News of the Weird 2.0
(Almost) Daily, Since May 21, 2012
Underreported News, Hand-Picked and Lightly Seasoned by Chuck Shepherd
May 26, 2012
(datelines from May 21 or later) (links correct as of May 26)
★ ★ ★ ★!
Chilean-born artist Sebastian Errazuriz has created "Christian Popsicles" featuring actual priest-blessed (sneakily so) wine, i.e., "the blood of Christ." After sucking down the 'sicle, you're left with a stick figure of Jesus on the cross. Particularly harsh, but on the other hand, he set off the Catholic League's apoplectic Bill Donohue, which is always entertaining. CNN
/// Secular News Daily
Chutzpah!: Ms. Stormy Moody didn't even try hard to cover up the massive burglary of her next-door neighbor. She emptied closet and dressers and then flaunted one of the outfits in front of the victim. WBBJ-TV
Denver: Late-blooming Steve Crecelius learned at age 57 that he was from the other team. He went in the ER for a kidney stone problem, and they told him that, by the way, you have both boy and girl parts, and suddenly all those lifelong urges became an A-ha Moment. He's now Stevie, and his wife and kids still love him. WGHP-TV
Funny Old World*
U.S.-Style Perfectionism in India: It says in this rant that a TV ad for Clean & Dry Intimate Wash (using animation) convinces Indian women that what they really need is a lightening of their vulva skin. The Age
Cologne, Germany: The survey firm Rheingold found that sometime after the 2006 World Cup, Germans turned more dour than usual, with 55% now feeling they've lost their ability to feel good at all (including in sex, worried as they are about looking bad or performing poorly). Plus, these days, y'know, they're totally responsible for all of Europe. Spiegel Online
Redditch, England: Andy Kelso retired as a Church of England vicar. God told him one day (said Andy) to go forth and spread the word as Elvis Prayersley. So he's a full-time impersonator doing gospel songs. World's Greatest Newspaper
News of the Weird 1.0
Again: Here's a patient so obese that she couldn't fit through the doors of her own home to be taken to the hospital. Firefighters and carpenters had to take out walls, erect scaffolding, etc. What's Different This Time: The 784-lb. patient is still a teenager and once went through a U.S. fat farm to get down to 250, but let herself go again. Wales Online
Again: Awwww, MOM!
Chicago drug dealer Jesus "Pepe" Fuentes, 27, had tickets for a Scarface concert scheduled at the same time that a 10-kilo shipment of heroin was due in and so dispatched his trusted mother to pick it up for him. She got it, and everything would've been fine if she hadn't gotten traffic-stopped for failing to signal a turn. Chicago Tribune
Thanks to the mighty NOTW Board of Editorial Advisors.
(* stolen from Private Eye
; [Chuck's editor
: Stolen? You're better than that.] [Chuck
: I'm not.])