Weird 2.0 (March 2, 2010)

Weird 2.0

"To see what is in front of one's nose requires a constant struggle"—George Orwell
"Nero Fiddles While Rome Burns"—Rome Daily Inquirer, July 18, 64 A.D.

March 2, 2010
(datelines February 20-February 27) (links correct as of March 2)

Homeland Security's cheerleader captain, Janet Napolitano, loves the "E-Verify" system that, lickety-split, tells an employer whether a worker's social security number is valid. Said she, "E-Verify is absolutely where we're going" in security. Problem: 54% are false positives, in that the SSN was real but had been stolen. Associated Press via Yahoo News

FEMA continued to do a heckuva job even after Hurricane Katrina. For instance, it needed a facility in Brentwood, Tenn. Guys with flashlights drove around the Nashville area, inspected a property without electricity, with an intermittently-operating boiler, and without potable water. Deal! $122,000 rent for three months. Quickly, worker sick leave became a problem because of sewage leaks and chemical contamination, so they had it repaired (adding $607,000 in expenses). That's all according to Homeland Security's inspector general (but FEMA blamed it all on the General Services Administration).

Last August, "compassionate" Scotland's officials released the Lockerbie bomber, terminally ill, so he could pass his last days at home in Libya. Now, his "three months to live" are six and counting, and he's pretty comfortable, according to this report. Daily Telegraph

The National Security Agency, checking out the computer system of the Secret Service, found it worked at a lightning-like "60 percent" capacity, with a 1980s-style mainframe. It'll cost $187 million to update, and Homeland Security has allocated a whole $33 million. ABC News

Britain's Equality and Human Rights Commission warned that schools are not to require gender-specific clothing styles, such as making younger girls wear skirts. That's because of the few kids who have decided already that they're transgenders and thus might be made to feel uneasy. We can't have uneasiness. The Times

Defining Integrity Down: Briton Roger Day, 62, was convicted of wearing 17 Army medals he didn't come close to earning, but the judgment was overturned because the prosecutor had charged him under an old law that was recently updated, and he consequently decided, what the hell, just turn Day loose. Day: "I am vindicated. I am now considering taking legal action against all those who muddied my name." The Times

Win-Win? (You decide.) An Australian Broadcasting Corp. reporter is the latest to visit the issue of where all those women's hair extensions come from. Answer: Hindu temples accept hair (Some have head-shavers on duty 24/7!) in lieu of money as offerings to the gods, for prosperity. Then the temples sell it to brokers at the equivalent of about US$80 to $120/lb, and it eventually makes its way to Europe and then to salons everywhere. Australian Broadcasting Corp. News

The latest think-tank figures put the yearly total of patients who enter U.S. hospitals infection-free, but who never make it out alive due to infection, at 99,000. (The other 1.6 million patients [annually] who got infected at the hospital, didn't die.) Reuters via Yahoo News

The CW Group International, LLC, would like to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony, such as by explaining to Guinea's murderous army that they simply must start playing fair. Hence, CWGI prepared this Power Point presentation setting out the rules of civilized warfare, e.g., Don't shoot at civilians. (Of course, traditional African-warlord/civil war/genocide rules require that civilians be tortured and killed.) Foreign Policy

The 5th Commandment can be a bitch. "Honor thy father and thy mother"? Sure. But the gospel according to fundamentalists Michael and Debi Pearl teaches that the best way to convey that is with a section of quarter-inch plumbing supply line, administered forcefully to various parts of your child's body. Kevin and Elizabeth Schatz were charged two weeks ago in Oroville, Calif., for beating one young daughter to death and torturing another, and last week Elizabeth decided she needed a heavyweight lawyer. All they were trying to do, said the Schatzes, was lovingly help their kids to be God-fearing. Mercury-Register (Oroville)

[Weird 2.0 is a kinda-upmarket rendition of News of the Weird / Pro Edition. No perverts, no drunks, no stupid criminals. Just scary important stuff.]

