[News] Things to Worry About Today

Am I the only person who didn't know that a man could "fracture" his penis (i.e., "I heard a pop," the victim said)? In a courtroom this week in Media, Pa., urologist Pierre Ghayad is having to answer for not recognizing the symptoms. Delaware County Daily Times

Alcohol Was Involved: (1) Carlos Lupercio, 49, was sentenced in Lincoln, Neb., to 2-to-4 yrs in prison for shooting at his neighbor with a crossbow to "settle" the dispute over whether his pit bull was a Labrador or not. (2) Three teenagers shot up a trailer home in Lakeville, Minn., Wednesday, apparently because of disappointment that there weren't no women at that-there party they had showed up fer. Associated Press via Yahoo /// Associated Press via WCCO-TV (Minneapolis)

Miracle: Mr. Jory Aebly was shot in the head in Cleveland, Ohio, in February, and no doctors, none, gave him any chance of survival, yet he was discharged this week, and now the hospital chaplain's endorphins are in overdrive because he had "treated" Aebly with a rosary once extra-specially blessed by Pope John Paul II. ABC News

Texas Justice: They don't do "death penalty" cases very well, but they nailed this one: The State Commission on Judicial Conduct charged Judge Gustavo Garza with improper sentencing, i.e., he would waive a $500 fine for parents of truants if they'd spank their kids (clothed) right there in the courtroom. Associated Press via KENS-TV (San Antonio)

Your Daily Loser
It says here that a woman was arrested when she tried to leave a Schnucks grocery store in the St. Louis suburb of Arnold with $1,200 worth of shoplifted stuff but might have gone free had she (a) tried to leave via the correct automatic door rather than the one that wouldn't open for her, or (b) not made such a scene about the door not opening and just quietly eased over to the correct door. Naturally, she did neither. KSDK-TV (St. Louis)

Your Daily Jury Duty
["In America, a person is presumed innocent until the mug shot is released"]
David Brown, 48, Oak Hill, Fla., charged in a strange arrangement: Looks like there was kinda a neighborhood community tanning bed in a "shed" in his back yard, and neighbor girls used it, and then there was a secret camera in there. [Ed.: I dunno. That's what it sounds like. It's a small, rural town so maybe tanning beds are scarce.] Orlando Sentinel

Today's Newsrangers: Paul Pruitt, Willy Carswell, Phil Carhart
     Posted By: Chuck - Fri Apr 03, 2009

Cracked Cock - I suppose if the penis were erect, one could rupture the blood-filled tissue, thus 'breaking' a penis. Now, pardon me while I cross my legs and wince.

Miracle - Listen closely. That's the sound of me rolling my eyes.
Posted by kingmonkey in Athens, Ontario on 04/03/09 at 04:09 PM
Fractured penis ~ sooooo glad I'm a girl. (but I did get sympathy pains)

Carlos ~ shot the guy over whether his dog was a lab or pit bull? How drunk do you have to be not to tell those two breeds apart? I mean, come on!!

Shoplifter~ stupid, stupid and even more stupid. But hey, nice try. Too bad she won't get to enjoy all those rib eyes & lobsters she probably had in her cart.

Tanning bed ~ hmmm, the video being installed to catch the fridge thief might be plausible... but he looks like a perv so he must be GUILTY !!
Posted by Skitt in SW USA on 04/03/09 at 05:37 PM
Bentadick Bent, hell! I broke it! This old, old (circa 1960) joke makes this not a new thing plus McSteamy broke his on Gray's Anatomy plus it showed up in the last episode of ER too. So, yes, Chuck, you were among the last to learn of this. 😉

Shootin' up a trailer With no women there what else was there to do? Deliverance was just a movie!

Blessed rosary You can buy a "pope blessed rosary" on every street corner in Rome. And, yes, they were blessed by the pope on the previous Sunday morning while some guy is standing in St. Peter's Sq. holding a carton of them and the pope is at the window 4 stories up and 1/4 mile away. Such power!

Spank the kids Sounds like that decision was financially motivated! But I agree. The parents should be the ones who get the beating.

$1,200 shoplifting What the @#$#$ could she conceal around her person that cost $1,200 in a supermarket?
Posted by Expat47 in Athens, Greece on 04/04/09 at 05:08 AM
I especially enjoyed the debating style of a guy who was posting comments on the spanking story on the newspaper's website. Every time someone else posted a comment, he would just reply to it with his original comment. Hard to argue with a broken record.
Posted by Nethie on 04/04/09 at 01:10 PM
The upshot of the "fractured penis" case was an acquittal of the defendant. The plaintiff went limp when the jury returned its verdict.
Posted by macsking on 04/05/09 at 01:33 AM
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