[News] Chuck’s Links for Thursday, April 30, 2009

District of Calamity: A high-volume alarm screeched out Tuesday morning in an upscale northwest Washington, D.C., 'hood, and, literally, no one knew what it was . . until much later. (It was an emergency gov't alarm installed in the 1970s, and no one is around now who remembers anything about it.) WRC-TV (Washington)

It was no different than having breast augmentation, said the local-gov't official in Australia, but she was describing how her career had gotten a boost from that paaaainful bone-lengthening procedure, where surgeons break your legs on purpose, separate them a bit, and encourage the bones to fuse back, just to gain maybe an inch or two of height. Reuters via Yahoo

Update: Our ol' friend Akinwale Arobieke, 47, Liverpool, England, has apparently violated the terms of his court order—the one that forbids him from approaching strangers and feeling up their biceps. BBC News

A Minnesota emergency-response agency kids' coloring book (endorsed by FEMA on its website and distributed widely across America) actually featured a colorable illustration of a plane about to hit the World Trade Center (but now FEMA has re-thought it). Albert Lea Tribune (Albert Lea, Minn.) /// WKMG-TV (Orlando) [the illustration]

All over the news today is the annual Wacky Warning Label contest winners, e.g., instructions for a wart-removal kit that includes this disclaimer: "Do not use if you cannot see clearly to read the information in the information booklet." Associated Press via Yahoo /// Foundation for Fair Civil Justice

Leaders of Kenya's Women's Development Organization, riled up that men can't seem to get together on a national unity gov't, have called for women to refrain from giving it up for at least seven days (and even paying prostitutes to shut down during that time). BBC News

In Thailand, a senior Buddhist monk said he'd issue a book of guidelines for proper priest behavior, mainly, none of that gay stuff like lipstick and tight robes, but also against flaunting wealth and using the toilet improperly. BBC News

[Jury Duty] Elizabeth Grube and her sister Elaine Volkert, Stroudsburg, Pa., accused of moving $10k/week worth of heroin and found with an inventory of more than 1,000 bags in their homes. BTW, Elizabeth's 70, and Elaine's 65. WNEP-TV (Scranton)

Today's Newsrangers: Kathryn Wood, Gerald Sacks
     Posted By: Chuck - Thu Apr 30, 2009

Jury Duty - Well there not using the stuff, they're too happy. Maybe they are just guilty of not getting enough in their Social Security checks and just needed some extra cash. Some grandmothers show love with food or knitted garments, they do it with pharmaceuticals. 😏
Posted by DownCrisis on 04/30/09 at 08:40 AM
Wacky Warning Labels - It's too bad this won't really stop the problem of frivolous law suits. I bought an electric drill a few years back ith the warning "This drill is not equipped with common sense, which shall be provided by the user". It's still my favorite warning label.
Posted by Matt in Florida on 04/30/09 at 09:30 AM
Jury Duty - Guilty, but I can't blame them considering they probably lost most of their pension due to the "Econopocalypse".

Thai Monk - I didn't realise priests didn't know how to crap properly :ohh:

Australian woman (now 1 inch taller) - OUCH! Not worth it.
Posted by Matt in Florida on 04/30/09 at 09:34 AM
Bone-lengthening surgery - I don't need no surgery to lengthen my bone, if you know what I'm sayin'! Hey-o!

Wacky Warning Labels - The one I heard on the radio yesterday was a toilet seat with the warning "Not for use in a moving vehicle."

Jury Duty - Not guilty! These nice old ladies clearly just thought they were making apple pies, and had no idea it was heroin.
Posted by kingmonkey in Athens, Ontario on 04/30/09 at 09:47 AM
Rule #7 Kingmonkey!
Posted by Matt in Florida on 04/30/09 at 09:49 AM
@Michelle in Iowa: The lady in Australia had this dome purely for cosmetic reasons, there was nothing wrong with her legs or hips before the surgery. I think in your circumstance it would be more acceptable. But most times cosmetic surgery does not fix the body image problem that causes people to get the surgery in the first place.
Posted by Matt in Florida on 04/30/09 at 10:58 AM
Jury Duty- Julio must have been the one to drop the ball on this...how could these two possibly get caught??
Posted by mrjazz on 04/30/09 at 12:18 PM
District of Calamity - ha ha the gov't people were trying to pass it off as a house alarm. What idiots! If they didn't know what it was they should just say that and try to find out. I have more respect for folks who admit they don't know but try to find out then any idiot who lies to me.
Posted by vegas_girl in Vegas Baby!! on 04/30/09 at 06:53 PM
@ patty - The morning after the flyover, I heard that the FAA didn't want the police telling the public. And no one notified Mayor Bloomberg, which has got to be the stupidest thing. :roll:

And that's the second time today I've encountered "lies like a rug" when I do't think I've ever heard it before.
Posted by Leshka on 04/30/09 at 10:46 PM
Commenting is not available in this channel entry.