Santa Claus is Dead

Hate to break the news to everyone, but Santa Claus died on December 23, 1985 of congestive heart failure. Santa was born in 1927 with the name Leroy Scholtz. He grew up to become the most dedicated mall Santa of all time. He liked the job so much that in 1980 he legally changed his name to Santa C. Claus. has a copy of his 1985 death certificate.

Rudolph the Reindeer is also dead. He died of shock in 2005 when two F-16s from the Danish Air Force flew overhead. I assure you, this is a true story.

Along similar lines, I like this 1993 headline from the Dallas Morning News: "Funeral home inviting kids to come visit Santa." The article explains that the funeral home director, Dan Hiett, came up with the idea of inviting kids to sit on Santa's lap in the foyer of the funeral home because "Not every child has the opportunity to go to the mall."
     Posted By: Alex - Tue Dec 09, 2008
     Category: Death | Holidays

I thought Santa died when he fell off of Tim Allen's roof?
Posted by Madd Maxx on 12/09/08 at 08:23 AM
No, it was 1994. I don't think Tim Allen was all that popular in '85.
Posted by Madd Maxx on 12/09/08 at 08:58 AM
Well if the lines are too long at the mall, I suppose I could track down that funeral home and head there.
Posted by KW in Dallas, TX on 12/09/08 at 10:11 AM
SANTA'S DEAD???!!! and you want me to visit him at a Funeral Home? While we eat Reindeer Steaks??
Posted by avmayes614 in the wt"F"-State on 12/09/08 at 10:26 AM
"... also, the Easter Bunny doesn't exist, and mommy's not coming home after her extended vacation with her 'friend' Peter."
Posted by kingmonkey in Athens, Ontario on 12/09/08 at 10:29 AM
Yea, avmayes614, it's called a wake!
Posted by Expat47 in Athens, Greece on 12/09/08 at 11:13 AM
If he legally changed his name, why does the death certificate say AKA Santa C. Claus?
Posted by Madd Maxx on 12/09/08 at 12:46 PM
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