Chuck’s Hand-Picked Overnight Weird News for Wednesday
The "Holy Hook Up" reality TV show (Seriously)
Pentecostal Bishop Thomas Weeks IIII (apparently, he shuns IV) of Atlanta, who was last reported in News of the Weird laying physical wrath upon the then-Mrs. Weeks in a parking lot, said he's in negotiation for a Survivor-type reality show called, The Holy Hook Up: Who Will Be The Next Mrs. Weeks? (a "very tasteful, five-star presentation," he said). Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Comments 'holy_hookup'
Cutting-edge parenting: Doing your best for your 13-yr-old daughter
Police in Elgin, Ill., are investigating whether the mom tried too hard to get the boyfriend of the girl to get back together with her . . by threatening to put nude photos of the guy on the Internet. (The kids had nude photos of each other, but the ones of her are gone.) Daily Herald (Arlington Heights, Ill.)
Comments 'elgin_parenting'
And the bailout news (in case you've been avoiding it)
(1) The super insurer AIG, which was bailed out on the eve of bankruptcy two weeks ago by the feds' lending it $85 billion, then held an executive retreat the very next week at the fancy St. Regis Resort in California, at a tab of $440k ($23k for spa treatments). (The Smoking Gun has the invoice) (2) And it's small consolation that former Lehman Brothers CEO Richard Fuld (whose company didn't get bailed out and therefore lost its workers their jobs and savings) made the unwise decision to nonetheless do his daily workout at the company gym a few days later, during which one employee cold-cocked him. (3) To you and me, the bill Congress passed last Friday might have been one of those ugly necessities, but, hey, who loved it? Bicyclists! ABC News /// TheSmokingGun.com /// Daily Telegraph /// New York Times
Comments 'bailout_update'
Updates
(1) That Kansas man whose girlfriend was found stuck to the toilet seat in February, uh, just won a $20k state lottery for the second time this year. (2) Those Long Island Rail Road workers who had been retiring on gov't disability scams? Apparently, a lot of 'em were so confident they could paper-up their disabilities that they were buying private disability policies, too. Associated Press via Fox News /// New York Times
Comments 'toilet_andlirr'
Was it a ritual for good luck or just Darwin cutting a player?
Sixteen members of a Zimbabwean soccer team jumped into the Zambezi River, supposedly to cleanse themselves of evil spirits for an upcoming match, but there are crocs in the river, and only 15 made it back. Could be a sign they just needed a faster athlete. Reuters via Yahoo
Comments 'zimbabwe_soccer'
Your Daily Loser
Aarron Evans, 21, who at one time decided to have his name and date of birth permanently tattooed onto his neck, didn't have much of a defense for the charge of driving off with the cops' unmarked bait car (that had a video camera aimed at around the driver's neck). BBC News
Comments 'aarron_evans'
People Whose Sex Lives Are Worse Than Yours
At least this guy in Manitoba was gettin' some, but he said actually, he didn't want to be gettin' it, because he was asleep when the woman hopped on him and inseminated herself (and who now wants child support). Canadian Press via Edmonton Sun
Comments 'inseminate_asleep'
Your Daily Jury Duty
[no fair examining the evidence; verdict must be based on mugshot only]
Consider Mr. Adam Morris, 30, who's being held in upstate New York on a murder warrant from Quebec. Press Republican (Plattsburgh, N.Y.)
Comments 'adam_morris'
Eyewitness News
[news videos goin' around]
I know this is troubling, but if I didn't show you this video of the restaurant where the monkey waits on tables, somebody else'd just trick you into watching it. Reuters
Comments 'monkey_waiter'
More Things to Worry About on Wednesday
Holy Land tensions increase, er, over intellectual property rights . . . . . A new warning about drinking the water in Mexico (around Monterrey, anyway): Not only does Manuel Uribe live there (formerly, 1,230 lbs, recently a svelte 675), but so does Jose Luis Garza (about 990) . . . . . Thank goodness there's an Endangered Species Act to save precious, glorious specimens of nature, like, well, the Atlantic wolffish—Aaaagggghhhhh! Aaaaggghhhhh! Today's Newsrangers: Hal Dunham, Paul Music, Candy Clouston, Jason Newton, David Melcher, Bob Pert, Scott Langill, Joe Littrell, Keith Yearman, Gil Nelson, Stuart Worthington
Comments 'worry_081008'
Pentecostal Bishop Thomas Weeks IIII (apparently, he shuns IV) of Atlanta, who was last reported in News of the Weird laying physical wrath upon the then-Mrs. Weeks in a parking lot, said he's in negotiation for a Survivor-type reality show called, The Holy Hook Up: Who Will Be The Next Mrs. Weeks? (a "very tasteful, five-star presentation," he said). Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Comments 'holy_hookup'
Cutting-edge parenting: Doing your best for your 13-yr-old daughter
Police in Elgin, Ill., are investigating whether the mom tried too hard to get the boyfriend of the girl to get back together with her . . by threatening to put nude photos of the guy on the Internet. (The kids had nude photos of each other, but the ones of her are gone.) Daily Herald (Arlington Heights, Ill.)
