A Pedophile in Paradise, Plus Pro-Abortion Donuts

News of the Weird Daily (Part I)
Monday, January 19, 2009

Can't Possibly Be True: Hundreds of employers blatantly violate federal law by screwing our soldiers in Iraq
It's as plain as day that employers can't discriminate against their Nat'l Guardsmen et al who get pressed into active duty. Who doesn't know that? But a Des Moines Register investigation revealed that it's happened at least 203 times in Iowa since 9-11, and probably several thousand times nationally, according to Labor Dept. figures. Des Moines Register
Comments 'iowa_employers'

Pedophiles and nudism don't mix—oh, wait, actually . . .
British judge Beverly Lunt has OK'd pedo Robert Enright, 51, to hang out at naturist gatherings even though nekkid kids are running around. There's no "evidence" that Enright got close to any of the under-16s that he's barred from mingling with, and, just to fill you in [Ed.: and never mind how I know this]: Open gatherings of nudists are just about the least-turgidifying events on the planet. Daily Telegraph
Comments 'pedophile_nudist'

The fire chief who moved his whole family into the station
You're just supposed to bunk down there when you're on duty, and then go home when your shift is over, but Chief Robert Bird of the volunteer dept. in Gainesville, Va., moved his wife and autistic daughter in years ago and redecorated the quarters, and nobody seems to mind that much. After all, he's a volunteer. Washington Post
Comments 'family_firehouse'

Krispy Kreme's pro-abortion donuts
Tomorrow, nationwide, the company will give anyone a free donut of his or her choice from the KK inventory, and that fact has really riled up a woman named Judie Brown, head of the American Life League. "The unfortunate reality of a post-Roe v. Wade America is that 'choice' is synonymous with abortion access, and celebration of 'freedom of choice' is a tacit endorsement of abortion rights on demand," she said. Miami New Times
Comments 'abortion_donuts'

The most cynical man in America (also the smartest and now one of the richest)
John Paulson (no relation to Hammerin' Hank) knew back in 2006 that everybody on Wall Street was crazy. Unlike certain other people who knew this, and taught it, and wrote about it, Paulson had the onions to bet money on it with his hedge fund. For the last two years, he's scoured the market for "investments" with which to clean up on the collapse. When the experts initially said there'd be a quick recovery, Paulson knew better and doubled down. When the experts said the recession would be moderate, he doubled down again. And yet because he's profiting on the miseries of today, some people want to add him to the list of genuine villains (such as Kerry Killinger, who practically crucified his Washington Mutual employees if they didn't write a quota of stupid mortgages, or Robert Rubin, whose Citigroup shareholders lost more than 70% of value since he joined the firm and began earning his $115m, yet who admits to even fewer mistakes in 8 yrs [i.e., none] than George W. Bush). Portfolio
Comments 'john_paulson'

Update: Underwater ironing
The record is now 86 scuba divers with ironing boards, simultaneously ironing linen items within a 10-minute period (besting the Guinness Book record of 72). UI is an offshoot of what started as Extreme (legitimate) Ironing, like on mountain peaks, with a real hot iron powered by a generator. Underwater, though, it's hard to get a crease. Daily Telegraph (London)
Comments 'underwater_ironing'

Update: Asexuals push for greater recognition
In fact, several on-the-edge issue groups are likely to try to create buzz this year because 2010 is show time for the revision of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, and people who think they're normal don't want to be in it. (In addition to the stigma, they'd also get a Dewey Decimal-like code number that makes it irresistibly easy for shrinks to bill insurance companies.) The 2004 study that supposedly showed that 1 percent of Brits aren't sexually attracted to anybody should show that the asexuals are just another average interest group. ABC News
Comments 'asexual_respect'

Your Daily Jury Duty
["In America, a person is presumed innocent until the mug shot is released"]
The humble and angelic Zachary Moir, 19, Deltona, Fla., is charged with disrespecting his own mother (throwing a taco at her, over a silly video game). Orlando Sentinel
Comments 'zachary_moir'
     Posted By: Chuck - Mon Jan 19, 2009

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