News of the Weird 2.0 (1-29-2013)

The News of the Weird 2.0 Blog
Angst, Confusion, Cynicism, Ridicule

Hand-Picked and Seasoned by Chuck Shepherd
Wednesday, January 29, 2013

The Rich Recent History of Austrian (Croatian) (Romanian) Times: Yr Editor never uses stories from these great websites (without warning readers) but admits to long being stumped by the abilities of the editors to find particularly good news from the nether regions of reporting--China, the Balkan states, other East European countries, etc. The stories are so often (from my point of view) pitch-perfect and wholly unbelievable masterpieces. I haven't resolved yet whether (a) it's all a big con that I'm not in on or (b) AT's editors read (and often have to translate into English) true and false provincial news from places inaccessible to serious English-language journalists. Here (and I'll get around to hyper-linking these, if I can, later this week) are just some of the stories I've been sitting on for months and years. (English-language Times stories, it says, are published out of Canterbury, England.)
* commercial cans of cow gas sold as authentic countryside smell;
* a Chinese man with a tumor on his chin offers to sell ad space on it to fund tumor surgery;
* a holy man who stands on top of babies to heal them;
* since dogs chase airplanes taking off in New Delhi, an airline charges a dog-catcher fee to ensure safe take-offs;
* a Croatian man killed his mom after she caught him choking the turkey;
* a Moscow driver charged with DUI after trying to call his mother via a cigarette package (Money Quote: "Well, we were driving, and we were almost there, and now we are here [stopped by cops]";
* reporting to an ER in Bucharest with a 4-ft-long anaconda around his neck, requesting treatment;
* Berlin police say women can flash but not men, because with turgid men, their required "sexual motive" is obvious; aroused women are not as obvious;
* wheels of justice turn slowly in Blazevdol, Croatia, where a donkey bit an 8-yr-old girl, and her family sued, and the girl reached 16 before a court finally acquitted the donkey's owner;
* a Serbian man had his wife's hoo-hah carved on her headstone because her dying wish that he never look at another women, and the gravestone helped him;
* a Chinese woman named her dog after her hated neighbors so she could freely cuss the neighbors out by pretending to yell at her dog;
* a Taiwan fashion designer created an anatomically-correct dog chastity belt that did not impede other "functions";
* a driver in Olkusz, Poland, whose car crash left him inches away from a Virgin Mary statue--which rescuers found him praying to as they arrived

© 2013 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
     Posted By: Chuck - Tue Jan 29, 2013

cow gas- If they sold it you better believe there'd be idiots who'd buy it.

tumor ads- That is just gross.

standing on babies- I call bs on this one, it would hurt the babies.

calling on cigs- As long as he didn't smoke his cell phone.

anaconda- No way, it would have choked him out before he goit there.

flashing- Huh??

grave hooh-hah- What a way to be commemorated.

dog name- That's a great idea!

dog chastity- Why, just get the poor pooch fixed.

crash- That's not really all that strange, maybe he was thankful that he survived the crash.

You've been hanging on to some great stuff Chuck!
Posted by Patty in Ohio, USA on 01/29/13 at 10:32 PM
Grave Hoo-Hah I'll bet it was always cold at night too!

Donkey Court 8 years sounds about right! Believe me....
Posted by Expat47 in Athens, Greece on 01/30/13 at 12:32 AM
Grave hoo-haa:
I read of this back in October on LiveLeak, but it didn't have a picture for you so I thought that I would give you the URL. By the way I LOVE your site! Thank you.
Posted by Rachel on 01/31/13 at 07:54 AM
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