The Fire Escape Parachute
Patented by Benjamin Oppenheimer in 1879
. I wonder if he ever tried testing it.
Be it known that I, Benjamin B. Oppenheimer, of Trenton, in the county of Gibson and State of Tennessee, have invented a new and Improved Fire-Escape, of which the following is a specification.
The accompanying drawing represents a side view of a person with my improved fire escape or safety device, by which a person may safely jump out of the window of a burning building from any height; and land, without injury and without the least damage, on the ground; and it consists of a parachute attached, in suitable manner, to the upper part of the body, in combination with overshoes having elastic bottom pads of suitable thickness to take up the concussion with the ground.
Listed in chronological order. Newest comments at the end.
Personally I'd rather die quickly of tragic decapitation or, at least, a broken neck than be roasted.
Posted by Expat47 in Xanth on 09/22/13 at 08:58 AM
I think the only thing worse would be to have it attached to your genitals.
Posted by BrokeDad in Midwest US on 09/22/13 at 09:15 AM
That won't work, BD, the shoes wouldn't be able to cushion your landing.
Posted by Expat47 in Xanth on 09/22/13 at 09:24 AM
Looks dangerous to me, but definitely better than the alternative as Expat said.
Posted by patty in Ohio, USA on 09/22/13 at 02:31 PM
That's one way to go out in a blaze of glory. Not sure I'd want to be on the clean-up crew. The guy obviously came from marketing, and not physics or physiology.
Posted by Harvey on 09/22/13 at 02:58 PM
Tested and proved by Acme Inc. on W. E. Coyote.
Posted by Kahaar in Liberty Village, Canada. on 09/22/13 at 04:49 PM
LOL!!! That's great!
Posted by patty in Ohio, USA on 09/22/13 at 07:35 PM
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