Nigerian Pen Pals


Wait a minute--my spam filters are all set up to protect against "Nigerian pen pals!" Not to vilify a whole country just on account of a few million citizens who are scammers, but I don't think Nigeria would be my first choice when seeking global camaraderie.

But if you're interested, here you go.
     Posted By: Paul - Mon Feb 04, 2013
     Category: Crime | Foreign Customs | Africa

While I don't want to make fun of someone trying to master English, in my estimation one of the hardest languages on the planet, the fractured syntax, misspellings, unnecessary capitalization and garbled grammar always put me off when one of these messages used to land in the spambox.

For a good time, visit Hilarity abounds!
Posted by KDP on 02/04/13 at 12:45 PM
I am the attorney for the late Col. Mustard, who tragically died along with all of his dependents in the conservatory, budgeoned to death by a lead pipe. He had no other dependents and he left $60 million dollars which I am seeking to protect from the greedy government. My investigations have revealed that you are a trustworthy person, and I propose that if you assist me to move the estate to your country, we split the amount evenly. Please send your contact information, your social insurance number, all your banking information and all passwords to my address, and we can proceed quickly.

I think this is helping my written English.

Your Lagos Pen Pal.
Posted by Harvey on 02/04/13 at 06:50 PM
Harvey--you convinced me! I will instantly wire all my savings!
Posted by Paul on 02/04/13 at 08:52 PM
Harvey, I didn't know you were from Nigeria!
Posted by Patty in Ohio, USA on 02/04/13 at 09:52 PM
@Harvey: We DESPERATELY need your e-mail, SSAN, and mother's middle name so we can send you the money.
Posted by Expat47 in Athens, Greece on 02/04/13 at 11:37 PM
What an offensive post. Do you know anyone from Nigeria? Or do you genuinely believe the whole country is corrupt? Perhaps if you took up writing to someone from Nigeria it might help take your blinkers off.
Posted by dumbledoor on 02/05/13 at 04:50 AM
I'm afraid to take my blinkers off 'cause I might just decide to send them my money!

BTW, who still knows what "blinkers" are?
Posted by Expat47 in Athens, Greece on 02/05/13 at 05:46 AM
Now, now, Dumbledoor, please allow me some satirical hyperbole. I would be happy to befriend an honest Nigerian citizen, or even visit the country, were it not for their endlessly exploding oil pipelines and brutal dictatorship.
Posted by Paul on 02/05/13 at 10:54 AM
Come on dumbledoor, we make fun of all kinds of stuff around here. Of course no offense is meant to honest Nigerians, but as Paul pointed out, they have better (or worse) things to worry about than us joking around here on WU.
Posted by Patty in Ohio, USA on 02/05/13 at 09:38 PM
Actually, Dumbledoor, my oldest and dearest friend is a Nigerian now living in the US who sends me samples of implausible scams that find their way into his mailbox. He is also the best letter writer/pen pal I have ever known. He laments the corruption that is widespread in Nigeria, as have other of my friends who have worked there.

But your point is well taken about stereotyping. Of course, the vast majority of Nigerians are not corrupt (if for no other reason than most people don't have that option available to them) and struggle daily to survive.

But the scamsters' pitches do make for amusing reading.
Posted by Harvey on 02/05/13 at 10:54 PM
I believe those were blinders not blinkers and these days people wear blindfolds and just listen to the TV.
Posted by John Church on 02/10/13 at 11:05 AM
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