Cow Mattresses

Here at WEIRD UNIVERSE, we're all aware of the danger to humanity that killer cows represent. Is it smart then, I ask, that these ravening beasts should be coddled with Cozy Cow Mattresses? Just look at the smug, even seductive expression on that evil creature's face!
     Posted By: Paul - Fri Oct 24, 2008
     Category: Business | Products | Cows

Cows ARE evil! Thank goodness I'm not the only one who sees it.

Mattress can add extra lactations per cow.<i> How?? Is it a magic mattress with milk-producing capabilities??

<i>Cows will spend most of their time lying on mattress... and eating... free of stress... vs standing up and pushing forward to eat. Comfortable cows will eat more... for increased milk production
I didn't realize that standing up to eat was a stressful thing to do.
Posted by KW in Dallas, TX on 10/24/08 at 10:06 AM
KW, this should work. Cows lay around hours and hours chewing their cuds. The better job they do on that the more milk that gets produced. Ya' every hear of "contented cows"?
Posted by Expat47 in Athens, Greece on 10/24/08 at 10:16 AM
We're going to make the cows as fat as the population of the US
Posted by Jules in Connecticut on 10/24/08 at 10:20 AM
"Dinged-up heifers and "basketball" sized hocks are history. You save in reduced, premature culls... and lower vet bills"

I need an 'english to cowpoke' dictionary for this one. On second thought, I don't think I want to know what that means.
Posted by Madd Maxx on 10/24/08 at 10:21 AM
Hocks are legs and premature culling is basically dying too early
Posted by Jules in Connecticut on 10/24/08 at 10:32 AM
How do you ding-up a heifer? Is that a result of beer goggles?

"She must have been allergic to dick...I woke up the next day and she was all fat and swollen."
Posted by Madd Maxx on 10/24/08 at 10:37 AM
"Comfortable cows will eat more" -- I can relate to this. I always eat more laying on the sofa watching the game (Go Buckeyes!!) than standing up in a field.
Posted by BikerPuppy on 10/24/08 at 11:27 AM
Jules, I don't think they mean hocks as in legs, since they are referring to them as basketball-sized. Maybe they are, but that would be a weird(er)-looking cow.
Posted by kingmonkey in Athens, Ontario on 10/24/08 at 12:59 PM
kingmonkey - Actually, Jules is correct. The 'hock' is like the rear knee joint, I believe, on animals. You know how the rear leg bends opposite ours. In this case they are referring to a swelling of those joints. I believe this is what is meant.
Posted by Madd Maxx on 10/24/08 at 01:07 PM
That makes a bit more sense... knee joints, got it.
Posted by kingmonkey in Athens, Ontario on 10/24/08 at 01:27 PM
Posted by Caffeinated Katie in Atlanta, GA on 10/24/08 at 05:26 PM
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