The F State Mind on Sale, Plus Cow-Tipping 2.0

News of the Weird Daily
Wednesday, January 21, 2009

The Colorado cop whacked out on sodium pentothal
Colorado State Univ. police chief Dexter Yarbrough finally got suspended last month after a bunch of run-ins, and now audio tapes of one of his classroom lectures have been released, demonstrating Dexter as a yeah-tell-it-brutha kinda guy. Oh, yeah, cops are forced to set bad guys up with drug buys, he told the students in the sociology class he also taught. And if they get caught doing that, Oh, yeah, they have to lie about it. Sure, you have to pop the bad guys once in a while in custody, but the way out of that is to tell the media, Oh, that's terrible, we'll have to investigate that. And rape accusations? "[W]omen want the dick, even when they say 'no,' they want the dick." Rocky Mountain Collegian
Comments 'dexter_yarbrough'

For those seeking an explanation of the Florida mind
Charles Griffin, 42, Middleburg, Fla., who calls himself a genius, who "thinks outside the box," has put his brainpower up for sale on eBay (starting: $1.00). Put the F State mind to work for you! Admittedly, "genius" makes him way-atypical of the state, but on the other hand, possessing an inflated opinion of one's self is absolutely representative. WJXT-TV (Jacksonville) via MSNBC
Comments 'fstate_mind'

More Things to Worry About

Things You Thought Didn't Happen: Her son just won the lottery, so she feels she can retire now, at age 72, after 39 yrs managing restaurants . . Mickey D restaurants. Clayton News Daily (Jonesboro, Ga.)

If you ever meet Stephanie Anne Rydesky, avoid working "brownies" into the conversation because that's what triggered her cane attack on her dad and the burning down of his farmhouse. York (Pa.) Daily Record

The highly-indecisive Briton Michael Mason, 66, finally had that sex-change surgery he said he's needed for 50-60 yrs. (Bonus: The brand-new Michelle Mason has fallen in love with a 70-yr-old man who is a former local official with the Conservative Party.) Daily Telegraph

In Boulder, Colo., a cow went out woman-tipping. Associated Press via Yahoo

UK's latest gov't-funded education proposal: An essential way to reduce the schoolyard bullying of gay students is to start teaching "pleasure and desire [of sex] in educational contexts" to kids as young as, er, 5. Daily Mail

A Middle Easterner, in the U.S. illegally, misplaced the claim check for his luggage at a casino and decided to get all huffy with the employees, even making sarcastic comments about the luggage maybe containing a bomb. The Press of Atlantic City

Comments on Things to Worry About?
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People Whose Sex Lives Are Worse Than Yours
Matthew Hill, 24, explained that his girlfriend had just broken up with him and that's why he was knocking on neighbors' doors in the middle of the night with his stuff hanging out of his zipper. Journal Star (Lincoln, Neb.)
Comments 'matthew_hill'

Your Daily Jury Duty
["In America, a person is presumed innocent until the mug shot is released"]
Penny Huston, 57, might be guilty of biting her infant granddaughter, but it might have been the dog that bit the girl, or the girl, herself. (Besides, Penny insists, she doesn't have enough teeth left to make the bite marks.) (Cops: Yes, she does.) Muncie (Ind.) Star Press [LINK FIXED]
Comments 'penny_huston'

Today's Newsrangers: Sandy Pearlman, Meg Barnhart
     Posted By: Chuck - Wed Jan 21, 2009

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