The Passing of a Legend, Plus Our Favorite Oxen (Barack and Tim)

News of the Weird Daily
Wednesday, February 11, 2009 [part one]

Willie Windsor, r.i.p.
Jeez, I just resurrected the story three weeks ago as one of my weekly News of the Weird Classics (from 2005), but maybe you missed it:

Willie Windsor, 54, of Phoenix, Ariz., has for several years lived as a full-time baby, wearing frilly dresses, diapers, and bonnets, sucking on a pacifier, eating Gerber cuisine, and habitually clutching a rag doll, in a home filled with oversized baby furniture. According to a long Phoenix New Times profile in June, the diaper is not just a prop. Windsor said he worked hard to learn to become incontinent, even chaining the commode shut to avoid temptation, and the reporter admitted feeling “disconcert[ed]” that Windsor might be relieving himself at the very moment he was describing his un-toilet training. Apparently, Windsor’s brother, ex-wife, girlfriend, and a neighbor tolerate his lifestyle (though no girlfriend has yet been willing to change his diapers). Windsor is a semi-retired singer-actor and said he’s been celibate for 9 years. [Phoenix New Times, 6-9-05]

Last month, Willie, 57, went to the great bassinet in the sky. His body was found on the 30th, but it was decomposed, so he could have died any time after his last public sighting, attending a musical in Phoenix in January in full baby regalia. (Actually, referring to Willie as "he" is improper, in that his infantile name was "HeidiLynn.") Phoenix New Times
Comments 'willie_windsor'

Unclear on the Concept: The law, versus Roger Barnett
Also in Arizona this week is the trial on the federal lawsuit filed by 16 illegal immigrants against rancher Barnett for depriving them of their civil rights in a 2004 incident. And what, exactly, did Barnett do to oppress them? He confronted them at gunpoint, scared 'em, and told 'em to GTF off his ranch. For Barnett's audacity, the illegals are asking $32m (465m pesos). So, what's one to do when thousands of illegals over a 10-yr period choose your private property as their own international highway to the Promised Land? Washington Times
Comments 'roger_barnett'

"Don't do anything I wouldn't do"
Now, the most comical piece of information about the prolific Ms. Nadya Suleman, 33, mother of 14, is that she plans to support her litter by going back to school (the Pelosi stimulus-package student loans, y'know) and getting a degree in . . counseling! Associated Press via CBS News
Comments 'counselor_suleman'

And now a word from America's creditors
Financial advice from Alion Yao, a top-of-the-line feng shui expert (to a seminar of 170 high-rollers in Hong Kong, reported by the Wall Street Journal): Hold out until after January 2010 before considering investing in the U.S. because its economy is an accident waiting to happen, and the primary indicator of that is that both Obama and Geithner were born under the sign of the ox. A pair of oxen is a terrible sign! (Response by us much-smarter Westerners: How silly! The economy is best judged by applying sophisticated quantitative computer models and . . . oh . . . oh, yeah . . ..) Wall Street Journal
Comments 'american_oxen'

Zun Noon's short-lived fantasy come true
Mr. Noon refused to pay four £50 parking tickets issued under the auspices of the Newham Council in East London. And not only that. He took the Council to court for harassing him about those tickets. And not only that. He won a £20,00 judgment (when no Council rep showed up in court). And not only that. He commandeered bailiffs to raid Council offices for computers, etc., to help satisfy the judgment amount. So, what's the catch? When the Council did finally take his lawsuit seriously, it convinced the judge to make Noon give it all back, plus pay the tickets. Daily Mail
Comments 'zun_noon'

Who knew? A Zoroastrian dating service to discourage marriage outside the faith
About 10,000 Americans are Zoroastrians (fewer than 200,000 worldwide), and the hardcore are worried about assimilation, in that Zoros are so mellow and accommodating. Hence, the lovely Roshan Rivetna's matchmaking service pairs up true believers. (The most recent appearance of Zoroastrians in NOTW was their apprehensiveness in India over the declining population of vultures, which help speed up the disappearance of corpses, thus speeding up the soul's ascension to better things.) New York Times /// The Guardian (London) [the vulture angle]
Comments 'zoroastrian_matchmaking'

Your Daily Loser
The F State's David Hampton, 23, who didn't flee very far because he didn't have enough sense to fill his getaway car's fumes-only gas tank car before (or while) robbing that gas station. WWSB-TV (Sarasota)
Comments 'david_hampton'

People Whose Sex Lives Are Worse Than Yours
Lloyd Alexander, 45, was arrested at a Wal-Mart in Shawnee, Kan., when he wasn't able to control himself genitally while staring at a Hot Wheels display in the toy section. He told police he had a Hot Wheels collection at home and, said a police captain, "seemed to be excited" by the toys. Kansas City Star
Comments 'lloyd_alexander'

Your Daily Jury Duty
["In America, a person is presumed innocent until the mug shot is released"]
Teresa Lynn Brock, 45, Dayton, Ohio, might have been trying to pimp out her 19-yr-old daughter over the telephone (and have had a little smack in her pocket). WDTN-TV (Dayton) via WLWT-TV (Cincinnati)
Comments 'teresa_brock'