Chuck’s Hand-Picked Overnight Weird News for Friday
How'd you like to be married to Christina Downs?
The Portsmouth, N.H., woman, 24, challenged a seemingly slam-dunk speeding ticket (44 in a 25mph zone) by insisting on a trial and, acting as her own lawyer, opening 96 lines of inquiry, demanding engineering studies, radar-gun reports, urban planning data on traffic flow, integrity of the tuning-fork-calibration for the radar gun, police officers' "perception reactor time," and so on and so on. The state supreme court told her, No: $100. Yep, she may get married some day, and the lucky couple will be having to work out their problems, and how do ya think those discussions are gonna go? Portsmouth Herald
Comments 'christina_downs'
Ya don't get to read lede passages like this very often
"They took all the Rabbits but they left the Seahorse, probably because they had enough butt plugs. The Seahorse comes with a butt plug."
That was Wanda Cotie, owner of Wicked Wanda's Adult Emporium explaining to an Ottawa Sun reporter the extent of the overnight theft of merchandise by burglars. "They didn't even touch the German stuff." "They didn't bother with the leather garb" and "didn't check for money." They just wanted the buzz toys. Some of the inventory was expendable, but one, she said, "the chin-strapped Accommodator," is "too valuable" for her to just shrug off. Ottawa Sun
Comments 'wicked_wandas'
Nat'l Security Agency whistleblowers say, if you're a U.S. citizen abroad and call your spouse back home for some pillow talk, better assume it's a threesome
NSA says of course they're not supposed to be noticing purely private phone calls, but c'mon, human nature! You're monitoring calls for nat'l security, and all of a sudden, "What are you wearing, honey" comes over the system, and of course, you put it up on speakerphone! ABC News
Comments 'nsa_sextalk'
The way we've always done it is always the best way to do it
A city "policy" in Austin, Tex., is that restoring traffic flow in construction zones takes precedence over other interests. Residents of a neighborhood where a new sewer line is going in have noticed that the contractor spends the first few hours of every work day digging up the street and the last few hours of every work day putting the dirt back down and laying asphalt over it (so that traffic can resume at night). That means the contractors are spending about half their time re-digging the same hole and then re-laying the same dirt and pavement. Seriously. American-Statesman
Comments 'austin_contractor'
Your Daily Loser
The only reason Bruce George, 20, molested that 6-yr-old girl, he said, was that he was trying to do something really disgusting, to make people hate him, so he could stoke himself up to commit suicide. He tried, but he said the gun wouldn't fire. Anchorage Daily News
Comments 'bruce_george'
Your Daily Jury Duty
[no fair examining the evidence; verdict must be based on mugshot only]
Michael Edward Bodzsar, 20, could possibly be the kind of guy who looks at teenage pornography. WHMI Radio (Genoa Township, Mich.)
Comments 'michael_bodzsar'
More Things to Worry About on Friday
The Bromsgrove district council in England ordered Bill Malcolm to take down the 3-ft-high barbed-wire fence around his property, and we all know why (If burglars get hurt, they'll sue) . . . . . So George Washington was the father of his country, but, jeez, these two guys seem to be the "father of the state of South Australia" (sperm donors with 59 kids between 'em) . . . . . Update: Deported radical cleric Omar Bakri Mohammed (the one who left behind in Britain the 26-yr-old daughter who became a pole dancer) has divorced and remarried in Lebanon (to a woman younger than the daughter) (and, by the way, he insists she's not daughter) . . . . . Update: And Lehman Brothers denies that CEO Richard Fuld was punched out in the company gym (despite CNBC's insistence that its sources are solid). Today's Newsrangers: Karl Olson, Paul Andrews, Ginger Katz, Sandy Pearlman, Gil Nelson
Comments 'worry_081010'
Editor's Note
Weird Universe will be changing the format of the daily news feed somewhat, beginning on Monday. The changes would hardly amount to much even if we were in a tranquil era of global peace and prosperity, but here they are:
* Monday through Friday (not Saturday)
* Name change for the daily news feed
* More stories mentioned and linked, posted in two parts throughout the day, initially, and later on, three parts
* Written the night before and not the same morning
* Comment threads will not be individualized for all stories linked
Ah, forget it, I'm getting bored explaining this, and none of it matters very much. All that's important is that when you see something that sorta looks like Chuck's Hand-Picked Overnights but is a little different, well, that's what's going on.
(If you've already subscribed to the daily e-mail news feed through Google Groups, you'll still get one e-mail a day that contains all the feeds. If you'd like to sign up for that list, go here.) (Sorry! Link added!)
(And by the way, I'm going to post this identical Editor's Note tomorrow so when you see it, you can skip it.)