     Posted By: Chuck - Tue Mar 02, 2010

The Pearls and the Schatzes: Just when you think nothing will ever top the Phelpses for utter vileness... :shut:
Posted by Dumbfounded on 03/02/10 at 07:29 AM
Another winner for Chuck! Long live the Chuckmister!
Posted by Expat47 in Athens, Greece on 03/02/10 at 08:11 AM
Re: Britain's Equality and Human Rights Commission
What about the TG boys, may they wear skirts?
The Kinks(an English group for those too young to remember)
Girls will be boys
and boys will be girls
it's a mixed up
muddled up
shook up world
except for Lola
la la la la Lola
Posted by msbehavoyeur on 03/02/10 at 11:06 AM
MW, Chico is a town in California that is apparently swimming in lawyers. Must be full of restaurants that give discounts to bottom feeders, too.
Posted by Nethie on 03/02/10 at 12:23 PM
E-Verify - when are we gonna get the chips implanted into our hands as in Demolition Man so we can cut this crap out, for the most part. Oh sure folks will still go around hacking off people's hands or having false chips implanted, but I can't imagine it would be as out of hand (hah, get it? out of hand... I slay me) as the current system.

FEMA - what did you expect? After the devastation they had to look at for so long in Louisiana, they are experts at spotting buildings that need extensive repairs.

Bomber - Let's not spend too much time being upset about this. Instead, let's rejoice that he's shown us all an effective way to improve the living situation of anyone that is terminal.

NSA - you mean all those nifty high-tech computer tricks we saw them do in Enemy of the State were just special effects?

Skirts - I actually think uniforms in schools are a good idea. They take the kid's focus off the superficial and put it more on the books. (I base this on my own experiences and not on any formal studies.)

Medals - Convicted? as in, there was a trial? there's a waste of money if I ever heard one.

Hair - I've thought about donating my hair to Locks of Love, the company that makes wigs for children with cancer or other medical conditions that cause hair loss. I don't think I could ever sell it, though.

Infection - This does not surprise me and in fact, I'd be willing to bet the number is actually a lot higher. I spent most of last summer/fall in the hospital, and there were any number of areas that they should have cleaned better than they did.

CW Group - Great, now I have that damned Coke commercial song stuck in my head. Thanks, Chuck. Oh, and torturing civilians is bad.

5th - Doesn't make a lot of sense to me. Beating someone until they become God fearing? They'd be more likely to fear the person doing the beating, not God. But let's prove that theory by locking these guys in a room and beating them until they fear God.
Posted by Nethie on 03/02/10 at 12:48 PM
ssn- money spent on positive pr for this could be better spent improving it.

fema- 'a great fixer upper' is supposed to apply to something you buy not a rental!

lockerbie- the guy scammed them but there isn't much that can be done about it now. capital punishment would have kept this from happening though.

secret service- they only protect the president and investigate counterfitting, why do they need new computers? (no wonder the dog had to save 'w' from choking)

uk- they just keep getting stranger and stranger over there.

hair- so what, it had to come from somewhere. nethie, my neice got her hair cut and donated it and so did my friend's daughter. they were happy with the choice.

nosocomial infections- most of the problem is patient to patient transfer by medical staff due to poor universal precautions. especially poor handwashing.

civilized warfare- uh, yeah...good luck with that.

shatzes- i agree nethie, give them the same treatment. aoption, the loving option? not this time.
Posted by Patty in Ohio, USA on 03/02/10 at 06:16 PM
Thanks agian Chuck!
I nominate chuck for the title of God-Father of weird news, any seconds?
Chuck Sheppard the hardest working man in weird news business!!
Posted by Tyrusguy on 03/03/10 at 12:47 AM
(Nethie)E-Verify –When they start handing out chips I’m going to move to Canada and learn to love hocky.

Roger Day –I thught only America was that bad. :down:

Infection –Hate to say it because I work in a hospital and use there computer to read the WU but that sounds about right.

Schatz –I must have missed the part of the bible where Jesus ran around beating kids with a quarter-inch plumber's supply line. 😕
Posted by Ricemonkey on 03/03/10 at 04:35 AM
It's in that book near the end after Revelations, IIRC.
Posted by Expat47 in Athens, Greece on 03/03/10 at 05:02 AM
But, but, it says "Suffer the little children..."
Posted by TheCannyScot in Atlanta, GA on 03/03/10 at 12:10 PM
I can’t help but notice all of those were written before God had a kid.
Posted by Ricemonkey on 03/03/10 at 11:17 PM
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