Comments 'elgin_parenting'
And the bailout news (in case you've been avoiding it)
(1) The super insurer AIG, which was bailed out on the eve of bankruptcy two weeks ago by the feds' lending it $85 billion, then held an executive retreat the very next week at the fancy St. Regis Resort in California, at a tab of $440k ($23k for spa treatments). (The Smoking Gun has the invoice) (2) And it's small consolation that former Lehman Brothers CEO Richard Fuld (whose company didn't get bailed out and therefore lost its workers their jobs and savings) made the unwise decision to nonetheless do his daily workout at the company gym a few days later, during which one employee cold-cocked him. (3) To you and me, the bill Congress passed last Friday might have been one of those ugly necessities, but, hey, who loved it? Bicyclists! ABC News /// TheSmokingGun.com /// Daily Telegraph /// New York Times
Comments 'bailout_update'
Updates
(1) That Kansas man whose girlfriend was found stuck to the toilet seat in February, uh, just won a $20k state lottery for the second time this year. (2) Those Long Island Rail Road workers who had been retiring on gov't disability scams? Apparently, a lot of 'em were so confident they could paper-up their disabilities that they were buying private disability policies, too. Associated Press via Fox News /// New York Times
Comments 'toilet_andlirr'
Was it a ritual for good luck or just Darwin cutting a player?
Sixteen members of a Zimbabwean soccer team jumped into the Zambezi River, supposedly to cleanse themselves of evil spirits for an upcoming match, but there are crocs in the river, and only 15 made it back. Could be a sign they just needed a faster athlete. Reuters via Yahoo
Comments 'zimbabwe_soccer'
Your Daily Loser
Aarron Evans, 21, who at one time decided to have his name and date of birth permanently tattooed onto his neck, didn't have much of a defense for the charge of driving off with the cops' unmarked bait car (that had a video camera aimed at around the driver's neck). BBC News
Comments 'aarron_evans'
People Whose Sex Lives Are Worse Than Yours
At least this guy in Manitoba was gettin' some, but he said actually, he didn't want to be gettin' it, because he was asleep when the woman hopped on him and inseminated herself (and who now wants child support). Canadian Press via Edmonton Sun
Comments 'inseminate_asleep'
Your Daily Jury Duty
[no fair examining the evidence; verdict must be based on mugshot only]
Consider Mr. Adam Morris, 30, who's being held in upstate New York on a murder warrant from Quebec. Press Republican (Plattsburgh, N.Y.)
Comments 'adam_morris'
Eyewitness News
[news videos goin' around]
I know this is troubling, but if I didn't show you this video of the restaurant where the monkey waits on tables, somebody else'd just trick you into watching it. Reuters
Comments 'monkey_waiter'
More Things to Worry About on Wednesday
Holy Land tensions increase, er, over intellectual property rights . . . . . A new warning about drinking the water in Mexico (around Monterrey, anyway): Not only does Manuel Uribe live there (formerly, 1,230 lbs, recently a svelte 675), but so does Jose Luis Garza (about 990) . . . . . Thank goodness there's an Endangered Species Act to save precious, glorious specimens of nature, like, well, the Atlantic wolffish—Aaaagggghhhhh! Aaaaggghhhhh! Today's Newsrangers: Hal Dunham, Paul Music, Candy Clouston, Jason Newton, David Melcher, Bob Pert, Scott Langill, Joe Littrell, Keith Yearman, Gil Nelson, Stuart Worthington
Comments 'worry_081008'
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