View From The Ledge
(Chuck channels the spirits of his landmark 1980-1996 zine)
June 22, 2016 (released June 23, 2016)
World's Greatest Lawyer:
Chris Dyer, in La Crosse, Wis., convinced a jury that there was "reasonable doubt" when a 17-yr-old resident came home and found Dyer's client in the basement, pants down, perched doggy-style over the resident's doggy (the golden retriever Cooper) and then quickly rose and pulled his pants up. (The 17-yr-old told her dad, "[T]here was a man in our house screwing Cooper.") Attorney Dyer got the client Daniel Reinsvold off on dog-molesting charges, convincing the jury to settle for trespass and disorderly conduct. (Reinsvold testified to an "intestinal disorder" that makes him have "emergencies." OK, but, still, if that's what was happening, hey, show us the poop
. (There was no poop.) Plus, the vet said Cooper had Doggy-PTSD symptoms.) [La Crosse Tribune
Using a drone, pro-choice activists in the Irish Republic (penalty for aiding abortion: 14 yrs) flew abortion medications (Mifepristone, Misoprostol) over the border to their counterparts in Northern Ireland (penalty for abortion: ummm, well, death penalty). [Belfast Telegraph
Y'Know What's Really Weird?
Two weeks ago, we learned that Mark Zuckerberg
got his social media accounts hacked b/c he broke the rules and used the same password. [NBC News
] It says here that at last count, there were at least 11,000 "security" cameras in the U.S. that were not certified as "secured." [NetworkWorld.com
] Then, the U.S. Air Force revealed that it had lost the entire fraud-investigation database (no backups--um, as if, well, why would we have backup?) dating from 2004 (though it now says some civilian hackers were working on recovery). [Air Force Times
] Back in December, the Federal Trade Commission, which had re-sued LifeLock (you know those guys, right?) for not protecting customers' sensitive information very well, caught 'em again. ("Hey, LifeLock, don't you have, like, one job
?") (They had agreed in 2010 to step up security, but now will have to pony up $113m.) [Wall Street Journal
] So, really, folks. It's just the Wild West. Best Answer: Go hop in bed and pull the covers up real tight, and try not to think about it.
The Passing Parade (I):
Every 5 yrs they have a World Nose Championship in Bavaria, and this year
is the lucky year. With actual calipers they measure length and width (and Hans Roest won) (No announcement of marital status, ladies, but c'mon, he must be single.) [The Local (Berlin)
] The Passing Parade (II):
There's a band named Stone Roses with quite a few fans, 90 of whom bid on eBay for a sealed jar purporting to have captured the air during a recent concert in Manchester, England (with the top bid £65k, which is about US$96,700). (Hold the jar to your ear and experience the "faint reverberation" of guitarist John Squire's solo.) [Daily Telegraph
] The Passing Parade--Everyone's Got a Gig.
Thanks to Steven Lobejko. Back on Saturday.