Weird Universe Archive

January 2011

January 10, 2011

News of the Weird / Pro Edition (January 10, 2011)

News of the Weird/Pro Edition
You're Still Not Cynical Enough

Prime Cuts of Underreported News from Last Week, Hand-Picked and Lightly Seasoned by Chuck Shepherd
January 10, 2011
(datelines January 1-January 8) (links correct as of January 10)

Spy Vultures and Surveillance Teeth, Plus Holy Water from the Spigot and Colon-as-Roach-Motel

★ ★ ★ ★!

The "Fog of Intelligence," Indeed: Saudis found a GPS device inside a suspicious vulture, which they automatically concluded was a secret Mossad (Israeli) agent. Iran detained a 55-year-old Arab-American woman crossing over from Armenia without a passport because, they said, a microphone was discovered in her teeth. (Last month, recall, Egyptians were all fertoutst at Mossad's wiliness for allegedly sending attack sharks down the Red Sea.) BBC News /// Los Angeles Times /// BBC News

Medical Research Marches On: A.R. Kumar, M.D., and his colleagues at Albert Einstein Medical Center in Philadelphia were trying hard to diagnose the patient (suspected colorectal cancer) when, according to their journal article, they glanced at the scans and saw a cockroach crawling up the patient's traverse colon. Endoscopy via Thieme eJournals

Not My Fault: Two-by-Four Paul Stone has filed a lawsuit against Britain's National Health Service, claiming they owe him big-time because, back when he weighed only 420 lbs., he asked for help, and idiotic doctors had the audacity to advise him to eat sensibly and exercise. He became so distraught at their insensitivity that he quickly inflated to 980 (though his recent gastric surgery left him at a svelte 518). Of course there are photos at the link, but they are Not Safe For Stomachs. The Sun (London)]

No One Lives Forever, Except Martha Kunkle: Mortgage lenders took two hits last week in Massachusetts's highest court for their casual protocols on mass-documenting of loans during the housing madness of the last decade. Then, the Wall Street Journal found a similar issue with the debt collector Portfolio Recovery Associates, whose continuing paperwork as recently as 2008 was vouched for and signed off on by "Martha Kunkle," who unfortunately had died in 1995--presumably with no inkling of her eventual immortality. Wall Street Journal

Kids Today! Why, in My Day, We Knew Better!: Take Kyndric Wilson, 19, for example, arrested in Fort Walton Beach, Fla., on a minor charge. He had two felonies added at the jailhouse door because he apparently thought he'd need to bring some cocaine in with him to deal with the rigors of lockup. As he belatedly lamented, "[Expletive], I knew I shouldn't of [sic] brought that in . . . [expletive]." Northwest Florida Daily News



More in extended >>

Posted By: Chuck - Mon Jan 10, 2011 - Comments (5)
Category:

January 9, 2011

Alex’s New Book!

image

You can't buy it yet, but here's the cover of Alex's new book!

If you visit the Amazon link, you can at least reserve your copy now!

Posted By: Paul - Sun Jan 09, 2011 - Comments (2)
Category: Authorities and Experts, Weird Studies and Guides, Weird Theory, Books, Alex

January 8, 2011

Brazilian ATM Robbery



Subtle they ain't.....

Posted By: Paul - Sat Jan 08, 2011 - Comments (4)
Category: Crime, South America

January 7, 2011

The Deep



Remember PES, the fellow who did the video of humping furniture....

Posted By: Paul - Fri Jan 07, 2011 - Comments (5)
Category: Anthropomorphism, Fish, Stop-motion Animation

A Note from Chuck Shepherd

Well, that didn't last long, did it?

I started the New Year intending to go full bore for another year on a long-form News of the Weird / Pro Edition, including a weekly Weird 2.0, but, y'know, things happen, and plans change. Rather than be "ambitious but inconsistent," I now plan to be "predictable but lower-key."

