Monkey Steals the Peach

"Monkey steals the peach" is apparently what ninjas call this move, but I think Chuck has covered cases in which amateurs have performed similar feats purely by accident.

The illustration is from the book Ninja Mind Control by Ashida Kim. (According to Boing Boing which posted about this a couple of years ago.)

     Posted By: Alex - Mon Apr 27, 2009
     Category: Death | Genitals

I wrestled in high school for a bit and there were jokes (I hope) of a related move, the five-finger hold.
Posted by jswolf19 in Japan on 04/27/09 at 08:49 AM
"The impact will lift the enemy off the ground." :shut:

"Those skilled in chi kung can direct energy up the Ch'ueng Mo channel of the body and stop the heart."

P.S. If you hit me in the junk that hard, I have a feeling it wouldn't take the channeling of energy to stop my heart.

"Followers of the Iron Hand styles..." :long:

"..with a crushing grip.." :grrr:

"..effectively ripping away the genitals.." :gulp:

How do you PRACTICE something like that?
Posted by Jmonkeh on 04/27/09 at 09:02 AM
That's just nutty.
Posted by Madd Maxx on 04/27/09 at 09:21 AM
Looks like the ninja hit the guy so hard in the junk the guy's right hand popped off.

So I want to know, which monkey is stealing the peaches, Kingmonkey or Lovemonkey?
Posted by DownCrisis on 04/27/09 at 09:31 AM
Uh, as a matter of fact, I did learn this move when I attended Shao-lin kung fu classes back in my hometown.
Posted by kingmonkey in Athens, Ontario on 04/27/09 at 10:10 AM
Ninja Mind Control? Guys grabbing the other guys balls. Unless he is telepathically projecting an image of chocolate cake on that guys brain to cloak his obvious lunge for the balls then that isn't mind control. Honestly, I've known many women capable of exerting better "mind control" over male genitalia.
Posted by Pablo on 04/27/09 at 11:19 AM
Reminds me of a tagline I saw many years ago:

"Grab 'em by the balls. The hearts and minds will follow."

That could be where the mind control comes into play.
Posted by DownCrisis on 04/27/09 at 11:35 AM
Yeah its the grabbing part that seems to contradict the mind control. Although the act of grabbing can be utilized to very effective psychological ends. Perhaps the best extension of this logic is the example "I grabbed a gun and controlled his mind through the power of suggestion." Or perhaps more subtle would be a female grabbing her own buttocks and thereby controlling your mind. I prefer the later.
Posted by Pablo on 04/27/09 at 01:56 PM
First off, that looks like a highly effective way to get a man to stop being obnoxious.

Second, Pablo said: "Honestly, I've known many women capable of exerting better "mind control" over male genitalia."

How many is 'many women'? Inquiring minds want to know!
Posted by Nethie on 04/27/09 at 06:17 PM
When I started training in Xiaolin, we had to study all kinds of martial arts texts. You wouldn't believe how many different forms of Kung-Fu actually use almost that exact move. Testicles are a very important strike zone, apparently. So much so that many of the masters trained themselves for years to toughen their testicles to the point of near invincibility.
It's quite an odd thing to stand by and watch while a grown man gets punched in the grapes repeatedly, and he just laughs in their faces.
Posted by MohawkWarrior on 04/27/09 at 09:09 PM
And people complain about condoms reducing sensitivity...
Posted by jswolf19 in Japan on 04/27/09 at 09:16 PM
Monkey peals the banana,
Monkey steals the peach,
Putting my foot up your arse
is the only move I teach.
Posted by Venus in Baton Rouge on 04/27/09 at 10:16 PM
Think that is called Monkey hides the piggies.
Posted by Pablo on 04/27/09 at 11:01 PM
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