[News] Chuck’s Links for Wednesday, April 22, 2009

A new English-language e-zine, Jihad Recollections, gives tips to mujahadeen on how to eat right and exercise, to be a lean, ripped machine for killing all those enemies of Islam. (Imagined by ABC News reporter: "[Darling,] Do I look fat in this suicide vest?") ABC News

Back on the research radar: the fact that scorpion venom kills the cells of brain cancer (now that Univ. of Washington scientists have found "nanoparticles" that deliver the venom to just the right place). [Ed. "Nanoparticle" is scientific jargon for "some ultra-tiny-something that can't possibly be real and therefore you have to just trust us, OK?'"] KSL-TV (Salt Lake City)

I Don't Think So: A fired information-systems guy said the porn on his office computer must have been downloaded by someone else (all 24,000 images, organized into file directories). Atlanta Journal-Constitution

Internet Queen Susan Boyle, the frumpy Scottish singer, has been offered $1m by porn company Kick Ass Films of Los Angeles if she'll give up her virginity on camera. New York Daily News

Recurring Theme: Parking meter collectors do embezzle coins from time to time, but in Alexandria, Va., William Fell, 61, is The Man! ($170k in one year, probably four tons' worth, stored in his home) Washington Post

A crook who needs seasoning: stole iPods and computers from the Wal-Mart where he worked but then posted them for sale on the employee bulletin board. Billings Gazette (Billings, Mont.)

And another one: Teenager breaking into cars at 1 a.m. was so surprised that a uniformed cop was still in one of them, just coming off-duty, that right there on the spot, the boy got the runs. (Seriously.) Deseret News (Salt Lake City)

Town officials in Webster, N.Y. [CORRECTION: Mass.], would like you to know that the nearby lake is "Lake Chargoggagoggmanchauggagoggchaubunagungamaugg," not "Lake Chargoggagoggmanchaoggagoggchaubunaguhgamaugg." Associated Press via Boston Herald

[Jury Duty] Mr. Tahl Fishman, 35, Cleveland, Ohio, might or might not have tried to lure a 10-yr-old girl (via the Internet) for sex. Plain Dealer

Today's Newsrangers: Tom Barker, Kevin Tohill, Harry Farkas, Scott Langill, Tom Burnett

     Posted By: Chuck - Wed Apr 22, 2009

Also unlike love, if you'd gotten more nanoparticles as a child, it wouldn't have at all affected your lack of sense of humor as an adult....>.>
Posted by Jmonkeh on 04/22/09 at 08:46 AM
Hey! No making fun of Susan, she's my hero :D
Posted by Nethie on 04/22/09 at 09:38 AM
What could she possibly be singing that would make watching her worth the effort?
Posted by Jules in Connecticut on 04/22/09 at 12:31 PM
Scorpion Venom - Hey, its cool they can find a use for that. I know one of medications is derived from Brazillian pit viper venom (yummy!). Funny how a group of animals I dislike so much is now helping me.

And nanoparticles?
'Nuff said.
Posted by DownCrisis on 04/22/09 at 01:12 PM
:lol: Ha! Fishman! Lure! No puns necessary!

😠 Guilty
Posted by DownCrisis on 04/22/09 at 01:13 PM
Jules wrote: What could she possibly be singing that would make watching her worth the effort?

It's not so much what she is singing, but how she sings it. She walks out on stage, a chubby, unkempt, self-proclaimed 47 year old spinster. The audience rolls their eyes and laughs when she says she wants to be a professional singer. And then she starts to sing. Watch the seven minute video on Youtube. It will make you think twice about judging a book by its cover.
Posted by Nethie on 04/22/09 at 01:32 PM
Unless your comment was about watching her in a porno, Jules. In that case, there's really no answer other than teh internetz will watch porno of ANYTHING.
Posted by Jmonkeh on 04/22/09 at 04:27 PM
That's not my porn!!! Riiiiigghht....


PARKING METERS - DAMN! $170,000!! I used to watch that show "Parking Wars" which is about the Pennsylvania Parking Authority. They kept theft to a minimum by rotating zones. That way if one person collects significantly less money than everyone else did when they did the route, they're probably stealing. I think perhaps they were not employing such methods here?

WAL-MART THIEF - Stupid. That is all. Just stupid.

PANT POOPING - Hey, I poop my pants. All the cool guys poop pants!

LAKE WHATEVERTHEHELL - As a Native, I can't help but wonder if this is just another one of those made up 'indian sounding' names that white town often come up with to try and generate tourism. (Yes they had tourism over 100 years ago).
Posted by MohawkWarrior on 04/22/09 at 05:29 PM
Oops! I just realized I missed the part about the parking meter guy going around at 3 in the morning.
Posted by MohawkWarrior on 04/22/09 at 05:33 PM
Well, Mr. Fishman won't be needing those fifty pound shoes. If he tries to escape the law, his face will bounce and break his neck.
Posted by lostinthevalleygirl on 04/22/09 at 05:46 PM
Send Fishman to prison, put him in Gen Pop, and tell everybody what he did. Problem solved.
Posted by stpatme on 04/23/09 at 02:15 AM
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