Judgment-Challenged Rapists, Plus Freelance Herpes-Testing

News of the Weird Daily
Monday, January 26, 2009 [part two]

He's a rapist, and he's also tone-deaf
Joseph Pettis, 36, pointed out to the sentencing judge that he was nice to the woman during the ordeal. "It was not excessively brutal, overly monstrous," he said, asking for leniency. And of his crime, "Unfortunately, I was found guilty." Judge: "40 years." Cincinnati Enquirer
Comments 'joseph_pettis'

He's a (statutory) rapist (according to police), and he's also emotionally about age 8 (according to Chuck)
Hattiesburg, Miss., gymnastics coach Zachary Riley, 23, was arrested for fooling around with underage girls, which is not so unusual these days, but, jeez, Zach's MySpace page is! Gross (and Not Safe For Work)! WDAM-TV (Laurel, Miss) /// MySpace page [from TheWeeklyVice.com]
Comments 'zachary_riley'

More Things to Worry About

A Church of Ireland proposal for families of the "Northern Ireland's Troubles," as it's referred to, calls for £12k (about $16,650) per family . . but irrespective of whether the deceased had been a bomber or a bomb-ee. The Guardian

Can you imagine a newspaper editor's glee at finding a carton of eggs in the supermarket with "Allergy Advice: Contains Egg" printed on it? Daily Mail (London)

Records show that Richard Fuld (ex-CEO of Lehman Brothers, blamed by all kinds of potential plaintiffs for riding the company to its September bankruptcy) sold his $13.3m F State mansion in November . . to his wife . . for $100. New York Times

Feel safe in Chicago, knowing that a 14-yr-old boy, in a cop's uniform, walked into a police station and actually talked 'em into putting him on shift in a squad car? Associated Press via Yahoo

Things You Thought Didn't Happen: In Mogadishu, a jam-packed stadium to watch . . a basketball game . . a women's basketball game. Reuters via Yahoo

Sounds Like a Joke: Wealthy man, girlfriend of 10 yrs (and three children), she didn't take the break-up well, demands to be treated as a common-law wife, says he even proposed to her, but he said, Oh, that, yeah, but that was just an April Fool's joke. CTV.com

Comments on Things to Worry About?
Comments 'cycle_090126'

Your Daily Loser
Joshua Isome, 19, and a buddy were arrested in Cincinnati and charged in aggravated robberies and shootings. Joshua's a piece of work, with "you" tattooed under his left eye and that familiar word that often precedes it tattooed under his right eye. Charming. [As of now, no unexpurgated mug shot is available; link goes to one with a black bar over the magic word] WKRC-TV (Cincinnati)
Comments 'joshua_isome'

People Whose Sex Lives Are Worse Than Yours
Muhammed Atif Bhatti, 38, was charged in Bantam, Conn., with the old "I've got to personally check the new au pair for herpes" explanation for genitally examining her. He might have also inspected four of her predecessors. Register Citizen (Torrington)
Comments 'herpes_inspector'

Your Daily Jury Duty
["In America, a person is presumed innocent until the mug shot is released"]
Jason Osborn, 41, Rockaway Beach, Mo., might have shown criminally poor judgment in the deaths of two boys who were surfing and hanging on his car. (There's a sub-plot, but you don't need it, do you?) Springfield News-Leader
Comments 'jason_osborn'

Today's Newsrangers: Ginger Katz, Bruce Leiserowitz, Brian Rokos, Sandy Pearlman, Jerry Whittle, Paul Mahood, Don Schullian, and many finders of the Nigerian goat story
     Posted By: Chuck - Mon Jan 26, 2009

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