Category:
Patents

Combination Pillow and Crash Helmet

"The device thus formed is useful as a courtesy pillow for the comfort of airline passengers, and doubles as a crash helmet which may be put over the head of the passenger when he is forewarned of an impending crash landing."

More info: Patent No. 3,538,508

Posted By: Alex - Sat Sep 23, 2023 - Comments (0)
Category: Patents, Air Travel and Airlines, 1970s

Suction-Cup Scalp Nipples for Holding a Wig in Place

The illustration shows adhesive anchoring, but he does say suction cups are an option!

Full patent here.



Posted By: Paul - Wed Sep 20, 2023 - Comments (0)
Category: Wigs, Hairpieces, Fake Eyelashes, Implants, and other Prosthetics, Patents, 1920s, Head

Automatic Cat Litter Box—Under Cat’s Control

I detect one small flaw in this concept, hidden in the phrase "the cat is trained..."

Full patent here.



Posted By: Paul - Sun Sep 10, 2023 - Comments (0)
Category: Patents, Excrement, Cats, 1960s

Clipboard Gun

The justification for this clipboard gun was that it would allow police officers to approach stopped vehicles looking as if they were holding a clipboard, not a gun.

The problem that I see is that it wouldn't take long for the public to realize that the clipboards were actually guns. In which case, even if a police officer was genuinely only carrying a clipboard, everyone would assume it was a gun.

More info: Patent No. 4,016,666



Posted By: Alex - Tue Aug 29, 2023 - Comments (2)
Category: Police and Other Law Enforcement, Patents, 1970s, Weapons

Anti-Bulbsnatcher Device

This post is partially a tribute to the end of the incandescent bulb, after its long and glorious reign.

For many years, GE conducted an ad campaign to discourage people from moving lightbulbs around from one fixture to another in a lazy manner, instead of always having a closetful of replacement bulbs. If only GE had invested in the patent which follows these ads, for a device that would not allow a bulb to be unscrewed with breaking it.







Full patent here.





Posted By: Paul - Tue Aug 22, 2023 - Comments (0)
Category: Domestic, Inventions, Patents, Technology, 1930s

Bank Robber Immobilizing Vestibule

So near as I can interpret this patent, in front of every bank teller's window is erected a revolving-door chamber. The customer--or robber--must enter the chamber, which revolves shut behind him. A good customer is allowed by the clerk's pressing of a switch to exit. The robber is held in place. What could go wrong?



Posted By: Paul - Thu Aug 17, 2023 - Comments (1)
Category: Crime, Inventions, Patents, Money, Innocent Bystanders, Passersby, Witnesses and Accidental Victims, 1940s

Sound-Activated Lingerie

The clapper, adapted for underwear. From the patent:

Lingerie, such as bras which are worn by females, have a fastening mechanism, such as a hook-type fastener, which is difficult to open, especially for the male counterpart. A bra according to the present invention could be made using a signal-activated fastener such that the female's boyfriend or husband could clap his hand and the bra would automatically open.



Posted By: Alex - Thu Jul 20, 2023 - Comments (4)
Category: Patents, Underwear

An orthopedic appliance to produce permanent smiles

Patented by Josephine Rountree in 1926.

I wouldn't call having this thing strapped to your face as "without inconvenience to the user."

My invention relates to orthopedic appliances and has particular reference to an appliance adapted to be worn by the user, after retiring, whereby certain facial muscles will be trained to gradually produce the permanent effect of a smile on the countenance of the person using the appliance. The primary object of the invention is to produce such an effect and to counteract the sagging of the muscles around the corners of the mouth, due in most cases to advancing years.

Another object of the invention is to provide an appliance which will gradually train the muscles at the corners of the mouth into the position assumed by the act of smiling, without inconvenience to the user.

Posted By: Alex - Sun Jul 02, 2023 - Comments (5)
Category: Beauty, Ugliness and Other Aesthetic Issues, Patents, 1920s

What does this measure?

This is obviously a measuring device of some kind. But what exactly does it measure? The answer is below in extended.



More in extended >>

Posted By: Alex - Wed Jun 14, 2023 - Comments (3)
Category: Inventions, Patents, Instruments and Measuring Devices

The Date Hat

Edward Oliveira of Newport, Rhode Island was granted a patent (#2,749,555) in 1956 for a "date hat". His idea was that, by wearing the hat, a young woman could display whether she was available for a date on a specific day. From the patent:

In high schools, colleges and the like, it is often impossible to carry on very much of a conversation during, or even between classes. Since many dates between boys and girls are most easily made when they are gathered together in school, it is a disadvantage not to be able to tell whether a girl is already dated for a particular day and hour. If a boy knew that one girl is already dated for the particular time he desires, he would quickly be able to attempt to date another girl who was not already dated. However, up to the present time, this has been difficult because, in many instances, there is not sufficient time to talk to every available girl to determine their date status. In order to remedy the above situation, it is one object of the present invention to provide an article of wearing apparel which can be set to indicate to any observer whether a girl has a date for the particular time desired.


I can see a problem with this concept. Would a young woman really want to publicly display that no one had asked her out?

Also, had Oliveira attempted to get dates by systematically asking out every girl in his school? Thus leading to his frustration that there was "not sufficient time to talk to every available girl to determine their date status."

Posted By: Alex - Thu Jun 01, 2023 - Comments (3)
Category: Patents, Headgear, 1950s, Love & Romance

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Alex Boese
Alex is the creator and curator of the Museum of Hoaxes. He's also the author of various weird, non-fiction, science-themed books such as Elephants on Acid and Psychedelic Apes.

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Paul has been paid to put weird ideas into fictional form for over thirty years, in his career as a noted science fiction writer. He has recently begun blogging on many curious topics with three fellow writers at The Inferior 4+1.

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