[News] Things to Worry About Today

Religious cult member Ria Ramkissoon had been refusing to testify against Queen Antoinette for her ritual that ultimately killed Ria's son, in that she thought maybe the Queen could resurrect him, but now Ria's driven a hard bargain with Baltimore prosecutors: She'll testify, but they have to agree in writing to drop all charges when her son comes back to life. (Yeah, we can do that, they said.) Washington Post

Is Marc Beaumont, Esq., such a cad that he'd charge his client for the time they spent in bed, or is she (also a lawyer) just nuts (and by the way, how did she ever get any clients at all when her actual name is Anal Sheikh)? Daily Telegraph

U.S.'s World-Famous Higher Education: Northern Illinois Univ. researchers found that people who do consensual S&M have higher stress and testosterone during, but calm down afterward! New Scientist

An arbitrator chastises an employer for "willfully" and over a long period of time violating the venerable Fair Labor Standards Act (the "employer" in this case being, um, the U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission). Washington Post

Worse Sex Life Than Yours: He was arrested after being spotted lying on his back in a dressing room at a Kohl's Department Store peering up at the woman in the next booth. Associated Press via Boston.com

Your Daily Jury Duty
["In America, a person is presumed innocent until the mug shot is released"]
Michael Shoemaker, 42. Doesn't matter what he's charged with. WMAR-TV (Baltimore)

     Posted By: Chuck - Tue Mar 31, 2009

Anal Sheikh Finally! A name befitting the job.

S&M;Study higher stress and testosterone Even the girls?

Fair Labor Standards The findings must be in error, they're the government!

Khol's Sorry girls, but I've seen what shops at Khol's and I REALLY don't think I want to think about what he was seeing.

Jury Duty Come on! This has got to be an early April 1 joke.
Posted by Expat47 in Athens, Greece on 03/31/09 at 11:46 AM
Jury Duty
A little make up and this guy would pass for Bozo.

Guilty...for not having a comb, trimmers or a mirror.
Posted by Madd Maxx on 03/31/09 at 12:46 PM
I had the same thought, Maxx ~ an extremely creepy Bozo the clown. He probably scares himself if he looks in a mirror!
Posted by Skitt in SW USA on 03/31/09 at 01:48 PM
Aw come on Expat, I love Kohls!

Jury Duty - BEST EVER!!! I'm confused, the headline says "3 Family Members Charged" but they only mention 2...
Posted by Jules in Connecticut on 03/31/09 at 01:52 PM
Well, Jules, then maybe I'll SEE you there one day. 😜
Posted by Expat47 in Athens, Greece on 03/31/09 at 01:55 PM
I'll be sure to let you know the next time I'm in Greece 😉
Posted by Jules in Connecticut on 03/31/09 at 01:56 PM
shoemakers son and father were also charged, which makes that 3 generations of shoemakers arrested at once.
Posted by maeganmcg on 03/31/09 at 03:22 PM
wait, i screwed that up. it was him, his younger brother, his father, and his grandfather i think. they were all disorderly.

or maybe i have no idea what im talking about. it happens.
Posted by maeganmcg on 03/31/09 at 03:29 PM
A dog napping! Bozo got busted in a complication for a freaking dog napping. I tried to be good and not look at the crime u when I saw the picture I had to know. My expectations were the usual: pedophile, serial killer, junk bond salesman. But threatening arson because of some weird dog napping case. Classic!
Posted by DownCrisis on 03/31/09 at 09:55 PM
A dog napping! The next Andy Warhol movie.
Posted by Nethie on 04/01/09 at 04:14 AM
Anal Sheikh - What an awesome name for a foreign, gay wrestler.
"Here he comes now, the Rectal Rajah, the Posterior Potentate, the Gluteal Gerent-- it's ANAL SHEIKH!"
Posted by kingmonkey in Athens, Ontario on 04/01/09 at 11:12 AM
That beats thinking about baseball.
Posted by kingmonkey in Athens, Ontario on 04/02/09 at 08:43 AM
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