Chuck’s Hand-Picked Overnight Weird News for Wednesday

Can't possibly be true: A federal prison guard who survived two tours in Iraq was murdered in his first job back because federal prison guards can't carry weapons
Federal policy for guards is to make friends and gain trust, which means not even pepper spray or batons are allowed, and in fact, not even protective vests. Prisoners, of course, are armed to the teeth with homemade stuff, and apparently two of them shanked this defenseless guard. The federal Bureau of Prisons said, Umm, well, gee, we might perhaps, possibly, conceivably, think about amending our policy, maybe. CNN
Comments 'federal_guards'

Heartwarming dad-son reunion after 22 yrs, finding each other, er, serving hard time together in the sexual predator section
Dad: David Gillies, 39, serving life for abducting a young woman and sexually torturing her. Son: David Norris, 22, serving life for attempting to rape an 8-yr-old girl and later killing a man who had taunted him for that. Dad left home right after the kid was born. Daily Record (Glasgow)
Comments 'predator_reunion'

Man sues New York City for not taking care of his impounded car (the one he killed a man with)
Harry Shasho filed a lawsuit for north of $190k for damage to his Bentley, which he said happened while it was in the impound lot, but which the city said happened when he smashed into that pedestrian and killed him in 2005. (Shasho got off easy on that because the guy might have wandered into the street drunk.) Shasho's legal theory: If the city impounds a Ford Focus used in a crime, ehhhh; if the city impounds a Bentley used in a crime, they almost need to assign an attendant. New York Daily News
Comments 'impounded_bentley'

Almost a cliche: one warrant, two busts
Cops in Salina, Kan., quietly surrounded a home in a trailer park, ready to enforce a warrant. The trailer-next-door neighbors, seeing all those cops sneaking around, panic and toss their own drugs out the back window. A double bust! Salina Journal
Comments 'neighbor_trailer'

Spiritual defecator arraigned in Tullytown, Pa.
Sandralee Banks-Kastrup, 40, had been arrested for pooping inside St. Michael the Archangel Church in February in an attempt, she said, to remove a hex from the parish. She told the cops that the problem was that 528 children were buried in a stretch of land between the church and the Dunkin' Donuts. The Intelligencer (Doylestown) [NOTE: semi-stale story from last week]
Comments 'spiritual_defecater'

Your Daily Loser
Darren Mirren is only 16, but he's learning. He sued a commercial cleaning company in Glasgow, Scotland, for not offering him a job and admits, yes, he did fail to show up for the job interview, but that was only because he didn't know how to find the place, which obviously constitutes "age discrimination" by the company. The Scotsman
Comments 'darren_mirren'

People Whose Sex Lives Are Worse Than Yours
Daniel Nelson, 32, was charged in Mount Pocono, Pa., with sticking his cell phone up a little kid's shorts to take a picture. Morning Call (Allentown) [Photo of the perp? Oh, yeah]
Comments 'daniel_nelson'

Your Daily Jury Duty
[no fair examining the evidence; verdict must be based on mugshot only]
It looks bad for James Prevatt III, 26, seein' as how he was so reluctant to come out of that motel room that the police had been surrounding for two days, but the real question is whether he committed that earlier burglary or not. Associated Press via CNN
Comments 'james_prevatt'

More Things to Worry About on Wednesday
A savoir-faire Mexican brewery introduced Malverde beer, named after the country's patron saint of drug traffickers (the company's most recent failed quixotic label: Duff, named for you-know-what) . . . . . Inflation hits Cambodian rat meat (from the equivalent of 13¢/lb last yr to 57¢ this yr) (Bonus: Cambodia exports more than a ton of live rats to Vietnam every day) . . . . . If you see Frankie Lewis at your church's buffet table, and he asks for butter, give it to him ('cause, otherwise, he'll cut you up) [mug shot] . . . . . Thank goodness, Richard Trofatter Jr. might now get the help he needs for his "obsessive compulsive behavior surrounding baseball cards" [mug shot] . . . . . But don't worry any more about whether tongue-kissing a drunk person will drive up your Breathalyzer score; a police commander said it won't. Today's Newsrangers: Jessica McRorie, Wendy Palm, Tom Sullivan, Tom Steman, Paul Music, Robert Bierbricher
Comments 'worry_080827'

Editor's Notes
(1) Attention, all Daily Jurors who would've convicted Otis Hensley Jr. last Thursday [Daily Jury Duty, 8-21-2008]: The prosecutor dropped the charges. Was justice served? [LINK from] (2) Also, the assault charge was dropped for the guy who spanked his 20-yr-old daughter over her $5,000 cell-phone bill [8-8-2008], but on the other hand, I didn't post his photo that day so here it is for you to decide whether yet another perp has been unfairly turned loose. (3) August malaise continues; no posts Thursday or Saturday (but I'll be back on Monday) (which is why the U.S. kicks Europe's butt in productivity—because even though Monday is the "Labor Day" holiday in the U.S., people like me work right through it! U-S-A! U-S-A!).
Comments 'editors_080827'
     Posted By: Chuck - Wed Aug 27, 2008

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