Ads on Exams, a Piano in the Woods

and the Morning Edition of Chuck's News of the Weird Daily for Monday

Leading economic indicator: teacher selling ad space on tests
Actually, ya sympathize: A California school district cut teachers' printing budgets, forcing handout-intensive teachers to dig into their own pockets. So math teacher Kevin Change sells little blurbs on page one of the test for $20-$30 and made the nut on his printing. San Diego Union-Tribune
Comments 'exam_adspace'

It's Good to Be a British Prisoner (continuing series)
The comedy workshops at Whitemoor Prison, going on since 1998, have been canceled, as Justice Minister Jack Straw (once again) said, WTF? And Prisons Minister David Hanson said he would scale back the encouragement Swaleside jail in Kent has been giving inmates to apply for In Vitro Fertilization (after the European Court of Human Rights ruled that prisoners couldn't be categorically excluded from gov't benefits for it). Good to be a Scottish prisoner, too, with poker classes and games at Saughton prison in Edinburgh, although Scotland's Justice Secretary is ending those, also, with another WTF? BBC News /// Daily Mail (London) /// Scottish Sunday Mail
Comments 'british_prisoners'

Massachusetts pranksters having fun (either that, or they're nuts)
Most likely having fun were the ones who set up an in-tune piano in the middle of the woods on Cape Cod. Just left it there (with bench, ready to play). The other guy may be nuts, though, the one leaving slabs of raw meat in the town square in Framingham. CNN /// Boston Globe
Comments 'massachusetts_pranksters'

(1) Police in Valentine, Neb., believe they've caught the butt vandal (mentioned several times in News of the Weird for his m.o. of lubricating his cheeks and backing up against storefront windows). (2) That Japanese killer mentioned here on Friday, in turns out, was not exacting revenge for the dysfunction of the pension system, but, um, just because his dog died. Associated Press via San Francisco Chronicle /// Washington Post
Comments 'update_buttvandal'

Your Daily Loser
You might remember U.S. Rep. Gary Condit of California, implicated in the 2001 disappearance of gov't intern Chandra Levy (in the sense that he was a cad who exploited her with delusions of love). For some reason, he was once a rising star in the GOP [CORRECTION: He was a sorta-conservative Democrat], but in public interviews, he always seemed overmatched. Well, after his fall, he moved his family to Phoenix and bought two Baskin-Robbins franchises, and they failed, and last week a federal judge also stuck him for breach of contract and basically called his son a liar. Rising star . . sinking stone. McClatchy Newspapers
Comments 'gary_condit'

People Whose Sex Lives Are Worse Than Yours
William Smith, 50, was convicted of rape in Kelso, Wash., despite his having had what he thought were ironclad contracts from the women to allow themselves to be raped. Said Smith, from the witness stand, "I'm here so I guess it didn't work." The Daily News (Longview)
Comments 'william_smith'

Your Daily Jury Duty
[no fair examining the evidence; verdict must be based on mugshot only]
James Spencer Adams, 63, may be guilty of cramming a coat hanger down the throat of his 8-yr-old step-grandson, but on the other hand, it may have just been an accident, as he claims. Ya just don't know what to believe unless ya can see the picture. WFTS-TV (Tampa) [mugshot] /// WFTS-TV [backstory, but this page's photo is cropped so as to deny you jurors crucial insight]
Comments 'james_adams'

More Things to Worry About on Monday

"They are the KKK in a box," said the lawyer for a black man fighting a DUI ticket (in that the lawyer says he has evidence that blacks have 3 percent less lung capacity than whites and thus that breathalyzers are oppressive for blacks). Connecticut Post

Retinal scans are bigger deals than you thought, in that they're being used (1) in place of branding to deter animal rustling (a lot cheaper!) and (2) by a British woman with much too much money and who has built a $2m-equivalent doghouse for her two great Danes, with entry controlled by retinal scanning of the pooches. Daily Mail (London) /// Daily Telegraph (London)

Be sure to check the news this afternoon, after 2 p.m. Eastern time, to see whether Eric Scott made it across a Colorado gorge in his homemade jet pack. (Could be ugly.) KOAA-TV (Colorado Springs)

Comments on More Things to Worry About on Monday?
Comments 'worry_081124'
     Posted By: Chuck - Mon Nov 24, 2008

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