News of the Weird, January 25, 2015

News of the Weird
Weirdnuz.M407, January 25, 2015
Copyright 2015 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.

Lead Story

Fourteen employees of a Framingham, Mass., pharmacy were indicted in December for defrauding the federal government by filling bogus prescriptions (despite an owner’s explicit instructions to staff that the fake customers’ names “must resemble real names,” with “no obviously false names” that might tip off law-enforcement). Among the names later found on the customer list of the New England Compounding Center were: Baby Jesus, Hugh Jass, L.L. Bean, Filet O’Fish, Freddie Mac, Fannie Mae, Harry Potter, Coco Puff, Mary Lamb, all of the Baldwin brother actors, and a grouping of Bud Weiser, Richard Coors, Raymond Rollingrock, and of course Samuel Adams. The indictments were part of an investigation of a 2012 meningitis outbreak in which 64 people died. [WBZ-TV (Boston), 12-17-2014]

Cultural Diversity

Two recent innovations to the generations-old Middle East sport of camel racing boosted its profile. First, to cleanse the sport of a sour period in which children from Bangladesh were trafficked in to use as jockeys, owners have begun using “robot” jockeys--electronic dummies that respond to trainers tracking the races with walkie-talkies (growling encouragement directly to camels’ ears) and joysticks (that trigger a whip at an appropriate time). Second, the firm Al Shibla Middle East of United Arab Emirates has introduced lycra-style, whole-body camel coverings that are believed to enhance blood circulation and, perhaps, racing speed (although the fashions are now used only in training and transportation, to lessen camels’ “stress”). Ultimately, of course, the coverings may carry advertising. [New York Times, 12-26-2014] [7 Days in Dubai, 12-31-2014]

The New Normal

“It’s not fair! There is not justice in this country!” shouted the mother of Franklin Reyes, 17, in a New York City courtroom in January after a judge ordered the son tried for manslaughter as an adult. Reyes, an unlicensed driver fleeing a police traffic stop, had plowed into a 4-year girl, killing her, but had initially convinced the judge to treat him as a “youthful offender,” and Reyes’s mom was so enraged at the judge’s switch that she had to be escorted from the room. (After the judge’s generous “youthful offender” ruling, Reyes had violated his bail conditions by getting arrested three more times.) [New York Post, 1-15-2015]

In Phoenix in early 2014, Kevin (last name withheld), age 5, was viciously mauled by “Mickey,” a pit bull, necessitating multiple surgeries, leaving him with lingering pain and disfiguring facial scars, and he still requires extensive care. While Kevin’s trauma makes him live in gloom, “Mickey” has become a Phoenix celebrity after a 75,000-strong outpouring of support kept him from being euthanized for the assault. He lives now in a “no-kill” shelter, where his many supporters can track him on a 24-hour Internet “Mickey cam.” KSAZ-TV reported in December that Kevin’s mom had to quit her job to care for him and struggles to pay medical bills. [KSAZ-TV (Phoenix), 12-11-2014]

Great Art!

In October, vandals in Paris destroyed the large, inflatable “Tree” by U.S. artist Paul McCarthy in the city’s Place Vendome square but not before it became widely characterized as a gigantic green “plug” of the type used for anal sexual stimulation. Paris’s news website The Local reported in December that the controversy has been a boon to the city’s sex shops. “We used to sell around 50 [plugs] a month,” said one wholesaler. “Since the controversy, we’ve moved more than a thousand” (at the equivalent of $23-$45, in materials ranging from glass to stainless steel to silicone). [The Local (Paris), 12-2-2014]

Overthinking It: It was billed as the first-ever art exhibition expressly for non-human appreciation--specifically, for examination by octopuses. England’s Brighton Sea Life Centre featured the five-tank shared display in November (including a bunch of grapes, a piece of Swiss cheese, and a plate of spaghetti--exhibits made of ceramic, plastic, wood, and rope) that the Centre’s curator promised would, according to an ITV report, “stimulate an octopus’s natural curiosity about color, shape, and texture.” [Independent Television (London), 11-5-2014]

Wait, What?

The Territorial Seed Company of Cottage Grove, Ore., introduced a plant in 2014 that sprouts both tomatoes and potatoes—the aptly nicknamed “ketchup ’n’ fries” plant. Grafting (rather than genetic modification) splices the tomato onto potato woodstock (to create single plants capable of harvests of 500 red cherry tomatoes and 4.5 pounds of potatoes each). [The Oregonian (Portland), 12-30-2014]

Jihadist Toddlers: Britain’s Home Office directed in January that the UK’s nursery school staffs report pupils “at risk of becoming terrorists” but gave little guidance on what teachers and managers should look for. According to a description of the directive in the Daily Telegraph, staffs must “have training that gives them the knowledge and confidence to identify children at risk of being drawn into terrorism and [must] challenge extreme ideas . . ..” [Daily Telegraph, 1-4-2015]

Latest Rights

“All I’m looking for is what’s rightfully owed to me under the [corrections department] contract,” said Westchester County (N.Y.) corrections officer Jesus Encarnacion, after having drawn $1.2 million in disability salary for the last 17 years as a result of slipping on a leaf of lettuce on a stairway. When he fell, he jammed his wrist, and several surgeries ensued, and when he was finally ready for “light duty” a few years ago, he re-injured the wrist on the first day and never returned. Encarnacion now seeks a full disability retirement from the state, but officials maintain that “disability retirement” is for injuries resulting only from the rigors of the job. [New York Post, 1-5-2015]

