Chuck’s Hand-Picked Overnight Weird News for Thursday

That's Messed Up: SWAT team raided the wrong house, riddled the place with bullets, is now formally cited for "bravery" and "professionalism" during that very raid
The theory is, apparently, that it takes above-and-beyond ability and character to tear the wrong place apart if the innocent, underwear-soiling homeowner starts firing back at you. Without that professionalism, this episode "could have gone horribly wrong," said the Minneapolis police chief, failing to understand that this episode did go horribly wrong. The innocent Mr. Vang Khang became, once again, livid. WCCO-TV (Minneapolis)
Comments 'swat_honored'

How to drive an environmentalist nuts
You're an Arab Sheikh with a Lamborghini, and you need to get it serviced, and you don't like your options in Qatar, so you fly it, commercial, to London, and back. Not a carbon "footprint," a carbon crater. The Sun (London)
Comments 'sheikh_lamborghini'

Presto! $10B (Zim) now worth $1 (Zim)!
And don't y'all try anything funny by price-gouging or speculating, said President Mugabe, or there'll be hell to pay! The largest bill, to be issued tomorrow, is $500 (Zim), which will replace $5T (Zim). London's Daily Mail, by the way, today produces a photo of a 7-23-2008 bank draft from MBCA Bank (in Harare), for the hand-written amount of, er, $1.072Q, which would be one quadrillion, 72 trillion. (Bonus: the account and bank tracking numbers are clearly visible, but so is "Not Negotiable" on the original draft's printing, so it might be a fake, but maybe it'll keep the Nigerian 419 scammers busy for a few days.) Associated Press via New York Times // Daily Mail
Comments 'zimbabwe_currency'

Alert the World Health Org'n! Epidemic of public wanking!
Michael Weber, 37, in his car, waiting his turn at a sobriety checkpoint near Cincinnati. Brendan Erhardt, 39, driving home in Australia (Bonus: video'ed himself in the act in the car, plus had 10 lbs. of dope and two marijuana plants on the back seat). Daniel Chelland, 18, Wilmington, Del., taking a break on the curb from his job selling Verizon services door-to-door. WKRC-TV (Cincinnati) // Northern Territory News (Darwin) // Wilmington News Journal
Comments 'public_wanking'

Your Daily Loser
In a spectacular failure of both rehab and deterrence, Timothy Wallace, 38, was arrested in Elkmont, Ala., for robbing the Superior Bank, 13 yrs after drawing a 12-yr prison sentence for robbing the same bank. Associated Press via WVTM-TV (Birmingham)
Comments 'timothy_wallace'

People Whose Sex Lives Are Worse Than Yours
Alongside today's masturbateurs (above) we have Rev. Scott Murray, 48, who resigned from the New Covenant Church in Clyde, N.C. (pop. 1,324), after being arrested for breaking into a woman's home and stealing a "sex toy and a bottle of personal lubricant." WLOS-TV (Asheville) [Link contains a video with mugshot, along with sound bites from disapproving middle-aged residents of Clyde]
Comments 'scott_murray'

Your Daily Jury Duty
[no fair examining the evidence; verdict must be based on mugshot only]
Juan Alvarez (the fella on the left) might have been one of the guys on a Reno, Nev., burglary spree. Reno Gazette-Journal
Comments 'juan_alvarez'

More Things to Worry About on Thursday
A 21-yr-old New York angler was killed when he yanked his lead sinker out of the water with such force that, by accident it slammed into his skull and penetrated his brain . . . . . An itinerant Alabama preacher heroically ministered to the flock even though he realized that his eldest daughter was right then, in real time, ratting him out to the police for molesting her and killing his wife (Bonus: The missus had been in the freezer for as long as 3 yrs) . . . . . Michael Wax is demanding an apology from the Borgata casino in Atlantic City for ejecting him on body-odor grounds ("There's no question I stink. I'm not denying it. I do have an odor. I've been playing for 17 hours.") . . . . . The Riyadh Comm'n for the Protection of Virtue and the Prevention of Vice banned dog-walking, on the ground that it might lead to owners' intersex flirting . . . . . A fella ought to be able to create a Verizon DSL User Name with his own name that's been in the phone book for decades, but if you're Dr. Herman Libshitz, Verizon blocks it. Today's Newsrangers: Jonathan Barnes, Roger Gulbransen, Abby Dombrovski, Jerry Whittle, Tony Jeswald, Don Schullian, Paul Vogt, Peter Hine, Joe Littrell, Steve Dunn, Paul Music
Comments 'worry_080731'

     Posted By: Chuck - Thu Jul 31, 2008

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