[News] More Things to Worry About Today
Worse Sex Life Than Yours: Bob Epley, 56, Nashville, Tenn., was arrested for hiring kids for sex, specifically, to "place him in a stranglehold with their legs" "in order to create an autoerotic sensation." The Tennessean
Even now, some people still have too much money: The sculpture of a cat that will go to auction in May in NYC is expected to bring $16m-$22m. Reuters
William Bieber, 35, was arrested in Chehalis, Wash., for sneaking meth into his wife's water because, nursing their 3-month-old, she seemed not to have any energy left for cleaning the house. Associated Press via Seattle Post-Intelligencer
A slightly intoxicated motorcyclist crashed into wild pigs on the road in 2003 and messed himself up badly, and a jury decided that was California's fault for not putting up "Wild Pigs" signs on the highway. (Bonus: Good luck collecting $8.6m from a state that's almost bankrupt.) Associated Press via KOVR-TV (Sacramento)
Recurring (embarrassing) Theme: A Saginaw, Mich., man [Ed.: No, not the one humping the vacuum cleaner at the carwash] got his finger stuck in his car's gas tank, and it took firefighters 4 hours to get it loose. Saginaw News [finger] /// Saginaw News [vacuum]
Recurring Theme: It says here that a newspaper in Quanzhou, China, reported a suicidal Chinese woman's jumping off a building and landing on a non-suicidal man, killing him (her boyfriend!) but sparing her. Daily Telegraph (London)
Your Daily Loser
Brian Round, Eustis, Fla., apparently one of the thousands of 17-yr-olds confident that they've got everything figured out, called up his friends and told them he had been "messing with people" using his police-style lights in his car but was sure he was home-free because none of his friends "would rat me out." Brian was making the calls on his cell phone from an interrogation room at the police station during a break, and he didn't think anybody would be monitoring. Orlando Sentinel
Today's Newsrangers: Tom Barker, Paul Woolwine, Andrew Gibson, Matt Mirapaul, and a boatload o' people who tipped me to the carwash case last week (which I had already covered when the poor guy was arrested)
Even now, some people still have too much money: The sculpture of a cat that will go to auction in May in NYC is expected to bring $16m-$22m. Reuters
William Bieber, 35, was arrested in Chehalis, Wash., for sneaking meth into his wife's water because, nursing their 3-month-old, she seemed not to have any energy left for cleaning the house. Associated Press via Seattle Post-Intelligencer
A slightly intoxicated motorcyclist crashed into wild pigs on the road in 2003 and messed himself up badly, and a jury decided that was California's fault for not putting up "Wild Pigs" signs on the highway. (Bonus: Good luck collecting $8.6m from a state that's almost bankrupt.) Associated Press via KOVR-TV (Sacramento)
Recurring (embarrassing) Theme: A Saginaw, Mich., man [Ed.: No, not the one humping the vacuum cleaner at the carwash] got his finger stuck in his car's gas tank, and it took firefighters 4 hours to get it loose. Saginaw News [finger] /// Saginaw News [vacuum]
Recurring Theme: It says here that a newspaper in Quanzhou, China, reported a suicidal Chinese woman's jumping off a building and landing on a non-suicidal man, killing him (her boyfriend!) but sparing her. Daily Telegraph (London)
Your Daily Loser
Brian Round, Eustis, Fla., apparently one of the thousands of 17-yr-olds confident that they've got everything figured out, called up his friends and told them he had been "messing with people" using his police-style lights in his car but was sure he was home-free because none of his friends "would rat me out." Brian was making the calls on his cell phone from an interrogation room at the police station during a break, and he didn't think anybody would be monitoring. Orlando Sentinel
Today's Newsrangers: Tom Barker, Paul Woolwine, Andrew Gibson, Matt Mirapaul, and a boatload o' people who tipped me to the carwash case last week (which I had already covered when the poor guy was arrested)
Comments
Sex Life - Couldn't he have just gotten a job as a high school wrestling coach?
William Bieber - Off with his head!
Wild Pigs - I see a new U2 hit in this. "Who's gonna ride your wild piiiiiigs..."
Recurring Theme - Karma
William Bieber - Off with his head!
Wild Pigs - I see a new U2 hit in this. "Who's gonna ride your wild piiiiiigs..."
Recurring Theme - Karma
Posted by Nethie on 03/30/09 at 06:10 PM
Where the heck does the state get signs that say "Pig Xing"?
From the streets around the US Capitol buildings in DC?
From the streets around the US Capitol buildings in DC?
Posted by Paul in Athens GA on 03/30/09 at 06:15 PM
Did you check out a photo of the Bronze Cat? It looks like a giant pin covered in welding drippings with 4 pin legs under it. I think I may leave my job and become and impressionistic artist. I have a pile of scrap metal out back that must be worth a fortune!
Posted by Ben the Cat on 03/30/09 at 07:09 PM
Sex-life I know how to warn my kids about sexual predators and not taking candy from strangers... now I have to specify that you should never wrap your legs around the neck of a strange man in exchange for money? I guess this is a "do as I say, not as I do" type thing....
Meth Starbucks didn't work?
Wild pigs I'm with you, Murph... who in the world keeps giving these people MONEY?
Meth Starbucks didn't work?
Wild pigs I'm with you, Murph... who in the world keeps giving these people MONEY?
Posted by KW in Dallas, TX on 03/30/09 at 10:18 PM
landing on a non-suicidal man
When I first saw the headline I thought, "Ha, maybe he tried to catch her." Then I read the article. He tried to catch her. :long:
What a Wang!
When I first saw the headline I thought, "Ha, maybe he tried to catch her." Then I read the article. He tried to catch her. :long:
What a Wang!
Posted by Madd Maxx on 03/31/09 at 07:42 AM
China - Hasn't that guy ever seen Mythbusters? Critical Velocity my friend, look it up! Oh wait, he can't, never mind.
Posted by Jules in Connecticut on 03/31/09 at 08:44 AM
Thanks JBJ ~ Hey I'm a huge cat lover but $22M for that piece of crap? Give me the buyer's name, I'm sure I've got some stuff he/she can waste $$ on and make me wealthier in the process. :cheese:
Meth in the water ~ what a sick freak. Did he even think about the baby? I want his address, I'll kill him myself.
Meth in the water ~ what a sick freak. Did he even think about the baby? I want his address, I'll kill him myself.
Posted by Skitt in SW USA on 03/31/09 at 01:58 PM
Uh, how do you get your finger stuck in a gas tank? I can't quite figure that out.
Posted by kingmonkey in Athens, Ontario on 04/01/09 at 11:31 AM
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