Last Week in Weird (August 4, 2014)

Last Week in Weird
datelines (mostly) 7/25/2014--8/2/2014 (Part II)
[Links, chronological, on Extended page]
Copyright 2014 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.

America's World-Class System-Gaming (cont'd): The Federal Highway Trust Fund was re-stocked last week to keep up scheduled maintenance on highways and bridges, but here’s how they did it: They voted to relax federal requirements on how much money employers have to keep in their employee pension plans. Thus, theoretically, companies make higher profit, companies pay higher taxes, more money comes into the Treasury--um, in the short term. Long term, not so much. (And Long Term Risk: If the company ever goes belly-up, the feds have to fund the whole pension.) [ed. (yawn) Hey, how 'bout them Kardashians!]

Paleontologists Abuzz: A Beverly Hills gallery auctioned off the longest-ever fossilized turd, 40" long, maybe 33m yrs old. Went for $10k. But wait, there’s more. Old School Paleos said it wasn’t what they said it was, and those paleos apparently know their caca. Go to the Link for the reasons why.

Detroit-area federal appeals judge Wade McCree was ruled judicially immune in a lawsuit for corruption. Oh, his conduct was “reprehensible,” his colleagues said, but he’s still immune.

From the Foreign Press: (1) After failing in an exorcism on a teenage girl, a Polish priest was taunted in a text message by (the apparently digitally-savvy) Satan: “She will not come out of this hell. She’s mine. You pathetic old preacher.” (2) In Yangzhou, China, guy ran into a cement mixer, totaled his car--and, because they couldn’t pull him out right away, concrete hardered around him and almost memorialized him.

Ironies: (1) Police in Scranton, Pa., as is customary in domestic-abuse cases with a reluctant victim, held her against her will as a “material witness” in the case against her boyfriend for holding her against her will. (2) NY state officials suspended the licenses of 40 professional tax preparers for . . . failure to file their own personal tax returns.

Well, Of Course: Even in Philadelphia, if you try to steal from a mosque’s prayer jars, you may get your hand righteously chopped off before you can get out the door.

Wait--This Is a Crime? An Albuquerque Comcast customer, informed that the “free” service call she thought she was getting was actually chargeable, held the repair man at gunpoint while she negotiated with customer service.

Can’t Possibly Be True: A trial judge in a loud 2012 NYC murder case temporarily filled his courtroom for jury selection with jury candidates, inadvertently squeezing out the defendant’s mother from the gallery for one day. Her son was convicted and sentenced to 15-to-life. New trial ordered last week by New York’s highest court--because his trial (or the first day of jury selection, anyway) wasn’t “public.” (2) How in the world do you set up a toilet cam in your workplace, have it discovered, and have your explanation win over the judge? In Tilgate, England, the worker proved his phobia of diarrhea and vomiting and that when he used the same restroom, he had to be sure no one had been sick right before. Hence, check the cam! Hence, not guilty!

UK Elf & Safety: a woman sued her local government council for £5k ($8,400) after her dog suffered a slipped disc chasing a cat through tall grass that the council should have paid to have mowed.

Compelling Explanations: When West, Tex., almost got leveled by fertilizer explosions in April 2013, four manufacturers or suppliers were eventually targeted for lawsuit. Two of those defendants recently offered their defense: Not our fault, really; fault lies with the poorly trained first responders.

The New Normal: Opportunists are supposedly booking sightseeing tours to Ukraine (2-hr and up) (£50 [$84] and up). Eastern Ukraine. Donetsk, Ukraine. (But I’m not so sure of this; it may be a Daily Mail special.)

Thanks to the NOTW Board of Editorial Advisors, and to Kev of Nothing to Do With Arbroath, and to Gerald Sacks.

http://www.nytimes.com/2014/07/31/upshot/pension-smoothing-the-gimmick-both-parties-in-congress-love.html?_r=0
http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2014/07/140729-dinosaur-coprolite-paleontology-dung-fossil-auction/
http://www.freep.com/article/20140722/NEWS01/307220150/judge-wade-mccree
http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2014/07/29/polish-priest-receives-angry-text-messages-from-the-devil_n_5630225.html
http://austriantimes.at/news/Around_the_World/2014-07-31/51521/Quick_Drying_Concrete_Traps_Man_In_Car_Crash_
http://thefreethoughtproject.com/police-kidnap-woman-ensure-testifies-kidnapper/ (Scranton Times Tribune story is behind a paywall)
http://www.nytimes.com/2014/07/31/nyregion/governors-office-suspends-40-tax-preparers-for-not-filing-own-returns.html
http://articles.philly.com/2014-07-20/news/51749881_1_suspected-thief-search-warrant-arrest-warrant
http://www.abqjournal.com/437537/news/comcast-customer-jailed-in-gun-case.html
http://nypost.com/2014/07/28/murder-verdict-tossed-because-his-mom-couldnt-find-a-seat/
http://www.crawleynews.co.uk/Father-acquitted-trying-film-female-work/story-21742702-detail/story.html
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2707547/Dogowner-sue-council-spaniel-slipped-disc-GRASS-afford-pay-5-000-vet-bill.html
http://www.wacotrib.com/news/greater_waco/west/motions-seek-to-blame-city-of-west-for-devastating-explosion/article_56aa98b4-f242-5674-826b-9f8447df1b17.html
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/travel/travel_news/article-2711728/Tourism-officials-offer-trips-war-zone-UKRAINE-50-includes-flak-jacket.html
     Posted By: Chuck - Mon Aug 04, 2014
     Category:





Comments
Awesome!
Thanks Chuck!
Posted by girlgeniusNYC on 08/04/14 at 03:29 PM
West, TX: I can sort of see the claim that the damages would not have been so bad if the first responders were trained better/at all, but the claims that a person or persons unknown started the fire, or that an golf cart committed suicide by self-immolation are just ridiculous. They may work for a criminal trial, but it won't get them off the hook at a civil damages trial.
Posted by TheCannyScot in Atlanta, GA on 08/04/14 at 04:01 PM
Dear Chuck,

I have to think that you are aware that you can attach a hyperlink right to the text of a post without having to show the entire address (like, for example, the headers of the paragraphs in your summary above), so I'm curious about your reasons for instead listing them in full web address form at the bottom of the page.
Posted by Daldude on 08/04/14 at 04:12 PM
Whoops, posted the previous comment before reading Part I, with Chuck's curmudgeonly explanation about 'coding' (:D) and not wanting to bother with (20 year old) 'blogging technology'. "Hey you damn kids, get off my blog!"
Posted by Daldude on 08/04/14 at 04:44 PM
Gotta agree with Daldude on the formatting. Any particular reason for the change?
Posted by JonasB on 08/04/14 at 05:34 PM
Detroit: Well, around those lakes they've been taking lessons from corrupt Italians for decades, so having Berlusconi for a teacher isn't that much of a surprise.

Elf & Safety: sue the cat's owner instead!
Posted by Richard Bos on 08/05/14 at 03:26 PM
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