Comments 'editors_081009'
The Portsmouth, N.H., woman, 24, challenged a seemingly slam-dunk speeding ticket (44 in a 25mph zone) by insisting on a trial and, acting as her own lawyer, opening 96 lines of inquiry, demanding engineering studies, radar-gun reports, urban planning data on traffic flow, integrity of the tuning-fork-calibration for the radar gun, police officers' "perception reactor time," and so on and so on. The state supreme court told her, No: $100. Yep, she may get married some day, and the lucky couple will be having to work out their problems, and how do ya think those discussions are gonna go? Portsmouth Herald
Comments 'christina_downs'
Ya don't get to read lede passages like this very often
"They took all the Rabbits but they left the Seahorse, probably because they had enough butt plugs. The Seahorse comes with a butt plug."
That was Wanda Cotie, owner of Wicked Wanda's Adult Emporium explaining to an Ottawa Sun reporter the extent of the overnight theft of merchandise by burglars. "They didn't even touch the German stuff." "They didn't bother with the leather garb" and "didn't check for money." They just wanted the buzz toys. Some of the inventory was expendable, but one, she said, "the chin-strapped Accommodator," is "too valuable" for her to just shrug off. Ottawa Sun
Comments 'wicked_wandas'
Nat'l Security Agency whistleblowers say, if you're a U.S. citizen abroad and call your spouse back home for some pillow talk, better assume it's a threesome
NSA says of course they're not supposed to be noticing purely private phone calls, but c'mon, human nature! You're monitoring calls for nat'l security, and all of a sudden, "What are you wearing, honey" comes over the system, and of course, you put it up on speakerphone! ABC News
Comments 'nsa_sextalk'
The way we've always done it is always the best way to do it
A city "policy" in Austin, Tex., is that restoring traffic flow in construction zones takes precedence over other interests. Residents of a neighborhood where a new sewer line is going in have noticed that the contractor spends the first few hours of every work day digging up the street and the last few hours of every work day putting the dirt back down and laying asphalt over it (so that traffic can resume at night). That means the contractors are spending about half their time re-digging the same hole and then re-laying the same dirt and pavement. Seriously. American-Statesman
Comments 'austin_contractor'
Your Daily Loser
The only reason Bruce George, 20, molested that 6-yr-old girl, he said, was that he was trying to do something really disgusting, to make people hate him, so he could stoke himself up to commit suicide. He tried, but he said the gun wouldn't fire. Anchorage Daily News
Comments 'bruce_george'
Your Daily Jury Duty
[no fair examining the evidence; verdict must be based on mugshot only]
Michael Edward Bodzsar, 20, could possibly be the kind of guy who looks at teenage pornography. WHMI Radio (Genoa Township, Mich.)
Comments 'michael_bodzsar'
More Things to Worry About on Friday
The Bromsgrove district council in England ordered Bill Malcolm to take down the 3-ft-high barbed-wire fence around his property, and we all know why (If burglars get hurt, they'll sue) . . . . . So George Washington was the father of his country, but, jeez, these two guys seem to be the "father of the state of South Australia" (sperm donors with 59 kids between 'em) . . . . . Update: Deported radical cleric Omar Bakri Mohammed (the one who left behind in Britain the 26-yr-old daughter who became a pole dancer) has divorced and remarried in Lebanon (to a woman younger than the daughter) (and, by the way, he insists she's not daughter) . . . . . Update: And Lehman Brothers denies that CEO Richard Fuld was punched out in the company gym (despite CNBC's insistence that its sources are solid). Today's Newsrangers: Karl Olson, Paul Andrews, Ginger Katz, Sandy Pearlman, Gil Nelson
Comments 'worry_081010'
Editor's Note
Weird Universe will be changing the format of the daily news feed somewhat, beginning on Monday. The changes would hardly amount to much even if we were in a tranquil era of global peace and prosperity, but here they are:
* Monday through Friday (not Saturday)
* Name change for the daily news feed
* More stories mentioned and linked, posted in two parts throughout the day, initially, and later on, three parts
* Written the night before and not the same morning
* Comment threads will not be individualized for all stories linked
Ah, forget it, I'm getting bored explaining this, and none of it matters very much. All that's important is that when you see something that sorta looks like Chuck's Hand-Picked Overnights but is a little different, well, that's what's going on.
(If you've already subscribed to the daily e-mail news feed through Google Groups, you'll still get one e-mail a day that contains all the feeds. If you'd like to sign up for that list, go here.) (Sorry! Link added!)
(And by the way, I'm going to post this identical Editor's Note tomorrow so when you see it, you can skip it.)
Comments 'editors_081009'
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