Category:
Shoes

Just Some Weird Crap!

A New York jeweller briefly owned the world’s most valuable pet earlier this year when his golden retriever swallowed a $20,000 diamond by mistake. Sollie, the dog, had accompanied his owner George Kaufman to the latter’s jewellery shop where Mr. Kaufman and his partner were intending to inspect some gemstones. Unfortunately a diamond weighing 3 carats fell to the floor where it was immediately snatched up by Sollie and swallowed. After a vet recommended that nature be allowed to take its course, Kaufman spent the next three days carefully collecting and dissecting everything Sollie produced before finally retrieving the gem (Telegraph).

Perhaps he should have contacted Ireland’s first official dog-waste removal company, Mr. Scoopy-Poo. The brainchild of Irish entrepreneur William O’Brian, Mr. Scoopy-Poo (motto, “Business stinks – but it’s picking up!”) will clean up after your dirty dogs into biodegradable bags and hygienically dispose of them, for a price of course. After all, where there’s muck there’s brass, and occasionally diamonds (Irish Examiner).

But O’Brian may be missing a trick here, why dispose of faeces when you could be selling it as the latest must have fashion item? What sounds like insanity may be an idea whose time has come. How else can you explain not one but two manure-based products in the same week?

First up is London based artist and designer INSA, who has produced a pair of 10” stilettos incorporating elephant dung. And this isn’t just dung from any old elephant either, this is dung from the very same elephant family that produced the infamous extra ingredient for a series of paintings made by artist Chris Ofili in the 90s. Yup, in these shoes you are literally standing on celebrity elephant dung (Huffington Post).

And hot on the precipitous heels of INSA is Geneva based watchmaker Yvan Arpa, who has crafted his latest $11,000 wrist-candy from toad skin and dinosaur doo. The watches, to be made and sold by Swiss watchmakers Artya, feature a face cut from a 100 million year-old “coprolite”, or fossil faeces, left behind by an ancient plant-eater in what is now the United States. And the quality American materials don’t just amount to a pretty face as the strap is lovingly crafted from the hide of an American cane toad. The mechanism though is pure Swiss craftsmanship (Star Tribune).

Image: Maggie Smith / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Posted By: Dumbfounded - Tue Mar 16, 2010 - Comments (4)
Category: Animals, Design and Designers, Fashion, Shoes, Pets, Dogs, Excrement

How to Be Well-Groomed



The birth of the Metro-sexual......

Poor Sue and her stubby hands!

Posted By: Paul - Wed Feb 03, 2010 - Comments (2)
Category: Fashion, Hair Styling, Shoes, Teenagers, Documentaries, 1940s

Fifty-Pound Boots

An advance in penal technology that never caught on. I found this in the San Antonio Evening News, Nov 3, 1922:

Fifty-Pound Boots to Hold Criminals
Shod with the fifty-pound "Oregon" boot of metal, dangerous criminals have little, if any, chance of escaping by making a desperate dash for liberty, especially while on long railroad journeys in the custody of an officer of the law.
This shackling device is adapted from the old ball and chain, which it is to supercede. It consists of a steel frame work that fits over the shoe in the manner shown in the accompanying illustration. The "upper" is finished off as a fifty-pound collar.
A prisoner thus shod is able to walk but slowly and with some comfort. However, if he should make any attempt to escape by running, the heavy metal collar of the boot, it is claimed, will break his leg.

Posted By: Alex - Wed Apr 22, 2009 - Comments (7)
Category: Prisons, Shoes

One-Shoe Movies

"Droppedit" is a man who knows exactly what he likes, and that is "movie and TV scenes in which women happen to lose their shoes." I think it's fair to say that his catalog of such scenes (with accompanying pics) will never be equaled.

Posted By: Alex - Sun Apr 19, 2009 - Comments (4)
Category: Movies, Obsessions, Fetishes, Shoes

Follies of the Mad Men #62

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[From Playboy magazine for September 1971.]

Please parse the logic here for me. We'll use feminism to sell ugly shoes for men? I just don't get it....

Posted By: Paul - Mon Apr 06, 2009 - Comments (8)
Category: Business, Advertising, Products, Fashion, Shoes, Feminism, 1970s

Follies of the Mad Men #50

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What image could possibly be great enough for our milestone fiftieth installment? Only this one!

At one time, during either the seventies or the eighties, I believe, this campaign was ubiquitous. I would run across OJ and his boots in every issue of Playboy I intended to cut up for collages, whereupon I would promptly rip out the page intact and mail it to a friend. That's why I had to find a scan on eBay, for this post, and can't tell you the exact provenance of the advertisement.

Of course, today we laugh because of OJ's appearance. "So that's how he was able to escape so fast after the murders! He deployed his third leg!"

But consider the campaign even without OJ.

First you get the off-color allusion to "third leg = penis." Then you get the Addams-Family-style associations of "Our boots are worn by mutants and freaks."

Brilliant!

Posted By: Paul - Wed Dec 10, 2008 - Comments (7)
Category: Business, Advertising, Products, Celebrities, Death, Fashion, Shoes, Law, Lawsuits, Sports, Scary Criminals, Stupid Criminals, 1970s, 1980s

Follies of the Mad Men #48

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[From Life magazine for March 5 1956. Two separate scans, picture and text.]

"And they come with matching panties, as you can plainly see!"

Posted By: Paul - Mon Dec 01, 2008 - Comments (2)
Category: Business, Advertising, Fashion, Shoes, Teenagers, 1950s

Follies of the Mad Men #44

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[From Life magazine for September 30 1940.]

Either a 20th-century man's shoe has been transported through time back to pre-Columbian America, confounding the primitive redksins, or else some 20th-century Native Americans on some especially traditional and cloistered reservation somewhere are incredibly ignorant.

Or, some Madison Avenue genius thought this was brilliant.

Posted By: Paul - Mon Nov 17, 2008 - Comments (4)
Category: Business, Advertising, Products, Fashion, Shoes, Anthropology, 1940s, Time-travel, Native Americans

Spring Heel Shoe

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These ridiculous shoes come in many different styles at the J. Rubio website. I saw a guy wearing a pair when I was passing through an airport recently, and he looked like the dorkiest dork that ever dorked.

The verdict is still out, however, on whether wearing them will turn you into the mythic monster known as Spring-heeled Jack.

Posted By: Paul - Wed Oct 22, 2008 - Comments (14)
Category: Fashion, Shoes, Flight, Human Marvels, Stupidity, Technology, Fictional Monsters

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Who We Are
Alex Boese
Alex is the creator and curator of the Museum of Hoaxes. He's also the author of various weird, non-fiction, science-themed books such as Elephants on Acid and Psychedelic Apes.

Paul Di Filippo
Paul has been paid to put weird ideas into fictional form for over thirty years, in his career as a noted science fiction writer. He has recently begun blogging on many curious topics with three fellow writers at The Inferior 4+1.

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