Know The Enemy

     Posted By: Paul - Fri Sep 03, 2010
     Category: Public Humiliation | Rants, Warnings, Jeremiads, Prophecies and Cassandra-like Figures | Religion | Self-help Schemes | Urban Life | Psychology





Comments
I didn't see an enemy? Are you really saying Mormon = Enemy?
Posted by Dave Hanford on 09/03/10 at 02:44 PM
When I put my old TV to a static channel I can hear them .. they won't quit talking to me until I put on my "special" tin foil hat.

They're here !! Protect yourself !!
Posted by ANON in Nowhere on 09/03/10 at 05:44 PM
From Mary's Facebook page

Letter to Dr. Laura Schlessinger (Epic!)
by Mary Elizabeth Allen on Friday, September 3, 2010 at 12:09am

If you have been tagged you absolutely need to read this!!! If you can, help me tag others to keep it going.



Dear Dr. Laura,



Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind him that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.



I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the specific laws and how to best follow them.



A) When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev 1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?



B) I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?



C) I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev 15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.



D) Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?



E) I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?



F) A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an Abomination (Lev. 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?



G) Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?



H) Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?



I) I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?



J) My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? (Lev. 24:10-16) Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)



I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help.



Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.
Your devoted disciple and adoring fan
Posted by dorknozzle on 09/04/10 at 12:03 AM
they best be careful what neighborhoods they do this in. gangsta dudes will f them up. do you need me to send you a new roll of foild bd? i don't want you to run out honey! 😉
Posted by Patty in Ohio, USA on 09/04/10 at 12:08 AM
kidding around irene, you should try it sometime or you'll end up with frown lines.
dn that is great dude! thanks for sharing!
Posted by Patty in Ohio, USA on 09/05/10 at 01:13 AM
patty, Glad to share the humor. Let me know when the coast is clear. I don't wish to offend you RE:Mary Elizabeth's comment C to Dr. Schlessinger. Wink

DN 😜
Posted by dorknozzle on 09/05/10 at 12:05 PM
those days are pretty much over for mr my friend. thank god! :cheese:
Posted by Patty in Ohio, USA on 09/05/10 at 12:54 PM
still love ya dumbfounded! 😊
Posted by Patty in Ohio, USA on 09/05/10 at 11:31 PM
patty, It's party time. I'll be right over.

DN
Posted by dorknozzle on 09/05/10 at 11:32 PM
oooooooo :wow:
Posted by Patty in Ohio, USA on 09/05/10 at 11:46 PM
patty,

No one will be the wiser. I'll show up at your door in my Mormon Missionary costume(including sexy Mormon undergarments) riding a ragged out mountain bike covered with pipe insulation and 500 mile and hour tape. I have seen some missionaries use handcuffs for a bicycle lock... Hmmm All locked up with no where to go. Want to see my Book of Mormon baby?

xoxoxo
DN 😊
Posted by dorknozzle on 09/06/10 at 01:47 AM
handcuffs and sexy underwear?! no girl could resist honey. xoxo back at ya! 💋
Posted by Patty in Ohio, USA on 09/06/10 at 02:10 AM
imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.
Posted by Patty in Ohio, USA on 09/06/10 at 01:06 PM
It is interesting that Mormons would create the top post at present.
This link narrates a story of a man who briefly joined the LDS and left. His story relates to information about the history of LDS and it's founders. He states that he was bribed, terrorized and stalked for over thirty years.. Chilling read.

http://mormonzeitgeist.com/node/15

DN
Posted by dorknozzle on 09/08/10 at 12:17 AM
admittedly, i did not read the entire thing dn, but it sounds like a lot of paranoia to me.
Posted by Patty in Ohio, USA on 09/08/10 at 01:11 AM
patty,

These days it's the NWO or the Mossad or Jehovah's Witnesses, Mormons, Bush Obama fake Christians, real Christians etc.. or some other scapegoat that can we can blame externally for our problems. It's a big universe out there and we are but a spec of dust in the grand scheme of things. But does all this stuff really matter?

We have the Church of the Weird here. Let's make the best of it.
Now that's what really matters.

DN ❓
Posted by dorknozzle on 09/08/10 at 01:28 AM
waxing philosophical my friend? yep, we have a pretty good thing going here with a great group of people. it may not be a church, but its a blessing.
Posted by Patty in Ohio, USA on 09/08/10 at 01:32 AM
There is beauty in weird. I like weird as it breaks spelling rules.
I before E except after C.

xoxoxo

DN
Posted by dorknozzle on 09/08/10 at 02:01 AM
xoxoxo back atcha darlin'
Posted by Patty in Ohio, USA on 09/08/10 at 02:04 AM
You should have said "Je ne parle pas Francais aussi."
That'd have confused the hell out of them.
Posted by Dumbfounded on 09/09/10 at 01:54 PM
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