The Uprising of the Cows

We've been warning about the threat posed by cows for quite a while here on WU (see here, here, and here), and recent news confirms the danger they pose. A 68-year-old woman was walking her dog in a field in rural England, when she was attacked and trampled by cows. Her dog survived. And just a few months ago, a 46-year-old hiker in England was similarly attacked and trampled by cows. Has the uprising of the cows begun? []

The linked article includes some tips on what to do should you find yourself facing a field of potentially hostile cows:
  • avoid entering the field
  • let go of your dog if the cows charge
  • don't try to outrun the cows
  • run downhill if possible
  • make yourself as loud and big as possible

     Posted By: Alex - Mon Oct 15, 2012
     Category: Violence | Cows

They may be domesticated but the modern bovine is still a herd animal with all the instincts of its ancestors. The animal kingdom version of a street gang, if you will.

I grew up around cows owned by my parents and the neighbors. For the most part they are pretty smart animals with a sense of curiosity approaching a human child. Where trouble occurs is when there young cattle within the herd or a bull with a mating scent up his nose. The second ingredient is an urban human who thinks cows are so cute and want to pet one. I won't blame the cattle for being cattle.
Posted by KDP on 10/15/12 at 11:00 AM
Yell things like, "I ate your mama, think I'm scared of you?!?" and
"I've got no beef with you, moove along!"
Throw a cow pattie and tell your dog to fetch so he becomes a decoy.
But whatever you do DO NOT jump in the pig pen to get away from the cows, that is like jumping from the frying pan into the fire!!! :cheese:
Posted by Patty in Ohio, USA on 10/15/12 at 11:02 AM
There are cows then there are cows! Some breeds are, by nature, pretty docile while other breeds think stomping on people is great fun! I wouldn't trust a Jersey with a fence between us. And the "wee heeland coo" may be cute but they've got horns at, precisely, the worst height for a guy!
Posted by Expat47 in Athens, Greece on 10/15/12 at 11:59 AM
Two words, BULL WHIP!
In Texas you can buy one at the 7-11!
They keep them right next to the cool whip. :coolsmile: :lol:
Posted by Tyrusguy on 10/15/12 at 12:17 PM
@Tyrusguy .. Wouldn't someone in Texas just pull out their gun and shoot them ?

I could use one of those whips but not for cows if you can send me one 🐛
Posted by BrokeDad in Midwest US on 10/15/12 at 01:45 PM
If faced with a field of potentially hostile cows .... don't enter the field.

Posted by Dave Upton on 10/15/12 at 02:18 PM
If the cows really are starting an uprising then the steaks are high
Posted by Fluffy Bunny Slippers on 10/15/12 at 05:26 PM
When you go hiking in England, the marked paths run right through cow pastures; you have no choice if you want to hike the trail; these are trails that have been there forever. These cows don't get out of your road, but I've found they aren't aggressive if you don't get edgy or nervous. I would never go through a herd with a dog because they could get defensive. I once watched a huge herd of cattle out west charge directly at a single coyote that was just passing through. It sure picked up its pace. Remember that cattle are from the same family as Cape buffalo, who can kill lions.
Posted by Harvey on 10/15/12 at 07:47 PM
Jersey's have pretty faces. I did not know they were mean.
BD you do not need a bullwhip!!
Posted by Patty in Ohio, USA on 10/15/12 at 08:13 PM
We were parked at a state park in AZ after a hike around a cienega, taking a little rest and changing out of our hiking boots before getting back in the car, when suddenly we heard a strange noise. We turned to see a scene out of an old western movie. A small cloud of dust approached and out rode a cowboy, warning us to stand back. A few seconds later, a huge cloud of dust rolled in and a herd of cattle came running by, followed by more cowboys and some dogs. The sound of the hooves and snorting and mooing was incredible. The ground shook. I sure wouldn't want to be caught in the midst of that; a painful death to be sure.
Posted by ScoutC on 10/15/12 at 08:31 PM
@BD for non-bovine uses, She'll prefer the cool whip! :coolsmile:
Posted by Tyrusguy on 10/15/12 at 09:11 PM
Exactly Ty! 😜
Posted by Patty in Ohio, USA on 10/16/12 at 01:07 AM
Mike Keneally has warned us for this moment years ago.
Can't find the studio version on youtube, but here's a solo renering:
Posted by JeroenL on 10/16/12 at 03:40 AM
If there is enough interest, I will arrange advanced cow tipping classes for the spring break.
Posted by BMN on 10/16/12 at 07:58 AM
It could be FAR worse!
Posted by tadchem on 10/16/12 at 08:10 AM
@BMN: Seriously? Where are you going to find enough advanced cows to hold a class with?
Posted by Expat47 in Athens, Greece on 10/16/12 at 08:57 AM
Obviously this is the *real* mad cow disease.
Posted by semi-adult on 10/16/12 at 10:26 AM
Expat... I know a cow whisperer. 😕
Posted by BMN on 10/16/12 at 04:50 PM

(someone had to say it...)
Posted by Kyle Morgan on 10/19/12 at 11:20 AM
Posted by tadchem on 09/12/13 at 05:19 AM
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