Consequently, News of the Weird / Pro Edition will happen every Monday, lower-key, and the truth is, you'll probably like it more than the Pro Edition's I've been turning out (briefer, better editing), even though it will be less fun for me, at least on those weeks when I have the time to wallow in the news. (I am still afflicted with attacks of grandiose wallowing; it's an issue.)

[FULL DISCLOSURE: Chuck wrote this post only because he is so anal-retentive that he feels the need to explain himself every time he is inconsistent, even though he realizes that normal people actually tolerate moderate inconsistencies pretty well.]

Posted By: Chuck - Fri Jan 07, 2011 - Comments (6)
Category:

Harsh Revenge


Terry Allen Lester got turned in by his ex-roommates for building an explosive device. No, he's not a terrorist, just a disgruntled ex-boyfriend. The device was a dildo filled with black powder. BBs and buck shot. It was rigged for the battery to trigger it. OUCH!

Posted By: patty - Fri Jan 07, 2011 - Comments (4)
Category:

January 6, 2011

Bad Uke Music





Question: does the ukulele actually inspire bad music, or merely facilitate it?



Posted By: Paul - Thu Jan 06, 2011 - Comments (3)
Category: Fey, Twee, Whimsical, Naive and Sadsack, Ineptness, Crudity, Talentlessness, Kitsch, and Bad Art, Music

January 5, 2011

How Do You Do



"Frank's new in town--he's smooth!"

Posted By: Paul - Wed Jan 05, 2011 - Comments (4)
Category: Etiquette and Formal Behavior, Teenagers, 1940s

January 4, 2011

Follies of the Mad Men #130



Caution: bare bums.

Posted By: Paul - Tue Jan 04, 2011 - Comments (6)
Category:

News of the Weird/Weird 2.0 (1-4-2011)

Weird 2.0
January 4, 2011
by Chuck Shepherd

[Weird 2.0: No perverts, no drunks, no stupid criminals. Worse!]

"To see what is in front of one's nose requires a constant struggle"—George Orwell
"A little learning is a dangerous thing"—Alexander Pope
"Nero Fiddles While Rome Burns"—Rome Daily Inquirer, 7-18-64A.D.


Pat Robertson accidentally faced reality, concluding on his 700 Club that America's anti-marijuana laws are fercockta. "I'm not exactly for the use of drugs, don't get me wrong, but I just believe that criminalizing marijuana, criminalizing the possession of a few ounces of pot, that kinda thing, it's just, it's costing us a fortune and it's ruining young people. . . . That's not a good thing." Los Angeles Times

Another Black Helicopter Theory Dies: A big field of old Russian and Eastern bloc trucks piled up in Mississippi means, obviously, that then-President Clinton was selling us out to the United Nations! No other explanation! Patriots . . lock and load! Turns out it was part of a failed business venture in young Russia after the fall of communism, and the idea (as well as the trucks) have now died of old age. But, boy, in their time, the presence of those trucks caused a lot of people to buy more camo. New York Times

Government Accountability Office took an official position on the federal government's finances . . er, an official position that no official position was possible: (1) Department of Defense is "inauditable." (2) No reconciliation is possible among interagency activities. (3) There's too much fudging of Uncle Sam's projected assets and liabilities. TaxProf Blog



More in extended >>

Posted By: Chuck - Tue Jan 04, 2011 - Comments (4)
Category:

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Who We Are
Alex Boese
Alex is the creator and curator of the Museum of Hoaxes. He's also the author of various weird, non-fiction books such as Elephants on Acid.

Paul Di Filippo
Paul has been paid to put weird ideas into fictional form for over thirty years, in his career as a noted science fiction writer. He has recently begun blogging on many curious topics with three fellow writers at The Inferior 4+1.

Chuck Shepherd
Chuck is the purveyor of News of the Weird, the syndicated column which for decades has set the gold-standard for reporting on oddities and the bizarre.

Our banner was drawn by the legendary underground cartoonist Rick Altergott.

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