The Opportunist

When a dump truck and a municipal bus collided around 1 p.m. on January 5th in downtown Phoenix, it of course drew the attention of the passengers, bystanders, motorists, and nearby construction workers. According to a report in the Arizona Republic, an unidentified man then immediately seized the moment, ran out from some bushes to the center of the commotion, and flashed the crowd before running away. [Arizona Republic, 1-5-2015]

Least Competent Criminals

Not Quite Clever Enough: (1) Police quickly tracking two assault suspects in Holland Township, Mich., in December arrived at a residence at just the moment that suspect Codi Antoniello, 19, was starting to shave his head to alter his appearance. Antoniello’s now-Internet-famous mugshot shows him with a full head of hair, minus the perhaps-one-fourth on top shorn by electric clippers.[shown at the link] (2) When the wife of James Rivers, 57, of Kent, Wash., was about to bust him for his alleged child-porn collection in October, he shipped his laptop to a technician to have the hard drive erased--but with explicit instructions that if the techie encounters a “hidden” file, he must not look at the photos “under any circumstances.” (The techie, of course, found the file, looked, and notified authorities, and Rivers was arrested.) [WOOD-TV (Grand Rapids, Mich.), 12-19-2014] [Seattle Post-Intelligencer, 10-16-2014]

Recurring Themes

(1) The most recent incident of a fire breaking out on the grounds of a crematorium occurred in December at the Innisvale Cemetery and Crematorium in Innisfil, Ontario. Firefighters put out the blaze and “rescued” the 15 dead bodies that were awaiting cremation. (2) When a small plane over Lake Taupo in New Zealand developed engine trouble in January, the pilot ordered evacuation, but fortunately, the six passengers were skydivers on a training mission and landed safely, even rigging the plane’s crew members to the divers’ own parachutes so that there were no casualties (except the plane). (Working skydivers also survived a November 2013 crash of two planes over Wisconsin by making an “unscheduled” jump.) [Toronto Star, 12-24-2015] [BBC News, 1-7-2015]

A News of the Weird Classic (June 2011)

The Belly Button Biodiversity project at North Carolina State University has begun examining the "faunal differences" in the microbial ecosystems of our navels, to foster understanding of the "tens of thousands" of organisms crawling around inside (almost all benign or even helpful). An 85-year-old man in North Carolina may have "very different navel life" than a 7-year-old girl in France, according to a May Raleigh News & Observer report. So far, only the organisms themselves and the host's demographics have been studied; other issues, such as variations by hairiness of navel, remain. [News & Observer, 5-9-2011]

Thanks This Week to the News of the Weird Board of Editorial Advisors.
     Posted By: Chuck - Mon Jan 26, 2015

Bogus Prescriptions Now, tell me that they head of the investigation was one Richard Tracy. Right? Admit it!

Camel Jockeys Too easy.... Way, way too easy.

Franklin Reyes Ok so now this ass is going to cost Joe 6pac $50k a year for the next 60 years?

Plugged Paris Any excuse is good enough, I guess.

Octo-Art Ya really need to be smarter than the critter.

Oregon Weed Co. When they get the leaves smokeable, give me a shout; we'll call it the puff-n-snack.

Jihadist Toddlers Kick'em all out and solve the problem.

Jesus Encarnacion This is a non-story as he's already 2 strikes ahead of the game. A member of a union and a minority.

Phoenix Phlash A Kodak moment!

James Rivers Never heard of 'wipe disk'? They're free of charge all over the interweb if you can find the right tube to follow.

Crematorium Fire Rescued?? More like wasted available resources.

Belly Button Biodiversity An innie, an outie, with or without lint and badda-bang badda-bing we're all done.

Thanks, Chuck!
Posted by Expat47 in Athens, Greece on 01/26/15 at 09:40 AM
Perhaps Mickey should have a before/after photo of Kevin in his cage, in plain sight of the web cam.

Jihadist Toddlers - Parents have rights too you know.
Posted by RobK on 01/26/15 at 12:11 PM
Fraud- They forgot Mike Hunt and Dick Hurtzer.

Not fair- Maybe if someone had mwrd her son down when he was 4 she'd feel differently.

Dog/child- That is just crazy. How could anyone defend the dog over the child?!

Tree So Paris is the butt plug capital of Europe, not overly surprising.

October art Well if the art is for something that cannot speak there will be no complaints if it is bad.

Topato plant- Good for use in small areas to reduce space used and increase yield.

Toddlers- Soon they will just gather up all the children and the state will raise them "correctly" over there.

Bellybuttons- It makes sense since a bellybutton is isolated enough to be its own ecosystem so to speak.
Posted by Patty in Ohio, USA on 01/26/15 at 03:03 PM
Territorial Seed Company's announcement is an excellent example of how to scam the media. This isn't some great new thing they did -- it's been around for decades.

Instructions on how to do it in your home garden:
Note the date of 2006!

Wikipedia says it was first done in 1977, but I'm reasonably sure they were on Gurney Seed & Nursery catalog's 'curiosities' page in the 1960s.
Posted by Phideaux on 01/26/15 at 11:57 PM
@patty -- I've never grown a grafted tomato/potato plant, but from what I've always heard, if you have room for two plants, you'll get better yields with one tomato and one potato plant than you will from two grafted plants.
Posted by Phideaux on 01/27/15 at 12:00 AM
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