[News] Chuck’s Links for Friday, May 1, 2009

Shreepriya Gopalan, whoever he is, filed a federal lawsuit in California against Microsoft and every other mega-corporation you've ever heard of, demanding that they stop conducting business without him, in that he owns them. (How could that be?) "These companies were I Chinged in through a metaphysical layer created and owned by me." He's also a little short of scratch right now and would like the court to accept his lawsuit at public expense. TG Daily /// Justia.com

Awesome OCD: Teresa Tambunting, 50, a 27-yr employee of a New York City jewelry company, has been lifting small pieces of gold out in her purse, daily, for the last six yrs, until she had at least 600 lbs. (at $900/oz.!). New York Daily News

Florida funeral director Lawrence Epps Jr. said he has "complied with the basic laws," which, if that's true, apparently don't prohibit funeral directors from stacking bagged bodies in an unrefrigerated room for three months waiting for the county's payment to arrive. Tampa Tribune

She knew she was endangering her two small kids riding with her, but she just had to ram her car into her husband's pick-up truck because . . he was drunk, and it was her duty to stop him from driving (and his carousing that night had nothing to do with it). Palm Beach Post

Least Competent: (1) A 26-yr-old man dug a 5-ft hole in his yard to work on a problem with his well. He got stuck, head down, only his feet sticking out, for 20 hours. Seriously. (2) Jason Durant, 32, knocked off a Connecticut bank, accidentally fell down a steep slope in back of the bank, broke his leg in several places, lost his gun, lost all the bank loot (except for $2), and crashed against a snowplow blade, slashing himself. Daily Journal (Vineland, N.J.) /// Republican-American (Waterbury)

[Jury Duty] James Marino, 17, White Plains, N.Y., might have shoplifted some condoms, but on the other hand, the charge is kinda unbelievable, since another thing he supposedly lifted was a cosmetic, which would likely be used only by someone concerned about his looks, which does not describe James very well. Journal News (White Plains)

Today's Newsrangers: Dave Ewan, Steve Dunn

     Posted By: Chuck - Fri May 01, 2009

Stuck in a hole - The Daily Journal reports that he's 46, not 26. Still, I don't understand how anyone, aged twenty-six to forty-six could get stuck upside down in a hole. If he was using a psthole digger, he wouldn't have fit in the hole. He must have dug it out and then, what? crawled down to look at the problem with the well?
Posted by kingmonkey in Athens, Ontario on 05/01/09 at 09:36 AM
Shreepriya Gopalan ???? the I Ching is an ancient Chinese text so I don't understand how he invented it...another froot-loop...

Jury Duty the cosmetics were probably a present for his girlfriend/baby momma.
Posted by vegas_girl in Vegas Baby!! on 05/01/09 at 01:36 PM
i ching- reminds me of the nut a while back that was suing everybody from prison. what a nut job.

stolen gold- she hadn't sold any of it, it actually sounds like she had some kind of mental problem. she's a klepto or something.

funeral home- mold and bugs SHUDDER! something stinks about this story.

car crash- what is it about women named lorena? they're always crashing something or cutting something off. guys if you girl is named lorena, for god's sake, behave yourself or who knows what you'll lose!

hole- being confused when they pulled him out could be dehydration or a result of being upside down for an extended period. but, a neighbor said he looked sick before hand and his behavior was strange too. i bet he has a physical problem that accounts for this. hopefully they'll find out what his problem is before he does something else to injure himself.

bank robber- if it weren't for bad luck he'd have no luck at all. gloom, dispair, and agony on him. (from 'hee haw')

jury duty- that's what i thought too vegas girl, gifts in the hope of getting to use a couple of those 52 condoms. guilty.
Posted by Patty in Ohio, USA on 05/01/09 at 07:19 PM
i hadn't thought of that ali. it sounds much more likely good call.
Posted by Patty in Ohio, USA on 05/02/09 at 03:14 AM
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