DNA comes through again: The murderer swore he never raped her, and he didn't!
David Steffen is on death row for the aggravated murder of an Ohio woman in 1982, with the aggravated part being that semen was found on the probably-a-virgin victim. He admitted the killing, but vehemently denied the sex, and, of course nobody believed him. Then Kenneth Douglas was arrested this past March for drug trafficking, and a routine DNA test on him matched the murder victim's semen, and, yes, yes, Douglas used to work for the county coroner! And, yes, Douglas was, er, that kind of guy! (Well, according to police, he was.) (Steffen might still be screwed, though, because at trial, in an attempt to create an aura of candor, he admitted that he wanted to have sex with the victim but held back, and capital murder includes "attempted" rape, too, so he's still on death row for now.) (Bonus: The victim's parents were ecstatic at the news . . because it means, ahem, their little girl was a virgin all her life.) Cincinnati Enquirer
Sounds Like a Joke: Praying for cheaper gas, and now, fasting against gang crime
The "Midwest co-chair" of the "Pray at the Pump" movement said God seems to be working for them, with the recent, slight drop at the pump. (Bonus: They actually gathered at a St. Louis Mobil station and sang "We Shall Overcome.") (Seriously) In Salinas, Calif., the mayor, exasperated that his city has suddenly become a haven for gang shoot-outs, is leading the town in a fast until gangs go away. "People say that fasting couldn't possibly work," he said, "but the evidence suggests otherwise." Associated Press via Yahoo // Los Angeles Times
Update: The latest stop on the Virgin Mary's World Tour
(an appearance on a disgusting-looking floor drain of a restaurant undergoing renovation in the aforementioned town of Salinas) KGTV
School sued for making it too easy for trespassers
The teenagers decided to climb on the roof of the elementary school in Port Jervis, N.Y., one night in January, and one fell through a skylight to her death, and now, obviously, the parents say that's the school's fault because there were milk cartons sitting there, and everybody knows that when kids see milk cartons lying around, they want to use them to get up on the roof. Times Herald-Record
The F State's signature academic institution
The University of Florida was named by Princeton Review yesterday as the best college in the entire United States of America . . er . . for partying (and also for not having to study much). However, this scholarship-belittling accolade is undermined by a report that the school is in the academic vanguard, in that it offers a graduate concentration in . . comics (for English majors). So there. Mixed signals. Miami Herald // Christian Science Monitor
Your Daily Jury Duty
[no fair examining the evidence; verdict must be based on mugshot only]
Ben Hawkins, 44, charged in Cincinnati with an elaborate (yet still tacky) scheme to get to fondle little girls. Cincinnati Enquirer
More Things to Worry About on Tuesday
A canned eel drink
went on sale in Japan this month, and eel is so popular that authorities are worried about "eel fraud" cases [Ed.: Like, what, is somebody substituting slugs for eel? What's lower than eel?]
. . . . . Motorist Darrell Favorite, 39, crashed into a house, and since he wasn't wearing a seat belt, he, personally, landed on the roof
. . . . . A British cosmetics company introduces Guy-liner and Manscara,
and says it's not just for transvestites! . . . . . Vice President Cheney said he couldn't give a speech to the Disabled American Veterans convention in Las Vegas unless they all got their prosthetics on and were in their wheelchairs with their bladders evacuated two full hours before his arrival
(Security, you know).
I was too subtle yesterday in referencing the Museum of Sex's chief consultant on the odd-mating arrangements of animals. Fascination with critter copulation is only one facet of Joan Roughgarden's bio.
She's a Harvard Ph.D, and a serious Christian, and has challenged the specifics of the natural theory of sexual selection, and, for 52 yrs, was Jonathan Roughgarden. Today's Newsrangers: Scott Langill, Karl Olson, Ronald Shimek