own trash haulers--because, after all, any company with a ewwww! "government" contract could be monitoring your rubbish. Arizona Republic

Leading Economic Indicator: Jon "Neverdie" Jacobs, who has probably spent more hours in the Entropia Universe game than you've spent on any non-sleep activity, registered the sale of his make-believe resort on the make-believe asteroid Planet Calypso for $635,000 in make-believe dollars real U.S. dollars. He paid $100,000 for it in 2005. Apparently, word of our 2008 economy-collapse has yet to reach Planet Calypso. Blog.Games.Yahoo.com

Pick-Up Artist: Phillip Greaves, 47, flamed out after one hectic week with his e-book, The Pedophile's Guide to Love and Pleasure: A Child Lover's Code of Conduct," which shot up on Amazon from one sale to several thousand at $4.79 before Amazon yanked it down (after initially defending it as free speech). Surprisingly . . it turns out Greaves had some psychological issues growing up and as an adult--although he says the book is his contribution to child safety, in that he wants pedos to start acting responsibly when their libido overruns their governors. Greaves: "[T]he best advice I can give a pedophile is accept that masturbation is your best friend." The Smoking Gun

Wrong Bowen Slapped: "[W]hite bitch" teacher slapped a black fourth-grade boy, and Momma went nuts, litigiously speaking, demanding nearly forty pages' worth of precise reparations, plus $1.25 million cash. [Excuse me, Ms. Bowen, but could it be that you might be taking this a little too far?] "Kiss my entire black ass!!!!!! I haven't begun to go far enough!!!!!!!!" [OK, yes, ma'm, thank you.] (Bonus: The names "Curtis Bowen" [kid] and "Lisa Henry Bowen" [Momma] are Copyright 2010.) Pitch Weekly (Kansas City)



More in extended >>

Posted By: Chuck - Mon Nov 15, 2010 - Comments (10)
Category:

College Sports

Q: What costs $38,000 a year and gives you the opportunity to run around with a broomstick between your legs?
A: A year at Harvard!



More in extended >>

Posted By: Expat47 - Mon Nov 15, 2010 - Comments (3)
Category:

November 14, 2010

Weird Converter

Don't you hate it when you can't remember how many Weinermobiles it would take to get to the top of the Empire State Building, or how many Shaquille O'Niels would line up along the Golden Gate Bridge? What about when you need to know how many cubic inches of air one million dollars weighs, or baby grand pianos to Airbus A380s? Or maybe you are planning a party and need to know how many human stomachs a keg of beer will fill, or you're just curious how many Space Shuttle liquid oxygen tanks it would take to fill the Grand Canyon?

Well, if you've ever had those problems, you are in luck. Go check out the Weird Converter and convert unusual units of height, weight, and volume to your heart's content.

Posted By: Salamander Sam - Sun Nov 14, 2010 - Comments (24)
Category: Tools

November 13, 2010

A Public Service Announcement


Party Etiquette:
How To Grind

Posted By: Paul - Sat Nov 13, 2010 - Comments (5)
Category:

November 12, 2010

How To Destroy A Classic

THE THREE LITTLE PIGS
The vegetarian wolf has a heart attack, the pigs perform CPR and let him move in with them. Read a two page excerpt from the nauseatingly PC version at the link. Oh and this new version appears in a 4th grade text book, how wonderful.

Posted By: patty - Fri Nov 12, 2010 - Comments (9)
Category:

Follies of the Mad Men #125



1) Our food product is so dense and indestructible that it can serve in place of a football.

2) It is not sold on merits of taste, but simply as a "bulking-up" agent.

Posted By: Paul - Fri Nov 12, 2010 - Comments (2)
Category: Business, Advertising, Products, Food, Sports, 1960s

November 11, 2010

Ants Nest Filled with Cement and Excavated

According to this cool video, ants built the equivalent of the Great Wall of China by moving tons of dirt. After filling the ant hill with cement it is excavated. Though the screen shot looks like a giant spider, the colored blobs are people standing in the structure.


Giant Ant Colony is a World Wonder - Watch more Funny Videos

Now if I could just find out what this clip was from and where the colony is -- I would love to visit it.

Posted By: gdanea - Thu Nov 11, 2010 - Comments (10)
Category: Insects and Spiders

Superdog!


Ukrainian Parkour Dog - Watch more Funny Videos

This animal is plainly a mutant, or product of genetic engineering!

Posted By: Paul - Thu Nov 11, 2010 - Comments (5)
Category: Dogs, Natural Wonders

Real Life Urban Legend


In Seneca, South Carolina a nude man was arrested for breaking and entering. Said individual resisted arrest, and was unfased by a taser shot. After being subdued he was taken to the hospital as police suspected he was under the influence of mushrooms (not the kind you put on pizza). Upon examination it was discovered *drum roll* that the guy had a mouse up his rectum.

Update: Thanks to all my WU friends for catching the rest of the story, a computer mouse not a live mouse was involved.

Posted By: patty - Thu Nov 11, 2010 - Comments (14)
Category:

Stuffed Bacon


My First Bacon, starting kid's love of bacon early! Its huggable and it even talks!

Posted By: patty - Thu Nov 11, 2010 - Comments (3)
Category:

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Who We Are
Alex Boese
Alex is the creator and curator of the Museum of Hoaxes. He's also the author of various weird, non-fiction books such as Elephants on Acid.

Paul Di Filippo
Paul has been paid to put weird ideas into fictional form for over thirty years, in his career as a noted science fiction writer. He has recently begun blogging on many curious topics with three fellow writers at The Inferior 4+1.

Chuck Shepherd
Chuck is the purveyor of News of the Weird, the syndicated column which for decades has set the gold-standard for reporting on oddities and the bizarre.

Our banner was drawn by the legendary underground cartoonist Rick Altergott.

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