News of the Weird (12-30-2012)

The News of the Weird Blog
Angst, Confusion, Cynicism, Ridicule

Hand-Picked and Seasoned by Chuck Shepherd
Sunday, December 30, 2012

San Diego: What were you doing in 1989? This guy was stealing, and hiding, a brand-new Corvette--put it in a storage locker and paid rent for 23 yrs before the latest price increase did him in. (He says storage cost him $70k over the yrs.) Still has a new-car smell, 67 miles on the odometer. (Bonus: The DA gave him a pass because he’s remorseful and cooperative.) Los Angeles Times

Holywell, England: Troy Hamilton is the most recent guy to steal a video survillance camera but accidentally get his face caught on tape (“camera,” in this case, meaning the lens unit only). Yr Editor includes this story only because of the startling revelation by the Mold Crown Court magistrate that he was assigning Hamilton to a “thinking skills course,” run by the probation service. England 1, U.S. 0. BBC News

Dorset, Vt.: Donald Blood III was charged with DUI after driving on the lawn at a home. (Bonus: It was Wilson House, a “sanctuary” owned by the late co-founder of Alcoholics Anonymous, Bill Wilson.) Associated Press via Yahoo News

Newcastle-Under-Lyme, England: Julie Griffiths, 43, was upgraded to a 5-yr Anti-Social Behavior Order after her local council’s “monitoring equipment” was installed in a neighbor’s house and calculated that she screeched at her old man 47 noise-ordinance-busting times in three months. (Apparently, he’s fine with that, maybe because she’s such a knockout!) Daily Telegraph

Update: Our friend Jonathan Lee Riches temporarily abandoned his preferred m.o. for getting attention (litigation against famous people) in favor of declaring himself the uncle of Sandy Hook school shooter Adam Lanza. (Bonus: The Smoking Gun appears to have caught Radar Online making up stuff. TSG says it was Riches who filed the latest Britney Spears-Kevin Federline lawsuit, but Radar Online has various “insider” quotes as if the story were authentic. Well done.) The Smoking Gun

End of Year Treat: The fellas at present their annual compilation of items people got stuck in various orifices (from the South Florida Sun-Sentinel, which swears all they did was peel off the Centers for Disease Control database). Refrigerator magnets in each nostil, a nickel in someone else’s nose, plus ya got all your private parts chronicled. Deadspin (2012) /// Deadspin (2011)

© 2012 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
     Posted By: Chuck - Sun Dec 30, 2012

1989- I got married in 1989, there ain't no amnesty for that!

thinking skills course- So they're gonna provide job training skills for these guys?

skreeching- If you can't yell ath your old man then who can you yell at!?!

orfice abuse- No learning curve with these people is there?
Posted by Patty in Ohio, USA on 12/30/12 at 10:24 PM
Car Thief: If the owner got back a 23yo Vette with 67 miles on it he's the winner!

Holywell, UK: "It is probably the most ridiculous offence you will ever hear about." The magistrate OBVIOUSLY doesn't hang out around here!

Julie Griffiths: For every sadist needs a masochist to be fulfilled.

Thanks for the tip about DeadSpin.

Happy New Year to one and all! Be happy & stay safe!
Posted by Expat47 in Athens, Greece on 12/30/12 at 11:26 PM
Thanks for all the weird news you provided in 2012.
May you continue in 2013 and far beyond.

Favorites from this week --
Dumb criminal who can't figure out the "camera" is digital, meaning the data is on a hard drive off-site.

And married people who must hate each other. (Or just have hearing problems.)

Posted by girlgeniusNYC on 12/31/12 at 01:54 AM
Holywell is in Wales, not England.
Posted by dumbledoor on 12/31/12 at 05:05 AM
Oh, for the good old days of scolds' bridles! And yes, she's a knockout, all right. I'd say it looks like she went a round with Mike Tyson. Plus, if you're 40, and you hook up with a 20yo, this may be what you wake up to during your retirement.
Posted by TheCannyScot in Atlanta, GA on 12/31/12 at 10:40 AM
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