Air Traffic Comedy

This one is a gem. Several examples of the strictly business only communication between cockpit crews and air traffic controllers. For example, a British Airlines jet was chastised for not knowing the way to their gate at the Frankfurt, Germany airport. The tower asked the Brits hadn't they ever been there before, in a short tone. The British pilot responded, 'Yes, twice in 1944, but it was dark and I didn't land.' Another was a female controller bitterly dressing down an airline crew. After her tirade no one spoke for a minute, then an unidentified voice said, 'Wasn't I married to you once?' Enjoy them all here
     Posted By: Alex - Thu Jul 23, 2009

i got a big kick out of these! i hope you all like them. 😊
Posted by Patty in Ohio, USA on 07/23/09 at 07:59 PM
Here's some more stuff along these lines. Qantas mechanics gone wild!
Posted by Expat47 in Athens, Greece on 07/24/09 at 10:36 AM
very funny expat! canny scot, there was another one similar- a german pilot radios in german and is told to use english if he wans a response. pilot radios in english 'i'm a member of a german flight crew in a german plane in germany. why do i have to speak english?' a british voice replies, 'because you lost the bloody war.' :lol:
Posted by Patty in Ohio, USA on 07/24/09 at 01:43 PM
Thanks Miss Patty ~ that was hysterical:lol:
Posted by Skitt in SW USA on 07/24/09 at 04:25 PM
you're welcome love!
Posted by Patty in Ohio, USA on 07/24/09 at 04:30 PM
Absolutely hilarious, Patty! I remember another that I'll have to paraphrase, forget which site I found it on ... an American airplane (don't recall the airline) keyed a mike as a Lufthansa heavy was rolling out to assume its place in the takeoff queue and said, "This is (whatever callsign) to Lufthansa 747 taxiing into queue." The German pilot fired back, "We do not recognize your chatter -- All communications must be directed through ATC! At Lufthansa, we are professional!" A pause, then, the American called again ... "ATC, would you please inform the professionals aboard Lufthansa heavy that the locking pin and flag are still in their landing gear?"
Posted by warrenwr on 07/24/09 at 04:59 PM
you know that nothing can be LITERALLY older than dirt, right joe? :cheese:
Posted by Patty in Ohio, USA on 07/25/09 at 05:33 PM
okay i'm going to take a huge hit for this but...
initially i thought they were true, that's why i posted it. people say all kinds of things so i just figured someone in the industry gathered some clever exchanges over the years. they were funny to me and i figured a few of my friends here would get a giggle from them. i just don't get why some people (not you mw) get so up in arms about silly posts. joe take a pill.
Posted by Patty in Ohio, USA on 07/26/09 at 04:57 PM
Joe, you may be entirely right. Wilson "Bob" Tucker used to say, "Don't let the truth get in the way of a good story" and perhaps he was correct. But even urban legends have occasional flashes of insight from which we can all take lessons, and some of these aviation "legends", while difficult to substantiate, remain object lessons for a reason. (Didn't you ever have a prof in college who 'taught' you something with a hypothetical, even humorous, anecdote? Don't you still remember that professor with some fondness, for what you learned?)

As a regular reader (and obviously a commenter) on this site, you have to be aware that the truth is more often than not stranger than fiction. I invite you to prove that these events did *not* happen and will grant you that pilots are "outstanding" liars ("So there I was ...") -- I know more than a few, and they all have a good sense of humor.

The difference between God and a Fighter Pilot: God doesn't think He is a Fighter Pilot.

Curiously, Astronauts (to whom even Fighter Pilots defer) don't have that attitude -- every one I have ever met has been humbled by his experience. (Never met any of the ladies yet.)

"The General" (Charles Yeager) has no reason to make up stories, and some of his tall-tales would scare you to death -- like Neil Armstrong 'deliberately' crash-landing their plane in the mud at Muroc AFB while Yeager was acting as his flight instructor.

Hail NOTW! And all who read and contribute to it! (Especially those who started it and keep it alive!) At least this bastion of (in?)sanity is largely free of unnecessary dogma and populated by intelligent and civil people who can agree to disagree but don't get personal, religiously indignant, or abusive!
Posted by warrenwr on 07/26/09 at 04:58 PM
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