News of the Weird / Plus, June 1, 2015

News of the Weird / Plus
June 1, 2015 (Part 1) [weird stuff that made me excited (frightened) (ROTFL) (appalled) last week, some of which will appear in News of the Weird soon] [Part 1 on Monday, Part 2 on Tuesday]

Brilliant! Researchers contrived a test that showed that caterpillars avoid becoming prey for birds by contorting themselves into shapes that resemble bird caca. Science

Not yet a full "constitutional" right, but the trade association of adult establishments is explicitly pushing it: the right of gov’t workers to patronize strip clubs. (The Pentagon’s inspector general wants a rule demanding that officials not use their gov’t credit cards there, even if they routinely repay the personal tabs.) Washington Post

Of course! Proctologists-in-training need to practice, and it’s difficult to get volunteer ream-ees. Hence, “Patrick,” the robot butt! He has four sensors and speaks a script indicating that he needs to be talked through the procto process (y'know, so doctors can practice calming him).

New York City 6th-grade teacher Claudia Tillery beat a rap in 2011 for sex with a student--but beat it entirely on one of those legal technicalities that drive people crazy. And now, chutzpah! She wants her job back. Daily Mail (London)

Dilemma: Imprisoned murderer Michelle-Lael Norsworthy, 51 (and formerly Jeffrey Norsworthy), ordered for parole after 28 yrs in prison, now either has to figure out how to stay locked up for a while longer or figure out how to pay for his gender reassignment surgery that was about to be dispensed on the gov't's dime if he had stayed in. Associated Press via ABC News

The great state of Tennessee hired a design firm to create a new state logo. $46,000. The winner: Well, as you can see when you click the link, it’s . . uncomplicated . . understated. $46,000. [ed.: This is the Way The World Works. So much institutional business is paying money just for the purpose of letting officials/bureaucrats cover their wazoos from criticism, i.e., “It's not a stupid logo; we hired professionals to do it!”] WSM-TV (Nashville)

“Perp Cam”: Someone KO’d--out cold!--the guardian of the safe at Pla-Mor Lanes in Decatur, Ill., and made off with $2,100. Difficulty: Pretty sure that video shows her hitting herself on the head with a bowling ball and then lying still for 13 minutes until someone found her. Herald-Review (Decatur)
     Posted By: Chuck - Mon Jun 01, 2015

Proctology- Wasn't there just a story about a Florida college that required its students to give each other pelvic exams? I imagine that budding proctologists should have the same experience.

Tennessee - drawing the logo didn't require $46K, but getting just the right shades of red and blue, and choosing the perfect font took many long hours of research. Oh, and the thickness of the white border I'm sure took weeks to get just right.
Posted by RobK on 06/01/15 at 12:04 PM
Proctology-Way back in my grad school days I had a friend that was in 1st year med school. For the proctology hands-on lab they hired some student who spent a good bit of the payment getting drunk prior to the proceedings. My friend was twentieth or so in line (out of a couple dozen) and reported that the guy was "pretty mellow and really well lubed"
Posted by crc on 06/01/15 at 12:24 PM
The new TN logo is stupid, but the $46,000 is for performing due diligence and to retain specialists in BS (bureaucrats are expert at BS, but for things which might end up in court, it's best to have specialists in a particular field).

Some years ago, there was a big hassle about Nebraska Public Television and Nashville Public Television using a similar font for the same three letters. I don't remember which was used first, but the fact that the second was designed in-house played against them.

If 'Texas Noses" or "Tibetan Nunchucks" decides to sue, the design firm has a record of their searches of trademarked logos and a detailed list of the most salient points, stylistically, artistically, and conceptually, in which the new logo is significantly different.
Posted by Phideaux on 06/01/15 at 02:45 PM
Proctology - If they had read Samuel Clemen's 'Tom Sawyer ' for the fence painting episode, they should charge for the honour. It's all in how you sell it.
Posted by BMN on 06/01/15 at 02:59 PM
Robobutt- It does make sense, I don't even like the idea of getting my hair cut by a cosmetology student.

TN- They should have went with one of the assorted existing ones. They bought a pig in a poke.

Robbery- Balls I say!
Posted by Patty in Ohio, USA on 06/01/15 at 09:43 PM
Proctology: Punch Line: So the bear snatches up the hunter for the 3rd time and says, "You're really not here for the hunting, are you?"

--- gone for coffee ---
Posted by Expat47 in Athens, Greece on 06/01/15 at 11:33 PM
Uncle Sam's credit cards,

Well being a former federal employee and supervisor there are some very specific rules on using Uncles C.C. Like only needed and necessary purchases for your job. travel, authorized moving expenses tools, equipment etc. Or 5000 gallons of fuel oil for the agency ship. All with in reason and authorized except in urgent or emergency situations. I once rented 10 full-size SUVs and pickups for a post Katrina response team on mine. A supervisor is suppose to review and sign off on monthly statements along with a charge number. Now one woman was using it on the home shopping network and we had a little chat about her future employment. Another not to bright one was using it for home improvements. Being his second offense I just took the card away.

Now if you are back from the overseas wars and using it to charge lap dances, oriental massages (steam and cream), medicinal alcohol along with a hourly therapist named "Honey" to lessen the stress of overseas deployment/combat at the local strip clinic, that might be acceptable to DOD or the VA for therapy, but I think not.
Posted by Gator Guy on 06/02/15 at 08:19 PM
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