Everyone who sees you says, fascinating face
Heavens, what a figure and, goodness me, what grace
Everyone who meets you must lose his heart, I find
Then he's sure to lose his mind
You're as pleasant as the morning
And refreshing as the rain
Isn't it a pity that you're such a scatterbrain
When you smile it's so delightful
When you talk it's so insane
Still it's charming chatter, scatterbrain
I know I'll end up apoplectic
But there's nothing I can do
It's just the same as being in a hurricane
And though my life will be too hectic
I'm so much in love with you
Nothing else can matter
You're my darling scatterbrain
You're as gay as New Year parties
You're as sweet as sugarcane
But when you get serious, you're such a scatterbrain
When we dance I think it's heaven
Till about the third refrain
Then you start your patter, scatterbrain
Perhaps I'm much too analytic
But I'm up the well-known tree
I've tried to understand your double-talk in vain
Yet, won't you please forgive your critic
'Cause you mean so much to me
Nothing else can matter
You're my darling scatterbrain
In a move that would have fit right into the movie Dumb and Dumber, two young men were caught shoplifting... from a store full of more than sixty uniformed police officers. The annual 'Shop With A Cop' event in Portland marks the beginning of the school year as the officers take dozens of needy children to a local store to purchase school supplies. Store security notified the police that the two men were stuffing their backpacks with items. The men stated "we thought the police would be distracted." You can read more about it here.
Chuck might get an entire week's worth of material from this. Mischief makers, thefts, bear costumes, calling 911 because she was hungry, disturbances, one animal complaint after another, suspicious situations and more! I just want to say that after reading this police blotter from Cleveland, Ohio's Sun Star Courier, I feel much better about myself, and the small town in which I live.
(The image is from the July, 1946 issue of Popular Science.)
If you live in Lake County, Colorado, the last thing you want to do is get hurt. Or have your house catch on fire. Why? Because the current Lake County sheriff, Ed Holte, is using the county's emergency services as a political tool. Even going so far as to instruct dispatchers to send sheriff's deputies to all emergency calls first, including medical and fire calls. The situation came to a head when the captain of the fire department, Dan Dailey, was handcuffed and placed in a cell while responding to an emergency medical call. Read the article for more.
Every so often you come across an article in the news that leaves you shaking your head and wondering what the world is coming to. This is one of those stories. Joan Higgens, aged 66, a pet shop owner in northern England has been fined, given a curfew and electronically tagged, because she sold a goldfish to a fourteen year old. Apparently it is illegal to sell pets to anyone under the age of sixteen, as minors are deemed incapable of taking care of the animals.
Police in North Vernon, Indiana say it is obvious this man had a death wish. That may not be so uncommon for men his age and perhaps in his profession, but he accomplished it in a very disturbing fashion. I've followed the events in The North Vernon Plain Dealer & Sun, but I do find it somewhat unnerving that the story is making the rounds through many newspapers in central and southern Indiana, as I fear widespread dissemination of the story may open the door to copycats. UPDATE: Meth, unsuprisingly, played a role. Greensburg Daily News
Unrelated bonus mugshot from the same paper of Nikkiah C. Weddle, a loving mother, that just appears slothful. I feel that her having smoked marijuana three weeks earlier will play a heavy role in her defense, since we've all smoked a joint that we took almost a full month to recover from.
Paul Di Filippo
Paul has been paid to put weird ideas into fictional form for over thirty years, in his career as a noted science fiction writer. He has recently begun blogging on many curious topics with three fellow writers at The Inferior 4+1.