News of the Weird 2.0
Angst, Confusion, Cynicism, Ridicule
Prime Cuts of Underreported News from Last Week, Hand-Picked and Lightly Seasoned by Chuck Shepherd
September 9, 2013
(datelines August 31-September 7) (links correct as of September 8)
© 2013 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
★ ★ ★ ★!
Law school grads with traditional disabilities (i.e., not the morally
disabled) typically get accommodations to take state bar exams--because, after all, they’ve already endured the challenging tedium of law school and seek only to earn a living. But Joan Hoyt, 61, wants accommodations just to take the law school admissions test!
. She has “difficulty writing, is easily distracted, needs frequent breaks, and reads about two-and-a-half times slower than her peers,” her lawyer wrote in a lawsuit against the test administrator after they turned down some of her demands. It strains the imagination wondering what kind of work a 64-yr-old with those disabilities
might put a law degree toward. St. Louis Post-Dispatch
Among America’s 99 Problems
is surely not
the overregulation of imports from China--and especially overregulation of food imports
. Proposed USDA rules lighten up on Chinese chicken,
of all things, by allowing four specific companies to do their own regulation and by scrapping required, consumer-friendly “country of orgin” labels for Chinese chicken. (On the other hand, if you feel secure
at USDA’s current, traditional regulation of chicken, you need to cut back on your tranquilizers.) NPR
God’s Will: The U.S. eradicated measles more than a decade ago, but it’s coming back in large part because the War Against Science has spawned anti-immunization “experts” like Professor Jenny McCarthy, who “protect” our urchins from the pandemic of immunization-caused autism. This measles outbreak in small-town Texas consists of members of the Eagle Mountain International Church, about half of whom are McCarthyites. NPR
Non-Discriminatory America: If plaintiff Brandi Johnson (a black woman) gets called a you-know-what by her ex-boss, she will win her lawsuit for his hateful tirades, even if her ex-boss is also black and claimed that that gave him a free pass to play. [LINK REPLACED] CNN
More Things to Worry About
The George W. Bush Doctrine (that the U.S. could legally, anticipatorily defend itself even from an “attack” that seems to be mostly in the minds of ‘fraidy cats who always
imagine that America’s about to be attacked): In Titusville, Fla., William Woodward sorta used that principle to say that he did not fire prematurely at the three people he shot last yr. He was just anticipatorily standing his ground. (Bonus: Woodward’s lawyers actually said “Bush Doctrine.”) Florida Today
Officials in Washington City, Utah, have approved constructing a gun range between the Dixie GunWorx store and a women’s domestic-abuse shelter. Natural fear: Gunshots are not what abused women need to hear. GunWorx customers: “Well, if the ladies’d had guns in the first place, problem solved." Salt Lake Tribune
He, Too, Has A Dream: Christopher Cleveland was arrested at the Lincoln Memorial only days after the 50-yr commemoration of The March . . . for taking upskirt pictures of female tourists lounging on the steps. A search of his car turned up 150 PowerPoint presentations (x 30 shots each) of upskirt. [Too much time on his hands. He needs a hobb--Oh, right, a different hobby.] Washington Post
Your Weekly Jury Duty
[In America, you're presumed innocent . . . until the mug shot is released]
No doubt Finn McCool, 38, is guilty of something,
but take a look at this news report for examples of the journalism stylings of Will Greenlee, writing in his super-reader-friendly way. TCPalm.com
Still More Stuff Chuck Learned Last Week
(1) Jian Yang, 33, of Singapore worries that Mattel is de-emphasizing Barbie for Twilight
dolls, insulting his collection of 6,000 Barbies. /// (2) A race-car driver had accelerator trouble but had to complete laps to earn a spot for the next race so his partner jumped onto the engine and worked the accelerator by hand; they finished. /// (3) The London sewer system gets clogged by 40,000 “fatbergs” (congealed lard) a year from fat, oil, and grease. /// (4) Anthony Alleyne, famous long ago for turning his home into a replica of the command room of the Starship Enterprise, was arrested for child porn possession. /// (5) (6) (7) A measurable percent of the world’s problems are caused by squirrels--50 power outages in 24 states so far this yr, or threatening America’s ballistic missile defense, or causing bus crashes.
, (2) mundod.lavoz.com.ar
[Sorry!], (3) Salon.com
, (4) BBC News
, (5) New York Times
, (6) SmithsonianMag.com
[Aug. 30], (7) The Local
Newsrangers: Kathryn Wood and Carl Reine and the News of the Weird Board of Editorial Advisors.