News of the Weird 2.0 (September 24, 2013)

News of the Weird 2.0
Angst, Confusion, Cynicism, Ridicule

Prime Cuts of Underreported News from Last Week, Hand-Picked and Lightly Seasoned by Chuck Shepherd
September 23, 2013 (Part II)
(datelines September 14-September 21) (links correct as of September 22)

Creative Writing Class: Math teacher Ethel Anderson testified that the only reason she wrote hundreds of explicit sex e-mails to the 12-yr-old boy was to give him motivation to do better work in school. Nothing else. That’s the ticket. Tampa Bay Times /// Breaking news: Guilty! WTSP-TV (St. Petersburg)

No such thing as whale Q-tips. Consequently, researchers use columns of ear wax to get a good history of chemical pollutants in the water where the whales have roamed. NPR

Mayor J.J. Hudson of Flippin, Ark. (pop. 1,349) dropped by the police chief’s office the other day, tried fondling that handsome rifle the chief had recently confiscated . . and accidentally blew out a window. KAIT-TV (Jonesboro, Ark.)

Dark Days Last Week: A motorcyclist in Quebec died when hit by a floating deer (the result of its being hit by a car). A 20-yr-old woman accidentally fell off a balcony in India, landing on a 60-yr-old man, killing both. Mutually pulling off into a shopping center in Ionia, Mich., two armed road ragers opened fire and took each other out, permanently. /// A 49-yr-old man died on a firing range in Lyons, Ill., the result of what was officially called an “accident”--though there were multiple wounds in the neck and head. CFTR Radio (Toronto) /// Times of India /// WZZM-TV (Kalamazoo, Mich.) /// Chicago Sun-Times

Too Little Information: (1) Apparently the informal debate over some nuance or other in the philosophy of Immanuel Kant ended disrespectfully (yet non-fatally!), but we still don’t know precisely which nuance drew the shooter’s ire. (2) Hey, Take It Easy! Police say that a South Carolina woman stabbed her boyfriend for one Eagles song too many, but we don’t know which song set her off. BBC News /// WCIV-TV (Charleston)

Least Competent Geek: A computer hacker from Brazil, proclaiming how p.o.’d he is at American “spy[ing]” and involvement in Syria, and who is also confused about American acronyms, took down 14 websites belonging to NASA instead of NSA.

Newsrangers: Chad Ericksberg, Bruce Leiserowitz, Andy Hastie, Lee Salem, and John Lafalce, and the News of the Weird Board of Editorial Advisors.
     Posted By: Chuck - Tue Sep 24, 2013

teacher- See Jack run. See Jill run. See jack and Jill strip...

Whale wax- Ewww!

Flippin, Ark- So he went in to the flippin police station and picked up the flippin gun and shot out the flippin window? What a flippin idiot.

Road rage- Double Darwin!!

Firing range- What happens at the firing range stays at the firing range. It was an accident, yeah that's it, an accident I tells ya.
Posted by Patty in Ohio, USA on 09/24/13 at 10:57 PM
Ear Wax Shrek could collect some wax too!

Mayor J.J. Hudson Ark = Arkansas just in case you couldn't already get that from the story.

Hay, Chuck, how high's the water? Got a boat?
Posted by Expat47 in Athens, Greece on 09/25/13 at 01:28 AM
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