Asparagus Divination

Jemima Packington divines the future by interpreting asparagus. She calls this the art of Asparamancer. She throws the asparagus in the air, and where they land tells her the future. Using this method, she claims to have correctly foreseen Brexit, Prince Philip's death, Theresa May's resignation, and the Queen's death.

The latest thing that the asparagus have told her: "King Charles will take a step back, due to his age, and make William Prince Regent."

More info:

     Posted By: Alex - Sat Sep 24, 2022
     Category: Predictions | Royalty | Vegetables

She's predicted the next PM after Liz Truss: Boris Johnson. However, she ripped this one off from Johnson himself. (His reference to Cincinnatus in his farewell speech)

Also, she says Ukraine will defeat Russia. I could have given you that one without throwing any veggies on the floor.

Posted by Virtual in Carnate on 09/24/22 at 08:07 AM
Burn the witch!

Someone who was something of an authority (working on their PhD in Theology) told me that divination /fortune telling was the only basis for naming someone a witch in Biblical times. All the other trappings that we call witchcraft were added much later.
Posted by Phideaux on 09/24/22 at 02:46 PM
King Charles will NEVER step back
Posted by Ed DART on 09/24/22 at 11:15 PM
@Phideaux: that, and poisoning. But yes, the Witch of Endor was a fortune teller. I wonder what she told the Ewoks?
Posted by Richard Bos on 10/01/22 at 10:32 AM
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