Second WEIRD UNIVERSE Contest!!!

Welcome to the Official Second WEIRD UNIVERSE Contest. Those of you who recall the first one might remember that it was too short and mired in controversy. We aim to remedy that this time around.

First, though, to get you all excited, let's discuss the prize.

We've debated before on WU whether Germans possess a sense of humor. Now I can prove they do! There's a book about it! You'll see its title page immediately below. (What does not show is the copyright, which is 1903. So perhaps the question of whether the Germans have any sense of humor after starting two World Wars remains open.)


Want a sample of the contents? Here it is! (Please pardon the blurring on the RH page. I think it's still readable enough for our purposes.)


Weren't those hilarious kneeslappers? The winner of the contest will get 300 pages of similar material, delivered to him or her in a genuine DiFi Mailart Envelope!

Now, onto the contest itself.

We're stealing a trick from THE NEW YORKER. Below is an old cartoon from PUNCH. I've removed the caption. Your job is to provide a new one.

Here are the technical details.

1) Offer your new caption in the Comments section of this thread.

2) You have approximately 24 hours in which to play, from the time this post goes up.

3) When all the entries are submitted, I will declare a halt to submissions and compose a new post, repeating the entries in the main body of the post.

4) The readers of WU will vote for a winner! I will attempt to embed one of those online poll widgets via Polldaddy. But if I can't, you'll vote in the Comments section of the new post, and I'll tabulate manually.

5) Voting itself will last 24 hours from the arrival of the second post with the choices.

Got all that? Okay, start composing!

     Posted By: Paul - Tue Feb 17, 2009
     Category: Weird Universe | Contest

Actually, Marge, he does have a dick; I just don't let him use it.
Posted by Expat47 in Athens, Greece on 02/17/09 at 11:52 AM
He's been like that ever since he invented that vibrator thingy.
Posted by Expat47 in Athens, Greece on 02/17/09 at 11:56 AM
Don't look so glum dear, we agreed to let you watch.
Posted by Jules in Connecticut on 02/17/09 at 12:36 PM
Darling, do you think that asshole Madd Maxx is going to cause problems with this contest like he did with the first one?
Posted by Madd Maxx on 02/17/09 at 12:37 PM
How many times do I have to tell you honey? It doesn't matter what you put on your Christmas list. There is no Santa.
Posted by Madd Maxx on 02/17/09 at 12:48 PM
Honey, Elizabeth and I are going upstairs to munch on each others rugs. Could you be a dear and let us know when Top Chef comes on?
Posted by Madd Maxx on 02/17/09 at 12:50 PM
Don't worry, Alice. Once your married you can stop sucking him.

Sweetie, remember when we used to have oral sex? Hee hee!
Posted by Madd Maxx on 02/17/09 at 12:52 PM
Don't be mad at me because I said was I was inviting Julia over for pancakes, and this wasn't what you had in mind.
Posted by Matt in Florida on 02/17/09 at 12:58 PM
George likes working those silly sudoku puzzles. Hee hee. Silly man, those things will never be popular.
Posted by Madd Maxx on 02/17/09 at 01:01 PM
Hopefully someone will invent a pill one day to take care of Richard's limp problems.
Posted by Madd Maxx on 02/17/09 at 01:32 PM
You sir! Guess which one of us is the lady and get a prize.
Posted by Malk on 02/17/09 at 02:54 PM
Dearest Casanova,
Something went terribly wrong...
Posted by Cfx on 02/17/09 at 05:08 PM
No, Honey, she's MY Valentines Day present! You already had your little "private phone call," remember?
Posted by Dave Hanford on 02/17/09 at 05:47 PM
Don't worry, Jules. Madd Maxx is just mad that we played pancakes without him.
Posted by KW in Dallas, TX on 02/17/09 at 08:50 PM
Woman on right - "Honey, I know you are a sad case, but please stop writing jokes in base 13."
Posted by DownCrisis on 02/18/09 at 04:24 AM
Jeff dear, are you trying to pen another "God exists" response to Madd Maxx?
Posted by Madd Maxx on 02/18/09 at 07:48 AM
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