News of the Weird / Pro Edition (February 8, 2011)

News of the Weird/Pro Edition
You're Still Not Cynical Enough

Below The Fold
Prime Choice Cuts of Underreported News from Last Week, Hand-Picked and Lightly Seasoned by Chuck Shepherd
February 8, 2011
(datelines January 29-February 5) (links correct as of February 7)

Undignified Deaths: Wade Westbrook, 26, fatally bitten by a copperhead because he was determined to ascertain its gender, and Jose Ochoa, 35, fatally stabbed by the leg blade attached to his fighting rooster. Reuters via Yahoo News /// Bakersfield Californian

We're So Old Now, Folks . . .: Alpha Cradle-Robber Mary Kay LeTourneau is now a grandmother (via her earlier son, not the two daughters she's had with her boy-toy/husband, who are now 12 and 13). Associated Press via WLS Radio (Chicago)

Otago University (Japan) scientists say Labrador retrievers are so heroic that they can detect colon cancer by smelling breath (95% success) and stools (98%). New Zealand Press Association via New Zealand Herald

The least popular kid in kindergarten three years ago just won $350,000 as a lawsuit settlement for his humiliation. (He has Asperger's syndrome, but his classmates and teacher just thought he was a screw-up, and voted him off the island. Still, humiliation continues to be an uncompensated activity in most schoolrooms.) South Florida Sun-Sentinel

We Have Too Much Federal Regulation? The sewer system of Gary, Ind., overflows a third of the year, every year, into the Little and Grand Calumet rivers. The feds say they have been meaning to do something about that. WBBM-TV (Chicago)

Virginia Has Standards! Del. Jackson Miller's bill (to permit machine guns to be carried as concealed weapons) failed to make it out of committee. Virginian-Pilot (Norfolk)

Sounds Like a Joke: Here's the password (before it was changed!) for the hard-up, job-seeking alumni of Lewis & Clark Law School (Portland, Ore.) to access the online employment board: fail8ure

Once again, the world has produced someone who accomplishes something it would never occur to the rest of us to accomplish. David Morice has written a 1,00010,000-page-long poem. (Bonus: The University of Iowa published it.)

They play hardball city politics in Raleigh, N.C. David Cox and his neighbors went beyond just asking for two residential neighborhood traffic lights; they petitioned, with maps, diagrams, and traffic projections. Their reward: The town's chief traffic engineer reported them to the state for "engineering" without a license (Seriously). News & Observer

Swedish Affirmative Action for Recovering Perverts: A convicted pedophile was discovered to be running three private schools in the Stockholm area. Oops, yaaa, our bad, said the country's education minister. The Local (Stockholm)

Not what you're thinking: [Headline in the The Press of Atlantic City: "Showboat Casino Hotel to Become First Dog-Friendly Casino in Atlantic City"] (Nope, they're still not allowed seats at the poker tables.) The Press of Atlantic City

Entry-Level Web Editor on Duty: This lady [mugshot] was arrested for drug-possession, and police apparently found additional drugs in her hoo-hah when she was booked. Then she made bail. Still, the headline could be something other than "Alleged Vagina Smuggler Leaves Jail." After all, she was smuggling drugs. WBBH-TV (Fort Myers, Fla.) [headline is at the video link]

Finally, the people at, showing their prowess at Search Engine Optimization, took a law, or proposed law, in Malawi that makes pollution a crime, and wondered whether police would be issuing fines to farters. Magnificent. Reuters

     Posted By: Chuck - Tue Feb 08, 2011

animal eliminations- the new darwin award catagory

granny- maybe her younger 2 can find teachers of their own and settle down.

labrador retrievers- yet another reason that labs are the most awsome dogs ever!

aspbergers- this kind of craziness is the only chance we have at schools stopping the misery of bullying. of course they will take it too far, they alwaysdo, but something must be done.

sewer- if it was a private land owner or farmer the epa would be up their ass and fine them into oblivion.

fail8ure- truth in advertising there.

1000pg poem- i read the unabridge version of the stand by stephen king, over a 1000 pgs. but somehow i doubt the poem would hold my attention the same way.

engineering- the public servant that turned in tax paying citizens for their informed opinion about their own neighborhood should be fired immediately.

swedish pedo- glad we aren't the only ones who's left hand has no idea what the right is doing.

vagina smugglers- it makes me think of girls dressed as guys sneaking into a prison for unapproved conjugal visits. lol!

fart fines- never happen, men are in charge and they do most of the farting!
Posted by Patty in Ohio, USA on 02/08/11 at 08:26 PM
1: See! I told you it isn't call a "hoo-hoo".
2: You don't want to cast aspersions on my Tibetan Spaniel, do you?
3: SK was a great novelist until he started writing screen plays!
4: Men "fart" and women just "toot"? Is that the picture?

School Bullying IMHO, things went to hell in a hand basket when they took the teachers' corporal punishment option away.

I 2ed GirlGenious' remark.
Posted by Expat47 in Athens, Greece on 02/09/11 at 12:29 AM
correct you are my dear.
sk is too detail oriented sometimes but i still like him, dean koontz is better.
men are far gassier than women and far prouder of it too in my experience.
love ya expat!
Posted by Patty in Ohio, USA on 02/09/11 at 03:40 AM
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