Happy cows have names

News from the frontiers of science: Researchers have discovered that if you address cows by name, they produce more milk.

The theory is that calling a cow by its name has a soothing effect on it. It feels more relaxed. Whereas unnamed, stressed out cows produce the hormone cortisol which suppresses milk production.

However, researchers warn that "just giving cows a name" probably won't do much. Ya gotta establish a relationship with the cow. Let it know you care. Link: Scientific American.
     Posted By: Alex - Fri Feb 06, 2009
     Category: Science | Cows

My shlong responds much better to milking too when I call it by name....Red Beard!
Posted by Madd Maxx on 02/06/09 at 08:12 AM
According to my TV happy cows come from California
Posted by Jules in Connecticut on 02/06/09 at 08:30 AM
It's also important not to stare at their udders, they want you to make eye contact.
Posted by Lovemonkey on 02/06/09 at 08:48 AM
Along with eye contact, some flowers (for her to eat), warm hands, intelligence and a sense of humor are also appreciated. I've heard that some Barry White helps.
Posted by DownCrisis on 02/06/09 at 08:59 AM
I suppose naming a cow and hurling insults at it would not be good for milk production.
"Damnit Bessy, you don't give enough milk!"
Posted by Matt in Florida on 02/06/09 at 09:31 AM
Here's yet another case of science just not asking the right person a simple question with a common knowledge answer (if you happen to be a dairy farmer). Contented cows give more milk. That's not fiction that's fact.

While growing up I helped the farmer who's place was close to our house. He ran a herd of aprox. 24 cows in milk. Later I worked for a local dairy which ran a herd of some 400 cows (a 24/7/365.249 operation in the milking shed). The farmer's cows out produced the dairy's cows (one on one) every time.

On Betsy, On Daisy, On Buttercup and Elsie.....
Posted by Expat47 in Athens, Greece on 02/06/09 at 09:54 AM
And just who paid for this stellar research? All animals are happier when they are treated nicely and talked to. Even Big Cats warm up to their handlers when they are treated right.
I am so sick of all the bogus research that ends up finding what any Joe off the street already knows.
Posted by AGFH on 02/06/09 at 10:10 AM
This research is actually very relevent but not very practical. Dairy farms tend to have hundreds of cows to milk everyday. I'm sure they don't have the time to have a relationship with each cow. In fact, the milking is done through the use of automation to help increase efficiency. This research would probably help the small time farmer, who is still milking by hand get more yeild from his cow(s).

With all of that said, I have never even been anywhere near a dairy farm.
Posted by Madd Maxx on 02/06/09 at 12:51 PM
yeah but you obviously have experience with milking things concidering the above post maxx. :cheese:
expat spent his youth playing with boobies, udderly shocking! :lol:
yes jules i saw it too. happy cows do, in fact, live in califonia.
what about beef cows. do they respond to being given names and being spoken to? 't-bone, porterhouse, rump roast come on to the barn for dinner.' 😊
Posted by Patty in Ohio, USA on 02/06/09 at 05:44 PM
Look, if they don't want me to stare at their udders, they SHOULDN'T PUT THEM OUT ON DISPLAY!
Posted by Ryan in Philly on 02/08/09 at 01:30 PM
yeah i hear you ryan. those hefers are udder sluts! :cheese:
Posted by Patty in Ohio, USA on 02/08/09 at 02:02 PM
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