Toilet Sanitary Shield For Men

Florida inventor Vladimir Laurent recently received a patent for a device which he describes as a "toilet sanitary shield for male genitalia." From his patent application:

The toilet sanitary shield for male genitalia is a device that is placed in the toilet to prevent the male genitalia from touching the walls of the toilet while in use. The toilet sanitary shield for male genitalia comprises a shield, a securing device, and a ball and socket joint.

Laurent told the South Florida Business Journal, "It's a home product and it's designed for a specific need, for something that I felt was needed, personally." He also said that he's spent "between $25,000 and $30,000" on developing the product.

His patent included a line drawing (below) which illustrates his device being used. I've put a purple circle over the male dangly bit, in order to avoid any risk of offending that company which pays our web hosting bill (because that company is easily offended). You can see the unaltered patent image at the South Florida Biz Journal link above.

     Posted By: Alex - Mon Oct 05, 2015
     Category: Bathrooms | Inventions | Patents | Genitals

With age comes the effects of gravity and the fruit tends to hang lower to the ground. We have one toilet (of 3)that allows ones dangly pieces to surf when seated and the water level rises. Perhaps Vladimir owns that same toilet.
Posted by GFnKS on 10/05/15 at 10:15 AM
Greek toilets have a lower water level. There'd have to be some SERIOUS dangling going on before any 'surfing' were to occur.

But, wouldn't it just be cheaper/better to just buy a quality john instead of some ceramic refugee from a trailer park?
Posted by Expat47 in Athens, Greece on 10/05/15 at 10:19 AM
Do your bits hang low?
Do they wobble to and fro?
Can you tie them in a knot?
Can you tie them in a bow?
Can you throw them over your shoulder like a marching soldier?
Do your bits hang low?
Posted by KDP on 10/05/15 at 12:06 PM
Change that b to a t in the 1st line and make the following the 5th.
Can you throw them over your shoulder like a continental soldier?
Posted by Expat47 in Athens, Greece on 10/05/15 at 12:19 PM
I had to adapt it a little to make it fit our subject at hand.

The "continental" reference slipped my mind.
Posted by KDP on 10/05/15 at 12:37 PM
What do you do when you have those oval-shaped commercial toilets and your penis is longer than your testicle like most guys? Also, isn't it disgusting to put your nuts where tons of nuts have been put before or do guys just don't care, which would defeat the purpose of the product? Or are you supposed to bring your own nut plate at work and - uggh - install it in the toilet yourself? Everytime?
Posted by Yudith on 10/05/15 at 12:56 PM
Toilet water is cold right? So wouldn't they spring up from the cold effect?? Or slip a sandwich bag over them its disposable.
Posted by Patty in Ohio, USA on 10/05/15 at 06:52 PM
Anybody else remember The But Bra?
I'm thinking something like that would make a lot more sense. But I don't have nuts, so maybe I'm just unsympathetic to male issues.
Posted by CindyL on 10/05/15 at 08:10 PM
OK, so to avoid having your testicles touch the bottom of the bowl you slap those puppies on a pedestal that stands up even higher and doesn't get the benefit of being rinsed off with every flush? I fail to see how that's an improvement. At first I thought it was to keep one's penis from hitting the front of the bowl (which is an issue I can at least sympathize with) but a stand for one's scrotum totally baffles me. Certainly not an item I'd want to be sharing with whoever else's balls happen to make use of my commode.
Posted by Miles on 10/05/15 at 08:54 PM
Years back I worked in a big box home improvement store. A fellow employee brought an older gentleman over to me with the words "This gentleman can help you" and a smirk then walked away. The old guy asks, in a deep Southern drawl, "I need me a tawlet that stands up real high and has water real low so my bawls don't hang down in de water".

I maintained and found him a suitable model...
Posted by Puptentacle on 10/06/15 at 03:23 AM
I have to go along with Expat on this one. Swedish toilets are deep, you´d have to be a freak to be anywhere close to the water.
Posted by F.U.D. on 10/06/15 at 07:03 AM
Western civilization is doomed if we worry about such. We have the brit's to blame for this issue, they started all with the seated crapper.
Posted by Gator Guy on 10/06/15 at 05:38 PM
They all just wanted a chance to sit on a throne like the king
Posted by Patty in Ohio, USA on 10/06/15 at 05:56 PM
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