The High-Tipping Priest, Freelance Superheroes, Traumatic Insemination

News of the Weird Daily
Monday, December 29, 2008

One of New York City's highest-tipping clubgoers is an Episcopal priest
Well, he also has a side business selling meds for hemophiliacs. "I work hard. I make good money. How I spend it, that's my business," said Fr. Gregory Malia, 43, who drives in often from his Pennsylvania parish. Once, he bought a"$35k" bottle of champagne at the club, which came with an auto-tip of $7k for the server, and he kicked in another $10k for the lady. Apparently, there's good Blue Cross money in hemophilia meds (and Blue Cross sued to get some of it back). New York Daily News
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Free-lance superheroes on the loose
In Orlando, a 'hood is patrolled by Master Legend and the Ace; in Arizona, it's the Green Scorpion; in Mountain View, Calif., the Eye; and that's just a few, according to the World Superhero Registry. No eccentric billionaires on the list. Just caped crusaders taking on crime. Rolling Stone
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The "traumatic insemination" of the female deep-sea squid
It's pitch black more than a mile down, so it's hard to find a mate anyway, but then for the smaller male, it's a demolition derby to get the sperm inside the female, and she finds the experience so awful that she gives motherhood just one shot, period. Said one researcher, "Reproduction is no fun if you're a squid." For one thing, the sperm deposit can be 3% of the female's total body weight. For another, in some species, there's no receptacle; the male just slashes her open somewhere and shoves the sperm in with his up-to-3-ft-long penis. For another, he could miss and accidentally stab himself, because it's dark. Spiegel Online
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NATO allies make Afghanistan safe for, er, dogfighting
The Taliban outlawed it, but it's back, twice a week in Kabul and in other places, a centuries-old tradition crucial to owners' community bragging rights. One saving grace: The dogs (mostly mastiff breeds) don't fight to the death, but just until one taps out (backs off, tail between legs). New York Times
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Making diesel fuel from liposuctioned fat
Here's where Hollywood can go genuinely green (and not just fatuously bluster): A Beverly Hills surgeon said he's turned patients' fat into fuel for his and his girlfriend's SUVs (a gallon for a gallon). That'd be even better than rich women's lipo'd fat being used to make beauty soap sold to rich women, as in Fight Club. There's a problem with the surgeon, though, 'cause he's in some litigation trouble and might be just blowing smoke. Maybe it's legit, though. Forbes
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DIY genetic engineering: It's not rocket science, apparently
Ordinary biology majors, using store-bought equipment, are supposedly doing rudimentary life-form-altering in their own basements. Right now, it's just stuff like transfering the fluorescent gene into forms where it doesn't belong, but you're entitled to get a little nervous here. Associated Press via Yahoo
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Luckily, the public orgy scheduled for Tel Aviv has been canceled
Our friends the Raelians (the sexuality-intensive "religion" based on strange visitors from another planet) (no, not the e-meter people, the other guys) had hoped to bring 250 people together to all have happy endings at the same time on January 22 to show the power of the orgasm to foster world peace. And this was way before Israel attacked Gaza! So now, if the orgy were still on, they'd surely need more than 250 orgasms to whip such a massive military show. Ynet News (Tel Aviv)
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F State gov't workers pile onto a public-treasury-busting loophole
NOTW reported last yr that a high official in one county had officially retired, sat out 30 days, and come back at the same job with the same pay (in addition to his full retirement benefits). In some states, once word got out like that, "the people" would have repaired the loophole. In the F State, not so much. There are now at least 9,397 people frolicking in the loophole, including 220 elected officials and a few high-ranking state judges. St. Petersburg Times
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Editor's Note
For this holiday week, the daily news feed will be limited to Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, with five-day posting returning Monday, January 5th. News feeds will continue to be in two parts, with the familiar regular features ("Your Daily Jury Duty") in the afternoon posts. Onward!
     Posted By: Chuck - Mon Dec 29, 2008

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